The "downside" to working from home....

Chipmunk415

Hi All,

Been a while since I posted. Unfortunately, with a week to go before Christmas, I caught a head cold. I've apparently gotten it from my boss (who's out sick today) who got it from his daughters (I forgive them, they are adorable!)

I was point blank asked by coworkers if I could take my work home and work remotely so I don't get anyone else sick before the holiday weekend.(I've been good about keeping to myself, washing hands, sanatizing, etc), so I brought stuff home to work on.

The downside: my fiancee to be and I adopted his late Aunt's 2 kitties. We picked them up this past weekend and they are adjusting really well to the new place. Mops (short for Mopsey) however, has realized that we will actually pay attention to him! (Their mommy had a very long, difficult illness and could not give them much affection in her final months, and their adult human sibs basically ignored them while getting the house ready to go on the market). Mops will come right up to me meowing for head and chin scratches and petting. If he feels he needs more, he does not hesitate to tap/pat my arm, leg, or hand for more, while vocally protesting the lack of attention. It's adorable, and it's great he's bonding with me, but it makes it hard to get my work done!

At least it prevents him from meowing at the door to the master bedroom (the cats have a whole room for them, we'd like to keep our sleeping area seperate), since Fiancee to be works nights and needs to sleep during the day!

Chipmunk415

Sorry it offended you. Incidentally, the adult children used to joke about their mother's furry kids and their adopted "sibs". They were simply busy getting things in order after her death and couldn't take them later. Both of these cousins have called thanking us for ensuring the cats received a good, loving home. The point of the post was to provide some light hearted smiles and enjoyment for the day.

mcda04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_the-downside-to-working-from-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b1307d3c-75cb-44b6-a052-78a0df0f40d4Post:19b3ccc9-fc52-42c5-bb1e-d80fd5682a26">Re: The "downside" to working from home....</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry it offended you. Incidentally, the adult children used to joke about their mother's furry kids and their adopted "sibs". They were simply busy getting things in order after her death and couldn't take them later. Both of these cousins have called thanking us for ensuring the cats received a good, loving home. The point of the post was to provide some light hearted smiles and enjoyment for the day.
Posted by Chipmunk415[/QUOTE]

Haha, cute story. Thank you.

BTW, I also refer to my dogs as my babies and my kids are their brothers / sisters. H and I had their first and only litter a few years ago and they were my grandbabies so I get the attachment to pets. They actually ARE a part of our family, I couldn't picture our family life without them. It'll be hard when we lose them but my oldest dog just turned 4 last month so hopefully we have him for many more years to come.

mcda04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_the-downside-to-working-from-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b1307d3c-75cb-44b6-a052-78a0df0f40d4Post:a72b8456-c1ee-47eb-9611-58bb942e4c88">Re: The "downside" to working from home....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The "downside" to working from home.... : I hope you're saving for your kids' therapy. I never said pets weren't a part of the family.  I said I'd be upset if my parents had treated our cat as if she were just as important as me or my siblings.  I'm sorry but when it comes down to it if my parents had to choose between the cat and me or my siblings it would have been me and my siblings that came out on top.  Every time.  <strong>Any parent that doesn't feel that way has no right having children</strong>.  And if you do place your children above your pets as you should when you're a parent then you wouldn't act as if the cat is a sibling to your child. And this is coming from a cat owner.  I love my cat but I recognize that he's not as important as my children would be and he DOES have a different mother and father- of a completely different species.  Trust if I siht that thing out of my vag there are some serious issues up in my ute.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

Oh I KNOW they'll probably need help after they pass, I know i took it pretty hard when my pet died after I grew up around him.

I never said they're MORE important than my children but I do teach them they're lovable creatures and should be treated as part of the family.

My post was too short for you to come up with these conclusions. My pets are treated like pets but they are also part of my family. They have rules to follow, fully house broken, but sleep on their own. They are fed, washed, taken to the Dr. when needed, and nurtured, I wouldn't call myself a bad parent but a responsible pet owner. 

Chipmunk415

I have also not claimed the cats were put above the human children in terms of affection. To provide further clarification, this aunt was in her early 70s. The kids are all at least 40 yrs old (there are grandkids in their teens) and have all been self sufficient and self supporting for quite some time. The aunt decided some years ago to adopt two cats from a shelter and give them the best home possible. The human vs. furry sibling comment is a joke that the aunt and the cousins propogated themselves. There has never been an implication that the kids were worth less than the cats- the cats are considered part of the family.

