question on how to tell our story...

jcg23

Me and my FI met at my work I am an exotic dancer which I do plan on changing asap! It isnt for me, but anyways to this day very few people know how we REALLY met. I hate lying. I don't like keeping it a secret believe me I wish we would've met almost anywhere else. I mean at least I met him, he makes me happy, who could ask for more? But they think we met at a party me and a friend went to. I mean I know it may not seem like a big deal, and it may not be until we have children, I guess it'll be like santa claus right? But I figured maybe telling them after the wedding because if we committed to the max, maybe it wouldn't seem so shocking? Any advice on this subject?

dtbluv

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_question-on-how-to-tell-our-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:95eccc9c-5f93-4644-8451-a99c5c0db58dPost:7ff67795-6def-4ad0-9f05-10d387e4a067">question on how to tell our story...</a>:
[QUOTE]Me and my FI met at my work I am an exotic dancer which I do plan on changing asap! It isnt for me, but anyways to this day very few people know how we REALLY met. I hate lying. I don't like keeping it a secret believe me I wish we would've met almost anywhere else. I mean at least I met him, he makes me happy, who could ask for more? But they think we met at a party me and a friend went to. I mean I know it may not seem like a big deal, and it may not be until we have children, I guess it'll be like santa claus right? But I figured maybe telling them after the wedding because if we committed to the max, maybe it wouldn't seem so shocking? Any advice on this subject?
Posted by jcg23[/QUOTE]

<div>Who are you telling your story to?  Who are you lying to now that you will tell the truth to after the wedding?

</div>

cwaggoner07

FWIW, my mom's cousin met her husband doing that, and they had 2 kids around my age. I don't think it was ever a secret from any of us (I certainly knew all growing up). It wasn't as big of a deal as you would think.

misssunshine17

Yeah, who are you telling? Just say you met in a club if it really is such a big deal. 

AdeleDazeem

Does your family know you're an exotic dancer?  Then, I'm sure the fact that you met someone while doing that isn't that shocking.

LnL60810

If your family knows you were an exotic dancer and obviously he knows then I don't understand what the big deal is. Maybe I'm jumping the gun on assuming your family knows. Maybe you should adopt my philosophy... "I lived before you. I lived during you. And I will dang sure live after you." If they can't accept you for who you are AFTER hours then do you really need them in your life?!

courtski2004

Before online dating was more commonplace, I was embarrassed to admit that I had met someone online. If people would ask how I met a BF, I would say that we met through mutual friends and left it at that. Not everyone has a romantic 'how we met' story, and you shouldn't feel pressured to create some over the top story, or elaborate on the nature of your job if you don't want people to know. Maybe just 'we met at work' is enough. It is for H and I.

jcg23

My family is who I want to tell. Not all my family knows I dance and I read all the responses and I appreciate them, I guess maybe I should just learn that as long as we are happy that is all that matters. I mean if they cant accept it its thier problem, we've been together for over two years now. So no one really asks anymore so I guess I just need to get over it, and I am not ashamed of my job I just have grown to hate it and it isn't a job I want to have after we get married. And especially not when we have kids, I just want a different job I was waiting to look for another job for personal reasons but I am about to change that. I have been doing it for over 3 years, Its just too long for me. But my family is just really conservative and I didn't want any negative feedback, I guess I just need to relax there are many bigger issues at hand. I guess maybe I assume too much as well my family has surprised me before. They are my family I should put more trust into that. Heck my fI's family knows it all. lol

freebread03

It's really nobody's business where you met your FI--if you really want to tell people, tell them you met at a club.  You don't need to go into details.  FI and I met through one of his best friends, who I was hooking up with at the time.  I don't tell people that when I met FI that I was standing in his kitchen eating spagetti in my underwear with his friend because we didn't know someone was coming home...I just tell people that I met FI through his friend.  (They are still good friends, and it's strangely not awkward...)

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_question-on-how-to-tell-our-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:95eccc9c-5f93-4644-8451-a99c5c0db58dPost:093e34e8-b786-46a5-a4c2-6f148c74628f">Re: question on how to tell our story...</a>:
[QUOTE]You met at a club where you worked.  <strong>There's nothing wrong with being an exotic dancer. It's a job.
</strong>Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

While I agree that it is a job, I don't think most people would say there's nothing wrong with it. My family would be very angry with me with if I was an exotic dancer... and I would not want my daughter doing it.

freebread03

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_question-on-how-to-tell-our-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:95eccc9c-5f93-4644-8451-a99c5c0db58dPost:cf832b93-478b-457a-b147-40dd7ddbf554">Re: question on how to tell our story...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: question on how to tell our story... : While I agree that it is a job, I don't think most people would say there's nothing wrong with it. My family would be very angry with me with if I was an exotic dancer... and I would not want my daughter doing it.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

<div>I think you are making a gross generalization.  Just because your family doesn't like it and you wouldn't want your daughter doing it, doesn't make it inherently wrong or indicate that most people would think its wrong.  Now if she said she was dealing drugs?  That would actually, yes, be wrong (and illegal).  I, and many others, don't see anything inherently WRONG with being an exotic dancer even if it's not what we'd choose for ourselves (though, if I had the body for it and was paying for school by myself or something like that, I'd probably seriously consider it...)</div>

jenajjthr

Like PP's have said, how you met is no big deal.  H and I reconnected through FB, which is what I tell people if they ask.  We get the awwwww's that is so romantic comments.  I don't have to inform them that at first it was a "friends with benefits" type situation, then the dating, etc.  I let them have their  "awwww" moments and everybody is happy. 

Actually our funniest story is when we were just at the dating stage and a relative mentioned how hard it was to blend families (he was a widower, me divorced).  We just looked at each other like she is crazy.   Turned out she was right.  I like telling that story so much better.  Find the story you like, and cherish it.

jcg23

Thanks for the replies. And I agree that there isn't anything wrong with it. It's a job. I should just go with the flow. I sometimes worry too much, and it isn't anyones business really. So I will just say we met at a club : and it tends to be an uncomfortable subject around my family. Since they are conservative but its not my problem I'm happy if they can't be happy for me then its their problem.