mother of the bride dress

JADE989

I'm not sure but does anyone know if a Mother of the Bride is supposed to wear a certain color and the Grooms mother another???? Help

GoodLuckBear14

The moms get to wear whatever they want.

misshart00

In Response to Re:mother of the bride dress:[QUOTE]The moms get to wear whatever they want. Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

This. Whatever makes them feel most comfortable.

AJuliaNJ

I think it's up to you whether you want them to coordinate in some way or avoid wearing the same color. My mom said that the MOB gets to pick her dress first and then the MOG has to stay away from that color and style, but no way was I going to tell my MIL, who very generously contributed to our wedding, that she was going to be second to my mom. She is not a second class citizen because she happened to give birth to a male. Also, I do not want to dictate what anyone wears to my wedding. It worked out because they have such different styles that I never had to have a, "no, I'm not telling MIL to wait until you buy a dress," conversation with my mom, or a "my mom would prefer you wait to buy your dress," conversation with MIL. For all my mom knows, I followed her silly demand.

If this is important to you, I suggest that the mothers have a conversation where they talk about what they are planning to wear and work something out that feels good to both of them. My mother was crazy to think that someone should wait for her to pick her dress first.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_mother-of-the-bride-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:bcfa2dce-e7ad-4cdc-aa0a-e563ef076652Post:31c807a5-c9b9-4aee-8ebb-42ed9cee80b1">Re: mother of the bride dress</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I think it's up to you whether you want them to coordinate in some way or avoid wearing the same color.</strong> My mom said that the MOB gets to pick her dress first and then the MOG has to stay away from that color and style, but no way was I going to tell my MIL, who very generously contributed to our wedding, that she was going to be second to my mom. She is not a second class citizen because she happened to give birth to a male. Also, I do not want to dictate what anyone wears to my wedding. It worked out because they have such different styles that I never had to have a, "no, I'm not telling MIL to wait until you buy a dress," conversation with my mom, or a "my mom would prefer you wait to buy your dress," conversation with MIL. For all my mom knows, I followed her silly demand. If this is important to you, I suggest that the mothers have a conversation where they talk about what they are planning to wear and work something out that feels good to both of them. My mother was crazy to think that someone should wait for her to pick her dress first.
Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]

The moms are not part of the wedding party.  Nobody can dictate what they wear. 

AddieCake

The only people who who have to coordinate are the people in the wedding party,not the moms. 

DarDar510

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_mother-of-the-bride-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:bcfa2dce-e7ad-4cdc-aa0a-e563ef076652Post:d778a5ee-d3d0-4c53-a3dd-3f98afd0bcc5">Re: mother of the bride dress</a>:
[QUOTE]The only people who who have to coordinate are the people in the wedding party,not the moms. 
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

<div>This.  They are grown women, I'm sure they can choose what to wear on their own.</div>

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_mother-of-the-bride-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:bcfa2dce-e7ad-4cdc-aa0a-e563ef076652Post:d778a5ee-d3d0-4c53-a3dd-3f98afd0bcc5">Re: mother of the bride dress</a>:
[QUOTE]The only people who who have to coordinate are the people in the wedding party,not the moms. 
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

I mostly agree with this. 

However, in my family siblings are generally part of the WP and have to wear a certain color picked by the bride.  We all do formal family photos.   So while it's not required, I always think it's a good idea for the moms to coordinate with the BM colors if they have daughters who are BMs in the wedding for nothing else than the family portrait that is generally taken at wedding.

Note  - coordinate does not mean match.     

Vintagelove4

Like others have said, you can't dictate what they wear as they are not part of the wedding party. If they ask what color they should wear or ask you to help pick their dress then you can voice your opinion on their attire. Though they aren't obligated to follow your opinions either.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_mother-of-the-bride-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:bcfa2dce-e7ad-4cdc-aa0a-e563ef076652Post:4359564e-e949-4942-a8b4-8277d0e073f6">Re: mother of the bride dress</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's up to you whether you want them to coordinate in some way or avoid wearing the same color. Incorrect. My mom said that the MOB gets to pick her dress first and then the MOG has to stay away from that color and style, That tradition was a courtesy only.  It was intended to ensure that the moms didn't wear the same dress, or outshine the other. Lyndausvi, people in family portraits don't "have" to "coordinate" with each other, either. <strong>Do you dress alike for other family pictures? Wear matching outfits?</strong> I'll bet you don't. Having everyone look like paper dolls is ridiculous.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

I never said they "have" to coordinate. I said it's a nice idea. 

Coordinating does not mean match.  

To answer your question, yes we do coordinate when we take formal family photos.   That does not mean we are all matchy-matchy and clones of each other.   We just don't wear clashing colors or patterns.  

Jessa617

This is what my FMIL told me after I asked about what she thought she was going to wear. She told me the Bride's mother gets first choice of color (it doesn't have to coordinate with wedding party), then once the bride's mother chooses, then the groom's mother chooses. If the groom's mother wants to wear the same color, she needs to get the bride's mother's permission. Not sure if this rule is out-dated, but this is how I approached it.


ETA- Looks like this topic was discussed earlier. That's what I get for skimming through posts.

Sara G to be

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_mother-of-the-bride-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:bcfa2dce-e7ad-4cdc-aa0a-e563ef076652Post:4359564e-e949-4942-a8b4-8277d0e073f6">Re: mother of the bride dress</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's up to you whether you want them to coordinate in some way or avoid wearing the same color. Incorrect. My mom said that the MOB gets to pick her dress first and then the MOG has to stay away from that color and style, That tradition was a courtesy only.  It was intended to ensure that the moms didn't wear the same dress, or outshine the other. Lyndausvi, people in family portraits don't "have" to "coordinate" with each other, either. Do you dress alike for other family pictures? Wear matching outfits? I'll bet you don't. Having everyone look like paper dolls is ridiculous.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

This started a huge family fued at my brothers wedding. My mom picked a blue dress and OMG it was a huge deal because his wifes mom was maybe thinking about possibly wearing blue and how dare my mom get a blue dress! over a year later I don't talk to my brother and my mom and brother barely talk. My mom is heavy set and couldn't really wait to by a dress and eveything she tried on looked bad except this dress. she cried when she tried it on it was perfect so we got it. We were told all about etiquette and how rude this was and scolded about it. Once apon a time MOB's wore pink and MOG's wore blue!

Peledreamsofrain

I personally think the mothers' dresses are a ridiculous tradition, and cause WAY too much melodrama.  It weirded me WAY the heck out when both of the mothers kept hounding me for information on each other's dresses, and kept asking my permission for this color or that.

I will never in my life tell my mother what to wear.  Even, god forbid, should she fall so ill at some point that I will be caring for her and dressing her, I will do everything in my power to please her clothing-wise.  Clothing are a part of self-identity for adults.  I don't mess with that.