bridal party problem (LONG)

Kristeno2012

Ok so here it goes. I have been married once before I had my bff as my MOH because I didnt want to pick between my sisters. One of my sisters had a fit about that but again I wasnt ok picking between the two. Fast forward....I am not getting married again and my FI and I decided not to have siblings in the wedding my one sister and I always fight she found out I wasnt going to have her in the wedding and started threatening to not let me see my nephews and talking about how when no one does anything for me dont come to her crying. Mind you she has no job and has 2 babies so I wil have to pay for all of her stuff which we are already on a tight budget. My FI is close with one of his brothers but not the other and he decided the same thing not to have his in the wedding well everytime I turn around we are getting guilt trips and I feel like this is our day and it should be our choice. Are we wrong here or what? IDK what to do I feel so torn Even if I decided to change my mind and have my sisters after the way she treated me I have no desire to have her in the wedding at this point. I was discussing this with my FMIL and I could tell she was a little upset to PLEASE HELP. Any advice is welcome

NcsuPsych

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_brides-maid-dilema?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a4b7efde-88e5-4ea5-b306-c472b7e8f6fePost:22ef6e0a-54b9-4868-9b64-e84236769cc5">bridal party problem (LONG)</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok so here it goes. I have been married once before I had my bff as my MOH because I didnt want to pick between my sisters. One of my sisters had a fit about that but again I wasnt ok picking between the two. Fast forward....I am not getting married again and my FI and I decided not to have siblings in the wedding my one sister and I always fight she found out I wasnt going to have her in the wedding and started threatening to not let me see my nephews and talking about how when no one does anything for me dont come to her crying. Mind you she has no job and has 2 babies so I wil have to pay for all of her stuff which we are already on a tight budget. My FI is close with one of his brothers but not the other and he decided the same thing not to have his in the wedding well everytime I turn around we are getting guilt trips and I feel like this is our day and it should be our choice. Are we wrong here or what? IDK what to do I feel so torn :( Even if I decided to change my mind and have my sisters after the way she treated me I have no desire to have her in the wedding at this point. I was discussing this with my FMIL and I could tell she was a little upset to PLEASE HELP. Any advice is welcome
Posted by Kristeno2012[/QUOTE]

IMO, your sister, who should be acting like an adult, is pitching a temper-tantrum about not being a bridesmaid. Of all things to be upset about, this is ridiculous. Again, IMO, if I were you, I'd stick to the original plan and not allow it. If she wants to be <em>that</em> petty and not allow you to see your nephews, then that's her call, as their guardian, unfortunately. With that said, I would doubt she'll stick to that and while she'll be butt hurt for a little while, at least you wont have to deal with her on your wedding day.

What's next? Is she going to whine about your wedding ideas, colors, cake, etc? Don't give in to adults behaving like children. Others will see her for what she is.

Sorry you're going through this.

Kristeno2012

Thank you. I just wish people would be more supportive and maybe say well I can help in other ways just lmk but to be ugly about it just isnt fair. Like I said to I hate hearing that the FMIL is upset about the brothers not being in it I hope it all works its self out!

NcsuPsych

While I'm not for purposing causing issues, especially within the family, you can't make everyone happy. Has your FI explained to his family why you guys made the decision you did?

Viczaesar

If you're going to post the same thing on multiple boards, OP, please put XP in your title.

OwningAHome1981

Ultimately it is your wedding and you should have what you want and you don't have to please anyone but yourself. And you don't have to only have one MOH- so if you wanted to have all yours sisters in it, you could. That would make everyone happy.