new last name...

ccerrato15

Is anybody having some emotionality to "giving up their last name?" After all I have had mine for 28 years and I am so proud of my family and our history. I am looking forward to getting married and starting a new family together, but I can't help but get emotional that I will no longer have my last name...

waltzingmatilda13

Not really. I always knew that I would take my husband's last name. I chose to keep my middle name, but if you're attached to your maiden name you could drop your middle name, make your maiden name your middle and take you H's last.

Ex: If you are now Jane Ann Doe and marry Mr. Smith you could be Jane Doe Smith.

Or you could have 2 middle names: Jane Ann Doe Smith.

That way you don't have to say goodbye to your maiden name.

jmkes

My last name is hard for people to figure out because it's similar to a popular last name, but isn't spelled exactly the same.  For 33 years I've had to correct people, or assure them that I indeed know how to spell my own name.  My poor SIL has to deal with it for the rest of her life.  I CAN'T WAIT to become Mrs. S.!!! 

loop0406

I like my last name but I'm more than thrilled to take on his last name. not because of the actual name/spelling, etc but because of the meaning behind taking someone's last name (marriage, unity)..

ccerrato15

Maybe I'm having a hard time with the independence issue? I'm not quite sure... In the business I am in, everyone knows me by my last name and I have done so much to build up my name. It will be hard starting from scratch. yikes.

AdeleDazeem

...and this is why I'm not legally changing my name.

jenellsrevenge

Nope...I'm just not looking forward to figuring out how I will now scribble my new last name. My old one was easy...a letter a few loops and I was done.

[Deleted User]

I always knew I would take H last name. My last name is so common that I was glad to get rid of it. Plus, I was always at the top of the alphabet as a kid and now our children will be somewhere in the middle.

I do agree it is hard signing the new name, I am still trying to get used to it. I goofed up the other day at the store and had to clear it out and re-do it. My old last name was really short, only 5 letters and new last name is a bit longer. Plus I had this cute & quick little shorthand that I used to sign my old name and now I can't do it anymore.

tamires90

I am actually also very attached to my last. I'm dropping my middle name and making my last name middle and his last

jessienjeremy

My last name is so hard to spell and no one can ever saw it or get the spelling right I dont even say it anymoer when asked.. I just start spelling.. H.. U.. LOL... I can't wait to take on a easy last name.. plus my FI and I will have the same initials.. JP

SuMmErKuTiE

I always knew I'd take my husband's name when I got married. I love being associated as a social and family unit. I don't understand holding on to your father's name, yes it was yours for a long time, but I'd rather have my husband's name than my fathers name. Plus when we have kids I want us all to have the same name. I may sound old fashioned, but that's how I feel. I just changed my name a few weeks ago, and it takes some getting used to, but I love it and am proud to be "Mrs. DH"

gottahavashorti

Yes.  I'd always planned on changing my name but realized I was attached to it.  Particularly after learning that the only male in my family from my grandfather's generation on with the last name besides my father had a name change after his mother remarried.  In other words, my sister and I were the last in our branch of the family to have that surname.

However, I was also attached to my middle name and having 4 names would have been ridiculously long for me.  I want our entire family to have the same surname if we have children though, and that was important enough to me to decide to change my name to First Middle Married.

I did keep my personal e-mail address with my maiden name and if we have any sons the first son will be First Maiden Married since it woudln't work well for a girl.

JenO24

I'd always known that I would take my H last name, but after my Dad passed away almost 9 years ago my current last name meant more to me.  I'm an only child and no other boys (like cousins) to carry on the name...yes I know when I have kids they won't have my current last name, but doesn't mean I'm not allowed to want to hold onto my current last name.  My FI says I don't have to change my last name if I dont want to, but part of me is still torn.

I think a happy compromise, at least for us, is for me to just tack on his last name becoming First Middle Maiden NewName.

M&R7111

I always knew that I would keep my last name.  Everyone seems to have a problem with that decision, though.  I don't care, though.  I will be keeping my last name.

I also refuse to drop middle names and all that jazz.  FI doesn't have to change a damn thing about his identity, why must I?

I think the tradition is too antiquated.

ccerrato15

thanks for all the feedback ladies.

ccerrato15

I guess to each their own, depending on our different life paths

KyKel85

I am very excited to take on FI's last name. My last name is very often mispronounced and let's just say....the wrong way to say my last name can be very vulgar!! I am tired of having people say "your last name is WHAT?"

Sadly, once I am married our last name dies. My dad's brother had no children, and my dad had 3 girls. So I am sad to lose that family name in a sense and my first and last name are a double K. Which I love the KK sound!

Luckily, FI's last name is a hard C sound, so it'll still sound as though I am a KK! :-)

I think to each his own, no judgement should be passed on how each couple handles the name change!