Here's hoping this clairifcation clears the air and concern over what was meant to be a lighthearted post.

jlm9113

Chipmunk, they sound adorable!   Pictures?

mcda04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_the-downside-to-working-from-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b1307d3c-75cb-44b6-a052-78a0df0f40d4Post:cedda5d2-b141-4613-b8fa-869fb28e1e62">Re: The "downside" to working from home....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The "downside" to working from home.... : <strong>You need to step back and stop getting so defensive</strong>.  I reached no conclusions about you or your ability to parent.  The debate had NOTHING to do with YOU.  <strong>The debate is whether or not pets are on equal footing with and are considered siblings to actual human children</strong>. <strong> If you think they are that's a problem especially if you have real human children.</strong>
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]
How was my post defensive? You attacked me by saying that ANY parent that thinks pets are siblings to humans are wrong. You cannot say I'm defensive when you can't read my tone of voice, I was not defensive, I was trying to explain my point of view.

Of course they're not REAL siblings but they CAN be loved as such.  They are loved in two completely different ways. Being treated like family doesn't mean they're put above human children.

mcda04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_the-downside-to-working-from-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b1307d3c-75cb-44b6-a052-78a0df0f40d4Post:19a2391a-9dbf-493b-8aee-0a912373239b">Re: The "downside" to working from home....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The "downside" to working from home.... : Oh so you do treat your pets and children this way?  That explains your defensiveness. Yeah I'm judging you.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]
Yes I said it in my first post. I have a total of 4 babies. Two human and two animals.

You know, maybe I am defensive; I cannot be called a bad parent because i love pets. It doesn't mean I'll choose my dogs over my own children but my dogs are also an important part of my life.

Linger do you have Children?

Maggie0829

This thread has gone haywire, so I figure I may as well jump in with my thoughts. 

H and I have a dog.  She is a yellow lab and her name is Gracie.  I love her with all my heart.  H and I think of her as our "child".  She has been the best addition to our family.  Coming home to an animal who loves you unconditionally just melts my heart and relieves all my stress.  I tell my Mom often that I didn't realize that I could love something so much.  Trust me, I love H, but there is something different about loving an animal that relies solely on you to survive.  My Mom, who is a dog lover and former dog owner herself, knows how it feels but she is also a Mother and knows that nothing, nothing, can compare to what you feel for your child.

I am not dumb, I know that if I do ever have a child that the child will always come first and that the love I have for my dog will not diminish but the love I have for my child will trump it.  But will I continue to sign my Christmas cards "Love Me, H and Gracie"?  Hell yes.  She is a part of our family and will be until the day she leaves us and even then we will still consider her a member of our family.  Will we most likely put her in a shirt that says "I am going to be a big sister!" if we do have a child?  Probably, but we are silly like that.

Family pets, to many, are just as important as the rest of the family members.  This isn't saying that they are treated equally because I don't think I will be buying my pup a car or giving her a phone any time soon, but as far as importance and level of love my pup will be pretty much right up there with the love and importance of my child.

I understand that people have different feelings on how pets should be perceived in a family and as long as the pet is loved and taken care of then it doesn't matter to me where you put them on the level of importance scale.  The only time an issue arises is when the pet is taken care of better then the child, then that is where the parents really need to re-evaluate their priorities and realize that one "child" is not superior to another.

mcda04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_the-downside-to-working-from-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b1307d3c-75cb-44b6-a052-78a0df0f40d4Post:55f70c5c-e816-487a-b1d1-264023805165">Re: The "downside" to working from home....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The "downside" to working from home.... : Critical thinking is obviously not your strong suit.  I'll let you read everything again and figure out the answer to this question on your own. <strong>You can be called a bad parent for anything anyone wants to call you a bad parent for.  If this didn't hit you as at least somewhat true in your case you wouldn't feel the need to defend yourself so vehemently</strong>.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

Haha. I want to be just like you. You know so much about people simply from reading their posts.

I completely skipped that line, sorry I was too riled up from the previous line I commented on, I didn't bother with the rest of it.

Look Linger, to each their own. I have said numerous time that my children come above my pets at all times but since my pets age is between my kids age, they just grew up seeing them as family, it started as a joke to say it's brother DJ, since I call him my baby. Nothing out of the ordinary. If your cat isn't your baby then that explains the judgement.

Lalilala

Wow what a discussion for something funny! 

I know your feel, I also do lots of work at home and it can get crazy with my cat (and yes, I call him my baby and sometimes I joke about how hard is being a mother).

I work with models of rooms and she just loves to step inside and put her paws throug the doors. She is so cute and annoying at the same time!

You would get used to it and yo would learn how to keep them entertained to do some work

Chipmunk415

jlm, I'm trying to get some photos up, but my camera and computer are not cooperating. (That will probably start another discussion for this thread). Until I get it working...

