To go or not to go

kaos16

I posted a question about a bachelorette party a little while back, the one with the cowgirl theme I was asked to attend. . . . . well, a new development has come up.  It seems that not as many people are going as the organizer originally hoped for, as such, the price has increased to an amount outside of my comfort range based on a number of circumstances.  I actually work at a winery so I taste for free at all of them.  Additionally, I am not very close with most of the group.
I informed the organizer, who was not overly pleased. . . which I get.

Should I A) Not go at all or meet them at one of the wineries to at least say hi. . . .i can't decide if that's tacky.  Thoughts?

ETA:  The party is a cowgirl themed wine tour.  Apparently the group will meet at the house of one person who I don't know, have a light breakfast and head to 3 wineries by limo/party bus, having lunch at one of the wineries.  I believe that's it, just being dropped back off at the same house after the wineries.

AddieCake

I feel like you answered your own question with "price has increased outside of my comfort zone," and "I am not very close with most of the group."   This doesn't sound like you will enjoy yourself, so I wouldn't go. 

HobokensFury

I vote to skip it.

AJuliaNJ

Can you link to your old post or describe the party?

It sounds like they are doing a winery tour. Possibly one of those ones where they get a limo or bus that drives from winery to winery? If it is something like that where the whole day is one flat-fee organized event, it might be awkward if you drive yourself and show up at the wineries with them, like you are getting all the benefits with none of the costs. Again, I am not even sure what kind of party it is so this might not even make sense.

Or is it something like, first there's a dinner, then wine tasting, then drinks? If it is more like that, I think it is completely fine to show up to whichever portion you'd like.

QueerFemme

Another vote for skipping it.  I'm sure the organizer isn't pleased, but when you pick a party style/theme that is pricey, more people choose not to attend. It's just the nature of the beast.

Peledreamsofrain

Just avoid it altogether. Someone will probably get thier panties in a twist if you show up but didn't pay. Even if it's just for one stop.

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_to-go-or-not-to-go?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a330d171-a61d-485a-971e-0ab6a38457a2Post:a2b2f510-2b59-4805-b923-bea8e00a1e1e">Re:To go or not to go</a>:
[QUOTE]Just avoid it altogether. Someone will probably get thier panties in a twist if you show up but didn't pay. Even if it's just for one stop.
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah, I could see this happening, too. </div>

kaos16

I think that my hold up is that I would like to celebrate with the bride. . . . I feel bad not going when she cared enough to invite me.  If I met them at a winery it would be the one where I work, I would get a glass or two of wine (on my own) and mingle with the group.  I do, however, think that the organizer would NOT be happy about that. 

I can always just go grab and drink and hang out with the bride a different time.

Peledreamsofrain

In Response to Re:To go or not to go:[QUOTE]I think that my hold up is that I would like to celebrate with the bride. . . . I feel bad not going when she cared enough to invite me.nbsp; If I met them at a winery it would be the one where I work, I would get a glass or two of wine on my own and mingle with the group.nbsp; I do, however, think that the organizer would NOT be happy about that.nbsp; I can always just go grab and drink and hang out with the bride a different time. Posted by kaos16[/QUOTE]

I think that's your best bet. Take her out to a casual dinner on your dime, or something else she enjoys. You'd feel even worse if the coordinator started drama with you at the winery, and 'ruined' the bachelorette party for the bride. Not saying it'd be your fault, but brides can be fragile about ppl getting along at their eventd.

kaos16

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_to-go-or-not-to-go?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a330d171-a61d-485a-971e-0ab6a38457a2Post:f063c1ed-7096-485a-8b66-836f30a24011">Re:To go or not to go</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:To go or not to go: I think that's your best bet. Take her out to a casual dinner on your dime, or something else she enjoys. You'd feel even worse if the coordinator started drama with you at the winery, and 'ruined' the bachelorette party for the bride. Not saying it'd be your fault, but brides can be fragile about ppl getting along at their eventd.
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

Great point. . . . I would feel awful if the party was "ruined" by my arrival

rachelm13

skiiiiip it.  

now i want some wine.

Vivi+Pete

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_to-go-or-not-to-go?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a330d171-a61d-485a-971e-0ab6a38457a2Post:c334097e-d56d-4a05-ad9e-32def3073d80">Re:To go or not to go</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:To go or not to go : Great point. . . . I would feel awful if the party was "ruined" by my arrival
Posted by kaos16[/QUOTE]

<div>I could see where the organizer of the party, if she's already irked, could get even more irked by your presence at the winery where you work and maybe try hitting you up for "your share" of the whole outing. Maybe in front of everyone, including the bride, if she's had enough wine. I would not go but would get together with the bride separately.</div><div>
</div><div>I didn't see the original post, but a cowgirl theme? For a winery crawl? Was there a connection that I missed because I didn't see the whole explanation?</div>

kaos16

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_to-go-or-not-to-go?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a330d171-a61d-485a-971e-0ab6a38457a2Post:c2b5d714-398d-404b-ab50-5245e0740f14">Re:To go or not to go</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:To go or not to go : I could see where the organizer of the party, if she's already irked, could get even more irked by your presence at the winery where you work and maybe try hitting you up for "your share" of the whole outing. Maybe in front of everyone, including the bride, if she's had enough wine. I would not go but would get together with the bride separately. I didn't see the original post, but a cowgirl theme? For a winery crawl? Was there a connection that I missed because I didn't see the whole explanation?
Posted by Vivi+Pete[/QUOTE]

I am unaware of any connection. . . . I think maybe she just likes themes.  I'm not sure

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_to-go-or-not-to-go?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a330d171-a61d-485a-971e-0ab6a38457a2Post:1373d979-9243-4993-9d13-a7e55c5f097f">Re: To go or not to go</a>:
[QUOTE]I think that my hold up is that I would like to celebrate with the bride. . . . I feel bad not going when she cared enough to invite me.  If I met them at a winery it would be the one where I work, I would get a glass or two of wine (on my own) and mingle with the group.  I do, however, think that the organizer would NOT be happy about that.  I can always just go grab and drink and hang out with the bride a different time.
Posted by kaos16[/QUOTE]

I agree... but you work there so I feel it's slightly different. Had you shown up at one of the wineries where you don't work, then yes, I would agree with you.

PS- LOVE Pellegrini :) <3