His single (obnoxious) friends

BethMarie63

So - my fiance and I have been together for over two years and have been engaged since August.  A few of his single friends give him crap all the time about us spending so much time together, and they often question why he does things for me.  They crack jokes all the time in baby voices and when I call him I can hear them all in the background making kissy sounds and giving my fiance crap.  When they first started doing it, my fiance and I thought it was funny and we would laugh about it, but it's gotten to the point where I feel like they just don't have any respect for us or our relationship.  It's very frustrating and makes it awkward for me because I feel like they have something against me.  Any advice on what I should do?

SarahPLiz

You should do nothing. Your fiance should stand up for himself, for you and for your relationship, or get new friends. Period.

ETA: You doing anything about it will induce more teasing, as he will be hiding behind his wife. This is a general sign of weakness to immature males, and will only serve to make the teasing worse.

CA2MT4EveR

Be careful using your names in your signature. 

I am sorry for their immaturity.  They seem to be jealous they are "losing" their friend.  I wish I had some kind of option for you, but the only thing I can think of is asking your FI to stand up to his friends and tell them "hey, this is the woman I love, the woman I am going to marry.  I still want to be all of your friends, but I do not appreciate when you make fun of us".  If he can't do that, then IDK

[Deleted User]

You don't do anything, because as another person said, that will make it worse since it will seem like your FI is hiding behind you. And you're right, they don't respect you or your relationship, but why would they? They're immature and don't give a damn. So, it's up to your FI to make things change. Honestly, letting the friends get away with being douchbags is just as immature as the crappy friends making kissy noises, because it means he's not sticking up for you.

When FI and I first got together, one of his roommate's friends made comments about me that were somewhat sexual in nature (i.e. 'dude, you mind if I have 5 minutes alone with your girl?'). FI brushed it off at first as 'guys being guys' until I told him that he would never see me at his place again unless the issue was addressed. Sure enough, the next time the guy said something (something along the lines of what went on in the bedroom) he was put in his place. I don't know what was said, but the guy barely looked at me for like a year afterwards.

So, make your FI stand up for you and your relationship. If you want his friends to respect your relationship, then HE has to do something, not you.

CaptiolBride

it's not your battle. Your FI obviously makes them feel comfortable enough to do this. Or maybe he isn't bothered by it.  He can tell them to stop but they are adults can we can't control human beings.  I am sorry this is bothering you so much... but they are still children mentally.  What do we do when children annoy us? Ignore them.

MandyP86

I was faced with the same problem, it was absolutley ridiculous. At first my FI couldn't see my point, he was constantly making excuses for them or blowing off what I would say. This went on for quite a while until one day I sat him down at was like look.. There is no reason what-so-ever your "friends" need to act this way, I simply told him if they were true friends they would be happy for him and keep their comments to themselves. He eventually started seeing how they were acting was very uneccessary (even at time ignorant) and he started standing up to them, now I'm sure not every guy out there would actually stand up to his buddies.. My advice is have a heart to heart with your FI and let him understand how their immature behavior is really affecting you, he'll see it's bothersome and I'm sure he'll do all he can to put a stop to it! Good luck! :-)

Jackal-Chizstar

I agree with SarahPLiz. How old are his friend? 15. They are acting very immature and if your fiance isn't  about to man up enough to tell them to knock it off, then he isn't ready to get married. If he does stand up to them and they still carry on, well then he needs better friends.

evabee

I replied on the other wall you posted this question, but I am going to say again, PLEASE don't do anything AND don't tell him that his friends are not "true friends" if they tease him about these things. That may be true about some men and women, but for the most part, teasing between adults is for humor not for hurt. 

Saying that "true friends wouldn't do blah blah blah" is not fair to him or them. Let him make those decisions on his own. Maybe a real friend to you wouldn't do that but you can't say that it's a rule across the board. Also, it has nothing to do with them being happy for him or not. Some people, especially men and their close buddies, are sad when they "lose" their friend, and the only way they feel comfortable reacting is with humor and derision. Let it go!

Jackal-Chizstar

IDIOT!

BethMarie63

My fiance and I were both pretty fed up with it. And he did actually speak with them yesterday without me even having to say anything to him.  Surprisingly they actually took to heart what he said to them.

And his friends are immature 28-29 year olds for the record. 

526SadieSadie

SO glad to hear he stood up for himself (and you)!!!

bbyckes

Listen to Sarah.  That was good advice.

Jackal-Chizstar

AWESOMENESS hun,i'm so glad things worked out