SuMmErKuTiE

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_new-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b73c9c8c-4d76-4f89-bb20-a560e79f5d00Post:8296f476-75cb-484c-85d3-d56dcd1241f1">Re: new last name...</a>:
[QUOTE]I am very excited to take on FI's last name. My last name is very often mispronounced and let's just say....the wrong way to say my last name can be very vulgar!! I am tired of having people say "your last name is WHAT?" Sadly, once I am married our last name dies. My dad's brother had no children, and my dad had 3 girls. So I am sad to lose that family name in a sense and my first and last name are a double K. Which I love the KK sound! Luckily, FI's last name is a hard C sound, so it'll still sound as though I am a KK! :-) I think to each his own, no judgement should be passed on how each couple handles the name change!
Posted by KyKel85[/QUOTE]


Haha it can't be worse than Gaylord Focker.. love that movie! :0)

KyKel85

hahaha!! No quite as bad as Gaylord Focker!! Hilarious movie!!!

JenO24

Gaylord Focker is exactly what I thought of reading your post KyKel!

meisia316

It IS tough! I'll be 30 years old when I'm married next year, and I'm taking my FI's name. I'm slowly acclimating myself by practicing my new signature (he's totally busted me doing that) even if it's....maybe bad luck??

 I think what's going to be especially hard is that his last name starts with a "Z" and my current name starts with an "H" so...I'm moving way to the bottom of the alphabet. I don't know why I find that hard to deal with!!!

Feel your pain sister!!

NillaWafer10

It's definitely not mandatory to change your name.  Would it be terrible not to?

HisCB

yes, it is emotional to me, because i have had mine for 27 years, and i am very close to my family. but i remind myself that my mom has my stepdads name, as does my kid sister. and 2 of my aunts. so i know that a name doesnt glue a family.
before i fell in love with my fi, i was getting to the point in my life where i thought i would have a child myself, and give him/her my name also.

but it was VERY important to my fi that me and our kids have his last name. there is no one else to pass on the family name but him. his 2 cousins (both male) are not planning on having kids (one cant and doesnt want to adopt or anything, the other just doesnt want to) and my fi is an only child. so its important to him and his dad too.

jennifer0124

I was on board with changing my last name to my husbands and even took the day off after the weding to take care of it.  Once I started getting my new stuff in the mail it was a little sad when I was replacing my old cards with my new ones.  I'm over it now but it was hard for a week or so.

RebeccaB88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_new-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:b73c9c8c-4d76-4f89-bb20-a560e79f5d00Post:d3306e32-377f-4482-b792-62903a91dbf0">Re: new last name...</a>:
[QUOTE]I always knew that I would keep my last name.  Everyone seems to have a problem with that decision, though.  I don't care, though.  I will be keeping my last name. I also refuse to drop middle names and all that jazz.  FI doesn't have to change a damn thing about his identity, why must I? I think the tradition is too antiquated.
Posted by M&R7111[/QUOTE]

Ditto everything said above. 

The tradition dates back to when women were legally considered the property of their husbands, and thus had no rights whatsoever.  Terribly antiquated.  As stated above, if he doesn't have to change anything, why should I?  Fortunately FI agrees with me completely.  If he'd insisted I change my name I wouldn't have married him.  (Yes, I feel that strongly about it.) 

breezerb

I am  torn.  Although I know I will take my husband's name, it will be hard.  I am the last one in my generation to get married out of my family of all girls (and I'm talking 7 first cousins) so the name essentially "dies" with me.  My dad is a very proud Scot so I know it will be hard for him too.  I don't really have a choice of using it as a childs name or hyphenating it because it's clearly a last name (and a semi-difficult one at that).. Plus my current name just flows so well (my initials are BB and it just goes so well together) and my name doesn't sound the best with my SO's. 

randiekay215

I am also very fond of my last name. My family is well known in our community, even our STATE so its hard for me to give that up. Im proud of my family and our history in the area so its difficult for me to think about giving it up. Also, my job is a huge factor too. Im known as "such and such" at work (in my town and all over the country!) and if I change my name it will just cause quite a stir as far as my identity (very important at my job) goes. I was really contemplating hyphening my current and future last names but I thought FI may be offended by that. Guess its something we need to chat about.

sg1kitten

It's everyone's own personal decision, and I honestly think that you should talk to your fiance/family/and close friends about it, as since they are the closest people in your life, and they can give you more guidance than complete strangers (don't get me wrong, I love giving my opinion and reading feedbacks).

I personally am taking his name (he is of canadian decent), but i want to name our son (if we should be blessed with one) my maiden name as his middle name (as it is a male name) . I'm thrilled at the idea of creating one family when i take his name, and I understnad it will be hard getting stuff in the mail with my new name. And even harder at work, as I am in a military enviroment (i'm not military anymore, but since I was/am prior service, and still work in my last department, I still get called by my last name.) But I think eventually I'll get used. 

I hope what everyone has written here has helped, and just so you know, i enjoyed reading everyone's different views:)

BrittKnight

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_new-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:b73c9c8c-4d76-4f89-bb20-a560e79f5d00Post:d37946e2-1182-4135-8f62-65e40cf49f0a">Re: new last name...</a>:
[QUOTE]I like my last name but I'm more than thrilled to take on his last name. not because of the actual name/spelling, etc but because of the meaning behind taking someone's last name (marriage, unity)..
Posted by loop0406[/QUOTE]

Traditionally it meant the man owned you....I realize it's different now, of course. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-surprised.gif" border="0" alt="Surprised" title="Surprised" />