am I honestly over reacting?

dizzinea

My bridesmaid just made a very drastic change in the way she looks her hair was simmilar to this
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/227/488725547_77355745c9_m.jpg
she had long red dreads, and I specifically made her and my other maid matching hair fascinators to wear with that in mind, and she was going to wear her dreads up, They look very neat and pretty when pulled back,
well today she posted a picture on her face book and her hair now looks like this
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:mozhQVa54eHNlM:http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x186/pharmacookies/chelsea2.jpg&t=1
her head is shaved and all she has is bangs! I am shocked that she would make such a drastic change right before the wedding! she looks like a skin head, and I know that it isn't about me, or my wedding it's about her, but wouldn't you think she would at least warn me? if your bridesmaid made such a drastic change would you expect them to give you a heads up?

ehathewa

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_am-honestly-over-reacting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:90eb4f3d-ff8c-4c74-8180-7f0bcfa63b92Post:cbd9df11-00f3-48fd-a549-c7910790a7c2">am I honestly over reacting?</a>:
[QUOTE]My bridesmaid just made a very drastic change in the way she looks her hair was simmilar to this <a href="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/227/488725547_77355745c9_m.jpg" rel="nofollow">http://farm1.static.flickr.com/227/488725547_77355745c9_m.jpg</a> she had long red dreads, and I specifically made her and my other maid matching hair fascinators to wear with that in mind, and she was going to wear her dreads up, They look very neat and pretty when pulled back, well today she posted a picture on her face book and her hair now looks like this <a href="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:mozhQVa54eHNlM:http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x186/pharmacookies/chelsea2.jpg&t=1" rel="nofollow">http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:mozhQVa54eHNlM:http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x186/pharmacookies/chelsea2.jpg&t=1</a> her head is shaved and all she has is bangs! I am shocked that she would make such a drastic change right before the wedding! she looks like a skin head, and I know that it isn't about me, or my wedding it's about her, but wouldn't you think she would at least warn me? if your bridesmaid made such a drastic change would you expect them to give you a heads up?
Posted by dizzinea[/QUOTE]

Yes, you are honestly over-reacting.  Your bridesmaids are people you love...  I hope that you don't love people based on the way they look. 

RoxysMama

While I understand that bridemaids are not and should not be required to alter their lives for your wedding day I can also totally understand how such a derasttic change in someone's appearance would somewhat shock you and potentialy cause a distraction on your wedding day. 

I am sure that your friend in no way did this to snub you.  I think you should just let it go and enjoy your day.  You will still of course be the center of attention. 

MissyCee

Wow, that is quite a drastic hair do! I agree that bridesmaids don't have to clear their choices through you first but I could understand not being thrilled about this crazy hair cut. I would say that you don't have to be happy about the 'do but don't give her a hard time about it. It's her head and she can do whatever she wants with it, even if it is terribly ugly.

vsgal

Glad to see you are not freaking out about this.  She has already cut it, so at this point, getting upset is not going to change her hair.  Personally, I think it is very edgy.  I am sure it will be gorgeous in your photos.

Viczaesar

What's a hair fascinator?

dizzinea

it's not her, both examples were random google images of people with simmilar hair cuts, I would never put her up here!

Victoriatx

yeah id be pissed, WTH MOH! WORK WITH ME HERE! she knows very well she is in your wedding, I would understand if you pulled her out. yes yes we love our MOH but common sense you know! and i am paying lots of money for a photograoher and my memories are going to have her new fad documented forever! well actually i would probably just make sure she wasnt in too many pics. I just know that i have never done that to a bride and put her in this situation. If you can work around it and deal then good for you

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_am-honestly-over-reacting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:90eb4f3d-ff8c-4c74-8180-7f0bcfa63b92Post:dea9d564-ddbc-4b9b-8dd3-ca73e97e3e66">Re: am I honestly over reacting?</a>:
[QUOTE]yeah id be pissed, WTH MOH! WORK WITH ME HERE! she knows very well she is in your wedding, I would understand if you pulled her out. yes yes we love our MOH but common sense you know! and i am paying lots of money for a photograoher and my memories are going to have her new fad documented forever! well actually i would probably just make sure she wasnt in too many pics. I just know that i have never done that to a bride and put her in this situation. If you can work around it and deal then good for you
Posted by Victoriatx[/QUOTE]

I hope this is a joke and yo'ure being sarcastic.

A BM isn't required at all to inform you of any changes she plans to change to her appearance. If a bride expected me to do that, I'd drop out. You don't pick BMs because of how they look, you pick them because they're the people closest to you. You're welcome to your opinion on whether you like it or not, but you should absolutely not say anything. And I don't think you should be mad at her for possibly being a "distraction" on the wedding day. Her hairstyle has nothing to do with your wedding.

NillaWafer10

I won't lie.  I would be pissed!  I wouldn't say anything about it though haha!

megk8oz

I could understand being shocked. I really can understand that. It is a drastic change.

But ... I also believe you picked your friends and family to be in your WP because you love them for who they are: crazy hair, tattoos, piercings and all. If you picked people because of what they would look like in your pictures, you should have just hired some models off of Craiglist, ya know? It's her hair, she can do what she wants with it. If people think she looks "weird" that day, they aren't going to judge you for it (Except of course, you picked a "weird" looking dress for your girls to wear ... then that might come back to bite you, hahaha)

aerinpegadrak

Yeah, I don't blame you for being shocked, and I can understand being annoyed that you put effort into making something that she wouldn't be able to wear.  But I'm glad that both she's still going to be able to wear the fascinator, and that you've gotten over it. 

If it makes you feel better, such drastic changes like that are often very spur of the moment.  She can't really give you a heads up if she only made the decision two minutes before doing it, you know?

Knottie56296520

I think it's kind of funny. It's one of those things you can look back on in pictures and laugh about.

forrma7

i would probably be shocked at the drastic change....but i'm wondering why you are so surprised....the girl had RED DREADLOCKS. wouldn't it seem like something she would do? i don't know your friend of course, but i have a BM who gets spur of the moment tattoos and is a hairdresser so she changes her hair at the spur of the moment. if she showed up to the wedding with a new tattoo or a completely different hair color, i honestly wouldn't be surprised a bit.

what i think brides get caught up in, is you are NOT having your friends up there to look like matchy matchy clones from a magazine. they are your FRIENDS!! treat them like your friends and accept them for who they are, flaws and all.

dizzinea

ok honestly, if you look at earlier posts I've gotten over it, I have a vintage theme and last month she came over and I spent an hour with her because SHE wanted to figure out how to get her dreads into victory rolls! then I made her something to wear and was worried she couldn't wear it, but as I said when I found out she could I was fine with it, and there is a huge difference between someone spending ten years with dreads that came down to her waist and then randomly shaving their head!  tattoos she has a lot of and I'm fine with, and I'm fine with her hair, I was just really shocked and I felt like we wasted alot of time doing trial runs on her hair for her to randomly hack it off

karenwjackm

I hear ya, and feel for ya, I'd be shocked too.  Just try to laugh about it I guess.

HobokensFury

I'm not gonna lie- I'd be pissed too.

HKD817

You cannot dictate how your WP does their hair. That isn't right. Your world is all about the wedding because it is your wedding, not theirs, so they are not revolving their lives around your day and they shouldn't. I would let it go. You can't honestly let someone's hair or lack thereof bother you

ElowynW

Yeah, I wouldn't idolize how you think a wedding should go. Let people be themselves and things will be alright in the end. Enjoy!