What do you say....

Ashly018

What do you say when your Fiance's mother keeps pushing him to push you to just run off and elope.... As long as she is there.... My family is paying for the wedding.  I'm planning the whole thing, my fiance has said he will do what ever it is that I want to do, all she had to do is show up, or not.  Why is it that she keeps pushing, he says it's not her, that he just wants to get it over and done with so he can call me his wife, that maybe be true, but today she said it to me on facebook... "you guys should just elope and save a crap load of money".... again your not paying for it, I never asked you to, all I asked you for was a guest list.... which I still haven't gotten.  So what if only 10 people will show up from your guest list, I still want to send invitations to the people who may not show up... It's difficult enough for my fiance and I right now, we live in different states, I will not move until I have a job lined up or we get married, which ever comes first.  I get stressed out very easily, and I get extreamly emotional when I get stressed.  Every my fiance starts talking about it i loose all interest in even planning the wedding, then I get upset, and am ready to cry.  I know it's hard on him that we aren't together, but it's just as hard on me.  It makes it worse when she makes her comments and I know he is just wanting to make her happy.  I am trying to make everyone happy, and it's just not possible............

ckcavalier

Well what I would  do is sit with you're fiance and tell him what you are envisioning for the wedding day. And see if that will help. But is his mom a controlling person if she is she just may feel like just elope because she really has no say in the planning and this is her way of showing her frustration with that. I know it isn't fair but you're fiance has to be strong and tell what he wants to her as well. And before you were engaged did you guys talk about this wedding day and what you expect and what he expected?

jeannigirl

Talking with your FI about your vision of the wedding is an excellent idea. He needs to be the one talking to his mother about her comments, not you, thats like adding fuel to the fire.

You both need to make a decision that will benefit the both of you. 

Hinaj

In the beginning my FI was the one who wanted to elope and do it quickly as possible.  He thought there would be too much drama from his mom and something would be bound to go awry.  As the previous post mentioned, I talked to my FI about the kind of wedding I wanted and we both should have.  He came around to the idea that we should have the kind of wedding for ourselves and he is excited about it as well. 

Talk to your FI, explain to him how much it would mean to you?  And he should be the one to explain it to his mother that it is our decision to do it this way, and she can stop insisting on elopment.  If she doesnt, I say ignore her!  Don't let her stress you out!

goheels05

I think you should just ignore her. 

msmoore80

   I think you should talk to your FI. Tell him that when he says things like he just wants to elope it makes you sad because you two already decided on having the bigger wedding. Let him know how you feel and listen to him when he talks to you about his feelings and concerns for the wedding. It might be that he just can't stand living apart from you any longer!
   As far as his mother goes, let him talk to her after you and your FI talk and have figured everything out. He should be able to tell his mom that the two of you talked and decided that you want a bigger wedding with your families (if that's what you decide.) It's a decision that he and you made together and it's not going to change. To please give him the guest list in such and such amount of time or the two of you will invite only the people you want and she will be out of luck on any input on the guest list after that time. If she still insists on commenting on your Facebook or to you in person about eloping just ignore it or change the subject.
   Planning a wedding can be very stressful and it always seems that everyone wants to give you "advice" on what you should do. Just smile and tell them you will take that into consideration or you already have something planned out for that and let it go. Most people think they are just being helpful. Take a deep breath and relax. HTH and GL