When to wed?? Before or after my thesis?

SaraQ81

Hi - I got engaged in December of 2008 and have yet to really start planning our wedding. Problem is, I'm doing a Masters degree right now and my thesis is due  latest Aug 2011 but I can also get it in by May 2011, to graduate earlier. I don't know when to set the date of our wedding! It is driving me crazy but I've always been bad at making decisions. My idea is to either - do it this year in Dec 2010 so that I'll have plenty of time to concentrate on the thesis afterwards, or get married in December 2011, once I've aready finished my masters. I already have a lot of ideas and we have the budget to do it in 2010, and I am almost impatient to just get the wedding done. I guess what I'm asking is, is wedding planning really very hectic and stressful, and time consuming, even if you have a wedding planner? If anyone out there is also doing a masters thesis, and planning a wedding, how are you doing it?

Blusieme

Sure its time consuming w/ so many responsibilities on your plate, but in fairness whether its a thesis or relocating, or holding a full-time job w/ over 40hrs a week, etc, there is always something that will consume the time of a planning bride. 

If you have an idea of wedding items that you would like, then you can start enlisting assistance to get things rolling. 

You said you're bad at making decisons, then hopefully you'll envison a destination wedding where most of the decison making will be left to a wedding coordinator & they just ask for your opinion on cakes, etc & they will execute what you select. 

Best wishes.... 

AdeleDazeem

I answered this in another post... but, I'll reiterate what I said there.

I am getting my Ph.D. in May 2010.  I in NO WAY could conceive writing my thesis and planning a wedding.  I knew I'd resent going to a shower when I should be doing experiments.  Or, I'd hate trying to prepare for my defense while wondering about wedding plans.  I didn't even entertain the thought of overlapping the two.

It is true, it may always be something.  But, I went to grad school to get this degree and it deserves my full attention at the end because - let's be honest - it's the point of why you are there.  Everyone that I've talked to that overlapped the two things have wished they hadn't.

My advice is to either have the wedding before you need to write a thesis or wait until after.  It make less stress for everyone

goheels05

Something to keep in mind:  If your wedding is in December 2011, you would need to be booking the venue and major venues about a year in advance of that date (December is a very popular month--not just for weddings, but you're also competing for venue space with various holiday parties), so it's not like you can wait until after your thesis is done in May or August to start planning a December wedding. 

How far in advance do you need to begin work on your thesis?  Will you have already started come December 2010?  If not, I'd probably go ahead and get the wedding out of the way this December, but if that's the route you are going, you need to start booking your venue and major vendors (caterer, photog, cake baker) now. 

Hinaj

FI and I were just talking this weekend about pushing back our 2011 wedding date to another year or so, so I can go to grad school and finish up before getting married or go to med school if that is what I want to pursue.  He said it would be too hard juggling him, school, a wedding (btw, he added his mother in the mix as well).  lol  So I have been thinking about whether we should do it or not.  In this aspect, I am being indecisive like you as well. 

I think all of these things require a good chunk of your concentration, and like a PP said, you don't want to be thinking about your wedding in school or vice versa. 

goheels05

The other thing you could do is if you are going to get married in December 2011, you can get the major vendors booked sometime between now and next winter, and then you don't have to worry about anything related to the wedding until after your thesis is done.  Things like flowers, decor, bridesmaids dresses, menus, invitations, etc., can definitely wait until after your thesis.

Can I change my answer?  lol

SaraQ81

Hi
So I've decided on December 2010 after all. I realized I'm always going to be busy. This year I have less classes to do, and a lot of time to work on the thesis, so I'll be using any break time for wedding stuff. It kind of works well because I can use wedding stuff as a reinforcement for working on my thesis...
I also have gotten a planner, just because I know I will stress out without one, even if I had absolutely nothing to do school wise.
Thanks for all your advice - i will keep you all posted about how things are going!