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Speaking of horrible party etiquette

So, we briefly went to a super bowl party yesterday. Neither of us care about football, but figured we'd stop by. The host (who used to be a club promoter) had the outside deck set up with her DJ equipment and was playing music. In the invite she said that she would be playing music for people who don't care about football outside, and the game would be on inside.  And said we'll have all of the food, but BYOB and extra to share !!  

We brought a huge bottle of Stoli vodka ($26 bucks) a 36 pack of beer ($20ish bucks) and a 6 pack of Smirnoff Ice ($8ish bucks). When we got there, we asked where to put the liquor. They said, oh, in the back. We hired someone to do bartending, so just put it back there and she'll put it in ice and stuff.

Don't you know... that "bartender" was asking for tips! She had a big bucket out with a note that said "Tipping is sexy!" I was so irritated. I told her "We brought about $60 bucks worth of liquor. That's my tip.

How you gonna ask folks to bring their own liquor... and enough to share with other people, and then want me to pay for someone to pour it or hand me a can/bottle?  Hell to the no.

Re: Speaking of horrible party etiquette

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_speaking-of-horrible-party-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ac46b24d-ae47-4d53-a63f-c1874929ae81Post:e498141b-1778-4edb-8774-297986edfe0d">Speaking of horrible party etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]So, we briefly went to a super bowl party yesterday. Neither of us care about football, but figured we'd stop by. The host (who used to be a club promoter) had the outside deck set up with her DJ equipment and was playing music. In the invite she said that she would be playing music for people who don't care about football outside, and the game would be on inside.  And said we'll have all of the food, but BYOB and extra to share !!   We brought a huge bottle of Stoli vodka ($26 bucks) a 36 pack of beer ($20ish bucks) and a 6 pack of Smirnoff Ice ($8ish bucks). When we got there, we asked where to put the liquor. They said, oh, in the back. We hired someone to do bartending, so just put it back there and she'll put it in ice and stuff. Don't you know... that "bartender" was asking for tips! She had a big bucket out with a note that said "Tipping is sexy!" I was so irritated. I told her "We brought about $60 bucks worth of liquor. That's my tip. How you gonna ask folks to bring their own liquor... and enough to share with other people, and then want me to pay for someone to pour it or hand me a can/bottle?  Hell to the no.
    Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

    Just quoted because the formatting in your OP is off.  I have to give the "bartender" points for creativity.  I would had side eyed her too.
     
      Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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    QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
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    edited February 2013
    what the hell is wrong with that formatting?  

    ETA: I "sort of" fixed it...   I'm not sure why it's bolding and making things bigger and all in caps.  Weird.
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    BYOB and extra to share??  How about everyone just brings what they want to drink.  Why should you have to provide for others too??  Ugh.  I wouldn't have tipped either

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    Surprised






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
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    edited February 2013
    thanks Liatris !  I figured I should finally use one of my wedding photos here ... everyone else is sick of seeing them!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_speaking-of-horrible-party-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:ac46b24d-ae47-4d53-a63f-c1874929ae81Post:19395e9d-c67b-4add-8111-562a2fd49c59">Re: Speaking of horrible party etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]BYOB and extra to share??  How about everyone just brings what they want to drink.  <strong>Why should you have to provide for others too??</strong>  Ugh.  I wouldn't have tipped either
    Posted by kje_[/QUOTE]

    Sounds like the leftovers are for the host.  I think we've found a way around flat out charging admission to come to a party.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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    You should've put some of the booze back in your car and took it home.  :D
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    QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited February 2013
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_speaking-of-horrible-party-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:ac46b24d-ae47-4d53-a63f-c1874929ae81Post:ff5db78e-a898-4e5d-8d42-c07c650564c5">Re: Speaking of horrible party etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]You should've put some of the booze back in your car and took it home.  :D
    Posted by JoanE2012[/QUOTE]

    I actually considered going and taking what I brought out of the ice chest, but I figured that would be just as rude as what she was doing.

    The "bartender" actually MENTIONED the tip jar when we went to get a drink.  We told her that we brought 60 bucks worth of liquor and that was our tip.

    Then, my friend who came with us (and also brought her own liquor) went to get a drink, and the person tending bar only gave her about 1/3 of a shot in her vodka/cranberry.  She said "well, we are trying to stretch it to go further".   My friend said "um, I brought that bottle. Pour me a real drink". 

    We only stayed about 40 minutes and when we were leaving, the "host" said "Oh,,, you are leaving already!.. you should stay !!  we have plenty of food and drinks left!"  I said "yeah, there is plenty leftover, cuz we brought it. Feel free to serve it to your other guests, maybe they will tip your bartender". 

    At that point, I was just irritated.  I didn't want to be super rude and TAKE the liquor, but I was willing to be rude enough to make it clear how friggin horrible that whole thing was.</div>
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_speaking-of-horrible-party-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ac46b24d-ae47-4d53-a63f-c1874929ae81Post:f6ed436d-935f-427c-8ef8-fcf243373427">Re: Speaking of horrible party etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Speaking of horrible party etiquette : Sounds like the leftovers are for the host.  I think we've found a way around flat out charging admission to come to a party.
    Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

    <div>We always have so many leftovers from people bringing their own.  We keep throwing parties to get rid of our excess liquor and end up with more at the end cos of the 1-2 leftovers from others!!  Usually I leave my extras too, but with this, I would have carted out whatever I didn't drink.  There's a big difference between a few extra beers and $50+ of booze.  </div>

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    I'm shocked on how some people host these days.     

    Let me tell you, if you are every in Indy I would have your favorite drink waiting, no charge or tipping required.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    Wow.  I will say that by me it's common courtesy to BYOB and to leave the leftover.  It just sorta gets added to the communal drinks.  But it's not like you show up to a party and they host doesn't have anything and I've never heard of having a bartender!  And you brought A LOT!  Usually it's like a 6 pack/person.
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    Why the need for a bartender at a Super Bowl party?  The fact that they hired a "bartender" for this kind of party just blew my mind.

    In our group when we have parties it is always BYOB and everyone tends to share when they are at the party but when someone decides to leave they take what they brought.  They bought it so it is theirs.  If they wish to share it with others while at the party that is up to them but whatever is leftover is theirs for the taking.  But with many of our parties there usually isn't anything left to take LOL!

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    Every party H and I go to, we bring our own drinks but we buy plenty to share.

    If somebody asked me to bring drinks for me and the rest of the guests plus tip a bartender, I'd be just as irritated.
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    QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited February 2013
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_speaking-of-horrible-party-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:ac46b24d-ae47-4d53-a63f-c1874929ae81Post:59b78886-8357-4263-ab39-63da8e63bd48">Re: Speaking of horrible party etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Why the need for a bartender at a Super Bowl party</strong>?  The fact that they hired a "bartender" for this kind of party just blew my mind. In our group when we have parties it is always BYOB and everyone tends to share when they are at the party but when someone decides to leave they take what they brought.  They bought it so it is theirs.  If they wish to share it with others while at the party that is up to them but whatever is leftover is theirs for the taking.  But with many of our parties there usually isn't anything left to take LOL!
    Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

    I think they were trying to make it more "club like".  Like, ohhh, come to happy hour and we'll have a fancy scantilly clad bartender and a DJ outside, but you can go watch the game inside.  This person used to be a club promoter, so I'm guessing that's where she went horribly astray thinking asking us to bring our own liquor AND tipping someone was even remotely ok.</div>
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