Mops is a brown striped tabby with white paws and very well functioning vocal cords!

His "sister", Squirt, is a tuxedo mix who purrs like a tractor when you scratch her head and under the chin.


CMGr, we're considering letting them in our bedroom, but we've only had them for 2 days. Want to let them get settled in and get to know their personalities before letting them sleep in the bed. We have taken to cuddling with them on the couch/futon in the interim.

Chipmunk415

I understand, Stage, however in this instance the children themselves would call their mom and jokingly ask "how's my brother, Mopsey?" or "What's my fur-sister Squirt" up to? They were in on it and no awkwardness was to be had.

I feel my lighthearted post has been blown out of proportion in a direction I never meant it to go in. I'm sorry to cause such controversy.

lovefuzzies

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_the-downside-to-working-from-home?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b1307d3c-75cb-44b6-a052-78a0df0f40d4Post:89910ae8-68d1-46ea-bc04-ce01885d467c">Re: The "downside" to working from home....</a>:
[QUOTE]This thread has gone haywire, so I figure I may as well jump in with my thoughts.  H and I have a dog.  She is a yellow lab and her name is Gracie.  I love her with all my heart.  H and I think of her as our "child".  She has been the best addition to our family.  Coming home to an animal who loves you unconditionally just melts my heart and relieves all my stress.  I tell my Mom often that I didn't realize that I could love something so much.  Trust me, I love H, but there is something different about loving an animal that relies solely on you to survive.  My Mom, who is a dog lover and former dog owner herself, knows how it feels but she is also a Mother and knows that nothing, nothing, can compare to what you feel for your child. I am not dumb, I know that if I do ever have a child that the child will always come first and that the love I have for my dog will not diminish but the love I have for my child will trump it.  But will I continue to sign my Christmas cards "Love Me, H and Gracie"?  Hell yes.  She is a part of our family and will be until the day she leaves us and even then we will still consider her a member of our family.  Will we most likely put her in a shirt that says "I am going to be a big sister!" if we do have a child?  Probably, but we are silly like that. Family pets, to many, are just as important as the rest of the family members.  This isn't saying that they are treated equally because I don't think I will be buying my pup a car or giving her a phone any time soon, but as far as importance and level of love my pup will be pretty much right up there with the love and importance of my child. I understand that people have different feelings on how pets should be perceived in a family and as long as the pet is loved and taken care of then it doesn't matter to me where you put them on the level of importance scale.  The only time an issue arises is when the pet is taken care of better then the child, then that is where the parents really need to re-evaluate their priorities and realize that one "child" is not superior to another.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

I'll play.  I agree with Maggie.  I have pets and have always had pets.  My parents referred to our pets as siblings to my brother and I but we never doubted for a second that we took precedence over the pets.  I have a son and have referred to him as a sibling of our pets.  He laughs and joins in the joke.  There's never any doubt there who takes precedence either.  IMHO it's a little silly to get bent over whether you're referred to as the sibling of an animal when the reference is an animal that's quite obviously loved but that's just my opinion.

And Maggie, I think the big sister shirt idea would make for a darling baby announcement!

Summer2011Bride

Yeah I have absolutely no problems with children WANTING to refer to a pet as a sibling. It's not like the parents are insisting, "The cat is your sister!!1!!1" and the children aren't having it at all. That is a different situation entirely, and yes, that would be odd. But I see this no different as a pet owner referring to themselves as Mom or Dad to the animals, which seems like it's OK with the posters here who are against the sibling thing, and I frankly don't see how that's any different. So there's that.

H and I probably won't have children and when we get a dog (within the next few weeks actually) it will be part of our family and I'll think of it as my "baby." Growing up we had a family dog I was so attached to and jokingly called her my sister. I turned out OK and am not traumatized by it. I sometimes think people just like to get up in arms over nothing.

Sharpschruter22

IMO, Linger just wanted to cause drama. OP, there's no reason for you to apologize about anything. I am a cat parent and really enjoyed your post. I would love to see pictures of all of your cats. Anyone? I'm on my phone and can't post a pic, but besides FI and family, my Graycie cat is my world. I have wanted a cat my entire life and could never have one because my dad is allergic. After I moved out of my parents house, I was never able to live in a place accepting pets. When I was watering the flowers on my deck one afternoon, a gray kitten came running in the open deck door and crying up at me. There was a big tom cat chasing her and I shooed him away. I sat down with the cat and she immediately jumped in my lap, head bumped me and started licking my face and cuddling. All evening she napped and cuddled with me and that night she slept all night in the crook of my arm tucked in with blankets. I was a goner. FI could tell how much I loved this cat and he found her a home until we get married and are able to have her back. I can't wait!