Nervous groom

crazygirl4134

So I was talking to my fiance about the ceremony and the vows the other day and he informed me that he doesn't want to have microphones on where people can hear us. The reason? He says that the vows part, speaking from his heart in front of a lot of people makes him extrememly nervous to the point where he is dreading it and having anxiety about it. My big problem is that I really want to make sure that our guests can hear our vows too and I am having its filmed as well and I worry that the camera woman won't be able to get it on tape where you can hear it if we don't have mics. Anyone have any suggestions? I don't think I can get him to budge on this particular issue.

Maggie0829

I have never been to a wedding that had mics and I was always able to hear the couple state their vows.

I think that you should respect your FI wishes.  Some people are not comfortable with public speaking, even in front of friends and relatives; especially when it comes to something emotional and personal.  I would talk to your videographer and let them know the situation.  I am sure there is something that they can do to capture the audio without having it projected to your entire audience.

courtski2004

I would also honor his wishes. I was a little worried about whether people would be able to hear us say our vows, but at the reception I was surprised that even people in the back of the church commented about how clearly they heard us. Even if your videographer is a few feet away, they should be able to capture your vows without a mic.

Benny618

My videographer is going to put a mic in FIs boutinear (spelling?) that goes directly to her camera.  It's just so that she can catch what we are saying for the video.  Maybe he will be ok with that since no one will be hearing him on that mic as he is speaking, but his words will still be caught on your video.

warpedredpenguin

Just so you understand where my point of view is coming from- I didn't get to say my vows, or hear my husband's, because our officiant messed up the ceremony. I didn't even get to say "I do." We read our vows to each other privately the next day, and it was nice. Those vows are for no one but us, so no one else needed to hear them. We don't feel it robbed us of anything. Not saying that saying them in front of everyone isn't meaningful too, because it is. Just pointing out that if everyone doesn't hear it, it doesn't really matter. 

It's much more important that you hear the words of his heart the way he intends, than the whole world hear a potentially butchered version because he's anxious. He's probably already going to be nervous, so the added anxiety of performing in front of a lot of people is not something he needs. I've been to plenty of wedding where I couldn't hear the vows, and I didn't mind. 

bunni727

Please respect his wishes. It can be absolutely petrifying to speak in front of crowds, particularly when saying such important and personal things. As long as guests can hear the officiant, they shouldn't be too disappointed.

Dreamergirl8812

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_nervous-groom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:bf9b8cb3-1822-413d-96f8-ac61a6b75ef8Post:52ccaeb0-ca99-44f3-80b4-d39b3ee25c6e">Re: Nervous groom</a>:
[QUOTE]Just so you understand where my point of view is coming from- <u><strong>I didn't get to say my vows, or hear my husband's, because our officiant messed up the ceremony</strong></u>. I didn't even get to say "I do." We read our vows to each other privately the next day, and it was nice. Those vows are for no one but us, so no one else needed to hear them. We don't feel it robbed us of anything. Not saying that saying them in front of everyone isn't meaningful too, because it is. Just pointing out that if everyone doesn't hear it, it doesn't really matter.  It's much more important that you hear the words of his heart the way he intends, than the whole world hear a potentially butchered version because he's anxious. He's probably already going to be nervous, so the added anxiety of performing in front of a lot of people is not something he needs. I've been to plenty of wedding where I couldn't hear the vows, and I didn't mind. 
Posted by warpedredpenguin[/QUOTE]


What?! What happened?

warpedredpenguin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_nervous-groom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:bf9b8cb3-1822-413d-96f8-ac61a6b75ef8Post:fe7c8f40-3613-41da-8256-57fccba1f7fb">Re: Nervous groom</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Nervous groom : What?! What happened?
Posted by Dreamergirl8812[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Oh, it's kind of a funny story. Our whole ceremony was a hot mess. We had written out scripts for both officiants, because it was a blended religion ceremony, so they both asked for one. We gave it to them about 2 months in advance, and they said they were clear on what they needed to do. Nothing complicated or anything, but it was different. They both had the scripts in front of them, his guy still skipped the (brief) explanations of the meaning of the handfasting, sharing of mead, and sword exchange, so my side had no idea what we were doing. He did those blurbs in all of his ceremonies, so we have no idea why he skipped them or mangled the ones he did do. When it came to be my minister's turn (he's very experienced, and we had discussed multiple times that we were writing our own vows) he just did a prayer, and went right to the rings. I tried to tell him we needed to do our vows, and he insisted we'd done them already. I told him no we hadn't, but he just went on with it anyway, and we didn't want to make a scene. So we exchanged rings without saying anything other than "with this ring, etc." Then he pronounced us Mr. & Mrs. Husband and Penguin, which sounded stupid. I kept my last name, so I asked him to pronounce us for the first time as husband and wife, H and Penguin. Afterward, he realized what he'd done, and felt horrible. He apologized profusely, they both did, but you know, we're married, and it's a funny story now. We just shrug and say if that's the worst thing that happened, we're pretty lucky. We're married, and nobody died, so that's really all that matters. </div><div>

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crazygirl4134

Just so everyone understands, I wasn't insisting I would force him to do something that would make him extremely uncomfortable because I know it's out day, not just mine. I was only trying to find a solution to the problem because I would like to have it on tape and one day show out children. I just needed ideas on how to get the best of both worlds. I was mostly trying to figure out the mic thing and we are having an outdoor and it sounds like we won't have a problem! Thank you all for your help and advice! I feel better about it all now :-)