just wondering...

misslizloves

Just wanting some other opinions that are not involved....

I have a friend whom I have known my entire life... She is a bridesmaid in my April wedding. I was one of her two MOH in her wedding this past March. She has been really negative every single one of my wedding ideas, to the point where my FI told me to limit what I share with her about the wedding because I was second guessing everything I had decided.

So my current issue is this.. My save the dates were mailed this past Saturday. All of my other BM's and MOH's have called or texted me that they got them and love them or that they are so excited. Even a male friend of my FI's sent him a picture of our save the date and said "so stoked".. 

Is it bad that my feelings are really hurt that she didn't even acknowledge the save the dates? I know no one really "has" to acknowledge them but she is in my wedding party... Just wondering if any other bride out there feels like me?

bdulli13

I would say since she probably knew they were coming, it really wasn't a big deal to her. Maybe she's just not the mushy "awwww" type. Maybe she has something going on in her own life that is making her bitter about the excitement and happiness in yours.

Don't let it ruin your happiness. Be proactive and talk to her-- about non-wedding stuff. You may be surprised at what you find out when the conversations aren't revolving around you and your day.

ElleestJenn

As PP said maybe she has something going that you don't know about it so she's finding another outlet to put her bad mood into. I was listening to a speaker not too long ago about how sometimes when something bad is happening in your life but you don't have control over it, which is scary to a lot of people not being in control. So they find something else that they can have control over to effect, ie her opinions on your wedding ideas and STDs.

I say, don't let the fact she hasn't acknowledges your STD ruin the happiness you gained from other's acknowledging them. I get what you mean though, you would hope someone close to you would share the excitement but its life. And for you wedding ideas, your FI is right, just limit what you say or don't even mention wedding stuff to her at all. 

[Deleted User]

I don't think acknowledging STD's is necessary. I think you are just over-analyzing the situation and need to chill and relax.

I also think your FI is right about giving her as little details as possible. The wedding planning should be between you and your FI, no one else. While it is fine to ask for advice on something you are debating from people, it doesn't sound like this girl is up for that. She may have other things going on in her life right now as well. The holidays are around the corner and people are busy gearing up for them, etc. And if you need advice or are debating something, you can come right here on TK and ask us.

HKD817

It sounds like she is that type of person that loves the spotlight but can't share it. She may not like the attention you are getting and she is jealous. Which is ridiculous because if she is your friend she should be happy for you regardless. I agree with your FI by limiting her involvement. I think thats the best way without making it too obvious. Dont let her ruin this for you. Put it aside and enjoy your planning.

Ashes_3

Everyone didn't acknowledge mine. So, I say no. I mean you know she got it and just because she isn't soooo excited doesn't mean you should have hurt feelings!!!

aerinpegadrak

If you're expecting everyone to crap their pants with excitement over every single element of your wedding, you're setting yourself up for crushing disappointment.  Repeat after me: "It's just a party.  No one will care about it as much as I do."  Repeat again.  Repeat until you get it.

megk8oz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-wondering-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:904e9530-657d-4baf-8512-ee274b4074c8Post:716f0d3b-a326-4b30-8eb9-10ed3cb9df1d">Re: just wondering...</a>:
[QUOTE]If you're expecting everyone to crap their pants with excitement over every single element of your wedding, you're setting yourself up for crushing disappointment.  Repeat after me: "It's just a party.  No one will care about it as much as I do."  Repeat again.  Repeat until you get it.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

I really couldn't have said it better myself. That's great that your other girls <strong>did</strong> "ooh" and "ahh" over your STDS ... but really, they didn't have to ... and it's quite possible that other things will come and go in planning that barely get acknowledged by anybody. Sure, that can be a little bummy, especially when you're so excited about it all, but the truth is, your wedding is not going to be as important to anybody else except you and your FI (And honestly, that's how it should be).

mkrupar

I think I heard from three people telling me they had received their STDs. If I don't hear from people about the invitations, then I'll worry that those got lost in the mail. I'm not about to call everyone on the list and make sure they got the STDs and what their opinions are.

I say, give her as little details as possible, that way she can't bad mouth anything. It sounds like she's definitely one of those bridesmaids that will show up but not really want to be active in anything else.