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Thanks for the responses on marrying your first love!

Re: Thanks!

  • I am marrying my first boyfriend.  After a loooong hiatus (7 years) and many failed relationships with other people we found one another again and fell back in love.  When we were young, it just wasn't the right time.  We both had career goals and ambitions that took us our seperate ways, but here we getting married almost 10 years after we feel in the love the first time.  It's easy to say, I wish I knew then what I know now.  But I firmly believe it wasn't the right time for us back then.  The different paths we chose and the other relationships we had helped to make us each who we are today.  And now that we've been back together for almost 4 years, we're getting married and looking forward to spending the rest of our lives together. 

    Having said that, I think that getting married is a huge step, and you are right to sort through your feelings before taking that step.  I would focus less on what # boyfriend he is and more on the  relationship you have now and want when you are married and decide if the two of you together fit that description. 
  • I married my ninth. I don't think there's anyway to actually KNOW. Some people swear up and down that their S/O is THE ONE and then they're getting divorced. It's all a feeling and you have to trust yourself. Can you see yourself with this person forever? Do they make you feel good? Can you laugh with them? Can you imagine growing old with them?
    Sunbonnet or cone of shame? You be the judge! Trixie's Blog
    My Planning Bio
    My Married Bio updated March 4
  • If it's forever, it's forever, and it doesn't matter if you do the paperwork tomorrow or in ten years.  I'd wait it out.  One of my BMs married her first or second boyfriend (I think it was first), after they'd been together for eight years and lived together for nearly two of those.  You don't necessarily have to date around, but I think you should at least wait until you're both out of college and have decided what you want to do with your lives; by then, you'll have a better idea of if those paths converge.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • First of all, if the thought of needing to date around while the other guy waits for you is in your mind, then it doesn't seem like you're ready to commit to a marriage with this guy.

    That being said, of course it's possible for "the one" to be your first boyfriend. My fiance was my first relationship (sure, I'd been on dates, but nothing I ever considered serious) and after 3 years, we're getting married. I was 20 when we met, he was 27, so obviously I wasn't his first girlfriend, but I knew from the first date that we were compatible.

    But knowing if you want to marry someone doesn't happen right away, and people who get engaged after a few months or married in a year are just stupid in my opinion. So wait it out, see how you feel later down the line. When you know, you know, and you don't feel the need to date around.
  • I married my second.

    I was actually engaged to my first for a very very brief period We were together for 3 years and broke up for good about 2 weeks after the ring was on my finger. But that whole relationship was toxic and honestly in my heart I knew if I married him that it wouldn't last ... and that it wouldn't last long.

    And when DH and I got together, we dated for a little over 2 years before we got engaged. The first year we were together, it never dawned on me that we'd get married (We had a very odd and rocky start, a lot of which attributed to problems I had in my previous relationship). It was actually only a little while before the engagement that I seriously thought about marriage "some day". I was finally secure with myself and the relationship, and I really couldn't imagine that there was anybody else more perfect for me.

    I guess what finally told me he was The One, was we started house hunting ... and it didn't scare the crap out of me. Up until DH, the thought of marriage and "growing up" and all that stuff just terrified me, because I hate big changes. But when the big changes started happening and I saw that not only was I not petrified, but it felt like such a "natural" thing for me to do, I knew I was with the right one.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.

    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • Marriage is a big decision.  It's not just living together and playing house... it's so much more than that.  You have to be willing to be in the other person's corner forever, even and, probably most especially, when it's hard.

    I'm marrying my first serious boyfriend.  We started dating in college and were far too serious for our years.  We broke up around 23 and went our separate ways.  I, too, was hounded by the feeling "There's more out there and I want to date around before I marry this guy" before we broke up.  Then I got my chance and I think it was the BEST thing that could have happened to us.

    We got back together around 26 and those feelings have never returned.  I love my fiance (more every day, which I find an interesting phenomenom) and I'm confidant that he can be what I need and I can be what he needs.  I was nervous as all hell to get engaged, but when he proposed, it was the most simple answer in the world.  I am totally at ease with where my life is going. 
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