No flowers :(

Gardini5

I teach at an elementary school and it seems like everyone has gotten flowers from their husbands BUT me! Does anyone else feel my frustration??? We are supposed to go to dinner tonight, but it seems more obligatory than anything since Sunday we are spending the day at his Grandma and Grandpas....I know i'm being a b**** but i'm dissapointed in him. When we were living in different states he was way more romantic.

laurenclaire1386

Did your H have any idea you wanted flowers for V-Day? Or did you just assume he'd have the wherewithall to do it on his own? Personally, no, I don't get your frustration. I think V-Day is a ridiculously commercialized holiday that trivializes relationships so that florists and Hallmark can make tons of money.

aerinpegadrak

FI's only ever gotten me flowers on our anniversary.  I don't think it's that big a deal.  It doesn't mean that he doesn't love you, it just means that he doesn't feel guilty enough that he has to go out of his way to express it on the day the greeting card industry says he has to.

balasj

This is one of the most expensive times to get flowers.  I agree its tough when many others in your workplace have them, but perhaps your H realized its a rip off.  My fiance isn't getting me flowers this year, but he often brings them to me at other random times when the gesture is more thoughtful.  If you're really bothered by it, maybe drop a hint or make a comment about it a few weeks down the road - nothing angry, just a "gee, I wish I'd gotten some flowers for V-Day - maybe next your you might think of it.  Its so nice to get them at work and feel special." 

Gardini5

It's not that I wanted them SENT to me so it would cost alot. Simply come bring me lunch, or a visit would be amazing You girls are just really something! !

laurenclaire1386

What do you mean, "we're really something?" My point is, if you two didn't speak about any kind of V day plan, then I think it's unreasonable to expect a surprise romantic gesture from him. My other point is that I think it's silly to get bent out of shape over not celebrating this made up holiday.

Gardini5

It sounds like you probably don't get anything for any holidays...

laurenclaire1386

I did actually.



But I wouldn't be whining if I hadn't.

trix1223

I think that V-day is one of the silliest holidays ever.  I think it's forced and often phony.  If my DH treated me in a blase manner all year, and then sent me roses because it was Valentine's Day, I'd wonder why?

FWIW:  My DH does things all the time that mean far more to me that V-day silliness.  At the end of the recent blizzard NJ just went through, he was out at 10 pm clearing the snow from my car so tht I wouldn't have to in the morning.

That says far and away more than flowers on V-day.  Oh-and he regularly comes home with bouquets of flowers on purely random days. 

aerinpegadrak

We just don't consider Valentine's Day a holiday.  We don't get time off work, it doesn't commemorate any major event, it's just kind of silly.  I wasn't even going to get him anything, but he mentioned he was getting me a gift, so I picked up something for him that I'd been thinking of getting him for a while.  If we need a particular date on which we stop and reflect how much we love each other, that's what our anniversaries are for.

MairePoppy

He is probably thinking the dinner date is your gift to each other. Stop on the way home from work and buy him flowers or chocolates. I'll bet he'll take the hint.

SarahPLiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_flowers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:c07658ed-e7cd-4b3c-8f6c-9defe66b78f0Post:a3fc7d5e-fba3-47b5-98cb-3479453e8851">Re: No flowers :(</a>:
[QUOTE]He is probably thinking the dinner date is your gift to each other. Stop on the way home from work and buy him flowers or chocolates. I'll bet he'll take the hint.
Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

Exactly. V-day is just not for guys to love on girls. It goes the other way too. Didyou think to do something for him this morning, or bring him lunch? If you didn't, then you can't fault him for not thinking of it.

You never know what he might have planned. Don't get caught up in the hype. Jealousy is not productive.


ETA: V day is on Sunday. Not today. Don't get all worked up over a holiday that he hasn't officially missed yet.

I <3 Seabass

Well today's not Valentines Day so I wouldn't be too upset.  Plus, how would he know that he's supposed to send it 2 days early. Maybe he'll get you flowers on Sunday which is actually V-day.  

Honestly if I saw that a bunch of women got flowers delivered to the office today (which no one in my office did get flowers delivered) I would think it was odd and showy.

keith_ecko

Hey gurls....Let me give a little perspective from the guys point of view....Of course we know we should give our sweetheart something for Valentines day, but the day isn't until Sunday so I wouldn't get too upset about it just yet. Where I live Roses are marked up almost 30-40 bucks more on Valentines day and with this economy my FI told me I better not even waste my money. She said "Let's goto a dinner and movie instead". I agree with the previous posting. I would rather get flowers when it's totally unexpected. To me it is more romantic to be spontaneous! I am more concerned with knowing that my FI loves me and shows it 24-7, 365 days a year. Love lasts, but a flower dies.

