Kinda Hurt.... Kinda pissed off

mrandmrsrobert

My family has a lot of craziness going on right now between a few family illnesses. However, (and I realize I'm probably going to get totally bitch slapped for even saying anything)......

I feel like the past few weeks when I've had to make BIG BIG BIG decisions --- nobody is around to help me make them. My fiance works during the day so he's unavailable to ask for input when these decisions need to be made, our church cancelled on us because  I missed three church services since July (our priest is a stickler on attendance even though I work every other Sunday), and my mom has her hands full..... 

Ok - so for my actual point of the story:

I found a church willing to marry us and we've gone there a few times before with some friends. We like this church and are planning on making the switch fully soon. However, I was raised Episcopalian and this new church is Methodist. My mom is pissed! She told me she is entirely disappointed that I would do such a thing.... (well.... I didn't really have a choice since our priest cancelled us now did I?) Well, with that being said and having to switch we also ended up having to  move our wedding up a week. Well...... now everyone is mad because omg, I moved our wedding up a whole 7 days! 

I'm feeling like I understand 100% that my mom has her hands full, however... I'm feeling pretty slighted. She says she doesn't have time to do things with me as far as picking things out, making calls or appointments, meetings, blah blah blah... So when I do them alone since my fiance is working during these hours she gets mad that I don't involve her. I don't know what more to do. I love my mom dearly and I do understand she's busy but I'm jealous that she isn't helping and I'm pissed that I'm getting my head bit off when she doesn't want to come with me. (it's not a time schedule issue either btw... its a matter of she doesnt want to go).

I don't know what to do, I really felt like I'd have more of my mom's help with this stuff.

*end of rant* sorry Just needed to vent. Hopefully I don't sound like a brat but I just want some help/input/advice from my mom since my fiance is pretty much leaving all the decisions up to me.

AmethystMSU

Tell your mom about your vendor appointments, ask if she wants to come. If she doesn't come, but then complains about it, remind her that you offered and she chose not to come.

Is your mom paying for the wedding? Is there any way you can just not talk wedding with her?

achiduck

Your church cancelled on you because you missed 3 services? I highly doubt I'll go to church more than 3 times before our wedding and they're still marrying us.

Maybe your mom can talk to the priest? Have you explained your work schedule?

In regards to your mom and your FI not helping, well your mom isn't required to help you plan the wedding, but your FI is. Talk to him.

maribeth721

Your FI needs to be helping. It's his wedding too! Not all vendors are only available to talk to during the day. I work until 5pm and so does my FI and we talked to vendors on our lunches and even after 5pm and on weekends. Sometimes you have to leave messages and they need to call you back, but it's doable.

My Mom passed away so unfortunately my FI and I are kind of on our own with the planning since my FMIL is so not interested. It sucks I wish I had her here to help me so bad. I would be devastated if she was here and unwilling to help me though. Basically what I'm saying is...yeah, it sucks to not have her help. sorry

StephBeanWed61502

I'm really surprised vendors are unwilling to give you appointments that allow your FI to attend, and honestly, if this were me, I wouldn't want to work with people who already proved they weren't willing to accommodate my and my FI's needs.  Personally, I've never had a vendor request a meeting during the workday - every single one of them has been willing to meet with FI and I at 6pm or later or on the weekend.  I think finding vendors who can meet with you when your FI is available to go with you would go a long way towards solving your issues with your mom.

vicki0508

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_kinda-hurt-kinda-pissed-off?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a68130af-70a0-40e5-8628-5d63362c7545Post:874e9f8f-d526-4bc2-baea-84bfd5a6a3a9">Re: Kinda Hurt.... Kinda pissed off</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm really surprised vendors are unwilling to give you appointments that allow your FI to attend, and honestly, if this were me, I wouldn't want to work with people who already proved they weren't willing to accommodate my and my FI's needs.  Personally, I've never had a vendor request a meeting during the workday - every single one of them has been willing to meet with FI and I at 6pm or later or on the weekend.  I think finding vendors who can meet with you when your FI is available to go with you would go a long way towards solving your issues with your mom.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]
The thing is, a lot of wedding vendors are busy on the weekends.  You know, with weddings.

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_kinda-hurt-kinda-pissed-off?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a68130af-70a0-40e5-8628-5d63362c7545Post:2e3bb685-7249-46d3-b4fe-c601720aa371">Re: Kinda Hurt.... Kinda pissed off</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Kinda Hurt.... Kinda pissed off : The thing is, a lot of wedding vendors are busy on the weekends.  You know, with weddings.
Posted by vicki0508[/QUOTE]

<div>I guess I'm lucky then - the vendors we've met with have been very accommodating.  (Also, I don't know if this is normal in other parts of the country, but around here, vendors of any size at all tend to have dedicated sales reps who handle initial meetings to go over prices and packages, so to the extent that we've had weekend meetings, it's been with these sales people, obviously not the actual photographers/videographers.)  And even vendors who don't have sales reps have been willing to meet with us on weekdays outside of work hours if they can't do weekends.</div>

biz717

I don't think you're being a brat! I hope things get better soon. Good luck!