Does any one have a good idea of how to get all of the parents to get along? My parents are divoriced, his parents are together. his parents are friends with my dad's side since i was born, They all hate my mom! my mom doesnt like them but will deal with them all for the day, my dad will deal with my mom for the day, but the problem is his parents won't tolerate my mom for one day! so i have to ask his dad if he will come to our wedding before we can even plan anything else or there isn't going to be a wedding, well at least not the one i want. This is total BS but is is something i can't get out of and i have to do. Any ideas? im stuck between a rock and my future in-laws!!
Re: Help ME! AHHH
Then hire security.
They'll be too scared of humiliating themselves to behave badly.
Don't sit them near each other or expect them to do anything together or talk to each other.
Wedding goes on regardless.
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I grew up with my mom and Stepdad, never liked my step dad (we have since gotten over it)...LOVE his family though. If I invite his family I need to invite him, but my mom DOES NOT want him to be there. Also, my dad didnt raise me but I still love him alot and want him to walk me down the aisle, but I also want my mom to because she did a wonderful job raising me and deserves that. I want them both to walk me, or one halfway the other the rest of the way. And my mom doesnt think he deserves to (did I mention he's not contributing a dime...) It can be very stressful, but the one thing you have to remember, (and I have to continually remind myself) is...that it is YOUR (and your fiances) DAY. They are adults and need to recognize this. Let them know how you feel and tell them how important it is to you and maybe sitting down with your fiance and the whole bunch would do somegood depending on how civilized your family is (not sure how that would go over in my situation haha)...you might have to remind them all it's YOUR day.
No matter what happens YOU have to have fun. Dont stress. It will all work out
Try to sit down with your parents individually and his parents together and talk about exactly what you expect.
If you have to, explain how your mom is still your mom, no matter how they feel about her. You wouldn't be there without her!
Typically, your fiance's family will sit on a different side of the church from your family, so if you have to, try to set up the reception hall the same way. Let them know that you'll do what you can to limit their interaction, but it is not their wedding and they should have enough respect for you to try for that one day.
[QUOTE] the biggest problem is my fiancee refuses to have his Parents be excluded- which i don't blame him. !
Posted by suzmadeley[/QUOTE]
THIS IS NOT YOUR FIGHT. These are FI's parents. If you start demanding things of them, you will look like the bad guy - especially since it seems FI does not have your back.
Your FI needs to grow a pair of balls, support your relationship and stand up to his parents. He needs to make it clear that IF they choose to act like spoiled, bratty children, then THEY are excluding THEMSELVES.
Lots of parents use threats about not attending the wedding to get their way. 9 times out of 10, they are empty threats. IF you call their bluff they will back down. IF you give into the threats, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of kowtowing to their childish whims.
FWIW - both my parents and DH's parents went through nasty divorces. DH's parents hadn't been in the same room in the 16 years since they were in divorce court. At the wedding, everyone acted like adults. Had they not, they would have been asked to leave. When we set up the reception room, instead of having a "Bride's parent table" and "groom's parents table" we had a "dad's table" (FIL and my dad, along with close family on their sides) and a "mom's table" (MIL, and my mom, along w/ family associated with those sides) on opposite sides of the room. It worked out really well.
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This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284