One last thing...Whoever said that guys can't receive flowers too? Most guys will say they could careless but the first time I received a flower was from my FI and I will tell you It was the sweetest gesture. I think V's day is a more female oriented holiday but you can't get upset if you didn't think of him in return. Us guys like to feel validated once in a while too.

Don't get too upset. If you guys have a great relationship think of that as your gift. I would be just as happy knowing I'm with someone who cares the world for me, rather than be in a crappy relationship, and get a flower or gift because she's trying to appease me.

Hope this helps.......

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_flowers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:c07658ed-e7cd-4b3c-8f6c-9defe66b78f0Post:16167cb2-6e2a-4fcf-bc9c-bad5574c720c">Re: No flowers :(</a>:
[QUOTE]Where I live Roses are marked up almost 30-40 bucks more on Valentines day and with this economy my FI told me I better not even waste my money. She said "Let's goto a dinner and movie instead". I agree with the previous posting. I would rather get flowers when it's totally unexpected. To me it is more romantic to be spontaneous!
Posted by keith_ecko[/QUOTE]

This is pretty much it. 

Most of the women I know think getting flowers on V-day is a huge waste of money.  I mean, sure, we'd all enjoy getting a surprise delivery at work, but let's be honest.  That costs $100 this time of year.  Most of us would rather have a nice dinner out or something worth-while for that cash, especially once you get into an "our money" place.  Or even, most of us would prefer to get a random flower delivery in April, just because.

I would feel completely ridiculous and self-centered to be upset about not getting flowers.  Not because I never get anything (I have fresh roses right now) but because it's childish. 

Valentines day is a made up holiday.  It was just created so that florists and card stores could sell stuff.  We do and always have celebrated v-day at home with a nice bottle of wine and some couple time.  If you really want V-day to matter, skip the spending money frenzy and use it as an excuse to just spend a little time together.  That's what really matters anyway.  Being upset about not getting flowers at work is pretty juvenile. 

aerinpegadrak

Oh man, Valentine's Day is one of those holidays where we won't go out to eat because it's madness.  We might go to a nice dinner later this week when things have calmed down a bit.  But probably not, since we have that pesky little wedding to save for.

nda_roxybabe

Ok, I love Valentines Day- It's probably my favorite day of the year (even though its cheesy ) Even still, I'm not at all bummed that I didn't get any flowers yesterday.

T mentioned it the other night though when he said "I cant send you flowersat work because Valentines is on a sunday" and I told him most people would get them friday at work. His reply? "Wouldn't you get them monday? thats closer to Valentines day"
You just dont know what guys are thinking.

jena.n.ross

Awe, ladies!  

OP, I feel for you, I'm sorry that you were expecting him to make this gesture and he didn't

Personally: I'm of a mind that Vday is one of those things hyped by the industry to make money (I feel the same about STDs and engagement photos).  I don't think you should expect him to send them to you at work before the holiday though.  Guys often don't think about how that's extra special because it brightens our day and lets us show off a little.   Now, if he doesn't do anything for you at all, I'd be way disappointed.  

If this is going to be a major problem for you, then you've got to talk to him about it (in a calm, logical way).  It's better to come off a little materialistic than to have this eat at you.  

FI and I usually discuss sometime in January if we're doing presents or not.  This year we're working lunch (we're servers, it will hopefully be a good money day), rushing home, and driving like crazy to make it to the concert we bought tickets for.  So we made plans to do something special together rather than gifts.  

Still, I'm secretly hoping he'll get me a flower or two :P

keith_ecko

Thanks goheels05 I appreciate the comments...I will be sticking around till at least August....

In regards to the last comment I'm pretty disheartened by but not surprised...The reason I say that is because it's absolutely not true that guys don't realize how special it is for women to receive gifts, especially when their peers are around. We do trust me! The reason I'm not surprised is because allot of guys unfortunately don't take the time to do this. I also don't think we should be judged poorly because of it. Some people are more private and don't feel the need to do that just for a attention getter. After all the only attention he should be after is his ladies. I think us guys, and ladies too should make a better effort to make their special someone happy, so if it's spending a few bucks on a card and flowers, why not???

I do agree with you jena.n.ross that the best bet would be to discuss how you feel about holidays and gift giving. If I know how important it is to my FI to receive a gift on V's-Day than I definitely won't miss it. I guess it goes back to that communication thing that we forget to do sometimes....Happy Valentines Day!!!!!

krmabojo

We are tight for money and did not even exchange birthday or Christmas gifts. My birthday is Dec 19th and his is dec 31st.

I did not expect anything for Valentine's Day because to me it is a Hallmark Holiday. I did make him a card though