Show me the money?

notagirlikeme

As my fiance and I were looking through invitations it occured to us that we weren't registering for gifts.  Both of us are in are late 30's and we've pretty much accumulated all the "stuff" were going to need to start our lives together.  Neither of us are interested in a China pattern and I'm pretty particular on how I decorate.  I'm also not thrilled with the prospect of taking out the beautiful, ceramic frog that Aunt Gladys gave us when she comes for a visit.  I will also need to relocate to Ohio from Las Vegas.

Due to these issues we are trying to find a graceful way to ask for cash, or giftcards, in lieu of "stuff".  I'm sure this sounds just terrible, but we're practical people.  We also realize that no matter what we do people are going to be offended.  Does anyone have a suggestion on how we should word this idea in our invitations?

phoeny_moonstar

You have it spread worth of mouth by your parents and such. Do NOT put on your invitations "Please send cash in lieu of gifts."

redheadfsu

It stinks, but you can't ask for cash anywhere (invites or website). There is no nice way to say it. Also if you do, many people get insulted & give nothing but a card.

Do word of mouth & a very small registry (like 5 things). Plus your guests should know you well enough to know you would prefer cash.

jeanna85

make a small registry. there are people that will ALWAYS want to give you a gift and you don't want to have repeat gifts like 4 toasters. otherwise spread by word of mouth that you would like some money for (blank).
people that are invited to your wedding should know that you are moving and that gifts will be incovenient to move. you shouldnt worry about it and be happy with what you get.

aerinpegadrak

Personally, I don't like giving cash at weddings.  I much prefer to give some sort of actual gift, even if it's just a gift card.  I think a lot of people are similar. 

I would do a small registry of easily portable gifts, perhaps at a store that has a good return policy (like Bed Bath and Beyond).  That way people who want to get you something tangible still can, but most of the guests will clue into the fact that you prefer cash.

trix1223

To answer your question:  there isn't ANY way that you can gracefully put that you want cash on your invitation.   For that matter, etiquette precludes you from mentioning anything at all about gifts:  registry or otherwise on your invitations.

Spread the request via word of mouth, and accept that you're probably going to receive a silver turtle toothpick holder whether you want it or not.

lilcassers

Just register for more practical stuff at your fav store like a digi camera, a cute lamp, or something that you know you want.need that doesn't have to do with the practical appliances and what not.

Also if you want to take anything back, you can just take everything back get store credits and buy the stuff you really want. As long as you have the tag on the item, you can always exchange stuff. Like for example, if you even put meijer onthe registery, you can get credit and buy groceries.. that is as practical as you can get! haha

thepips

i just asked the same question and have seen it on here a bunch of times. almost everyone who replied to me told me there is no good way to ask for money. it seems to me that if there are a bunch of people that want to do this, why can't we start a trend of not having people buy us frivolous gifts that will never get used. money will always get used that's my personal opinion. people coming to your wedding know your situation. they also know that you probably already have everything since you're older and have been living together. do what you feel works for you and your fiance. i don't see the need to register for crap that will sit in storage or just get donated. i do however like some people's ideas of registering for towels and linens that are new. but how many towels do you really need?

aerinpegadrak

There's nothing saying you can only register for the standard registry crap.  Many stores now have wedding registries, so you can register for whatever you want.  We're registered at Amazon.com, and while we do have some of the traditional registry items, we also have a bunch of gadgets, games, and specialized kitchen stuff that we'll be really excited to get.

The point of a registry is to give guests the option of buying something they know you want.  If you register for something that you don't actually want, you're completely missing the point.

lyndausvi

Cash is a weird thing for some people.   For example I remember being 22 and poor.  I was able to find a nice  $50 vase for $25 on sale for one of my friends as a gift (which BTW she still uses).  I could only afford $25 at the time. If I just gave cash I would have felt pretty cheap.  At least with my gift I did not have to announce that I was poor.

 I'm 40 and have what I needed.   I live in the islands were shipping things pretty much suck.  Our wedding was in the states.  We still registried from some gifts and did not request cash at all.

We received gifts for our shower and mostly cash for our wedding (pretty standard in our circle).

I'm was married a year ago.  Everytime I see or use some of my wedding gifts I think of that person who gave it to me.  It might sound corny, but I really do.  While we did buy a few special things with the cash, for the most part the cash just became part of the general fund. I can't really tell you what was bought with the cash.

Maybe you do not care about keeping things forever.  But my mom still uses a set of bowls given to her at her shower 42 years ago.  We all love that we have some heirlooms from their wedding.  Getting only cash does not give you that. 


So just some food for thought.  Getting presents is not always the worse thing in the world.  You could end up with something that can last a lifetime.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_show-money?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:8ce3f42d-8a2b-4706-b013-631a98a1a155Post:2de43b8f-6725-4a05-ab03-e32f03529030">Re: Show me the money?</a>:
[QUOTE]Cash is a weird thing for some people.   For example I remember being 22 and poor.  I was able to find a nice  $50 vase for $25 on sale for one of my friends as a gift (which BTW she still uses).  I could only afford $25 at the time. If I just gave cash I would have felt pretty cheap.  At least with my gift I did not have to announce that I was poor. 
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

This is exactly why I don't like giving cash.  I'm pretty good with sales and discounts, so I can usually find a nice gift for well below retail, and be thrifty without feeling cheap.  The quality or intention of a tangible gift can be really subjective (you might like the less expensive gift better), but there's nothing subjective about a dollar amount.

mscutieri

You cannot ask for cash; any way you say it, it is considered tacky.

I registered early so my family can take advantage of Black Friday sales and Day After Christmas sales.

Register for things that you can easily ship to LV and be sure to add gift cards to your list.