Donations for fertility treatment?

allychase

Apparently there are donation sites to help people fund fertility treatment? An acquaintance posted a link asking everyone to donate for her friends. Would you do this? What are people's opinions on this?

allychase

It was just so awkward to see.. I felt like that's their private business put all out there. And just seemed so odd asking for people to help pay for it. I mean not to be rude but I feel like tons of people have this problem and I've never seen someone actually set up a donation site for themselves to have other people pay for it. But I guess there's an option for everything nowadays

Avion22

I have friends who did this.  I did not donate.  I'm not sure how much (if anything) they received in donations, but they now have three beautiful daughters.

Simply Fated

I've heard of this before (on TK) and I don't like it. Don't get me wrong, I'm ALL for IVF and I wish the couple (or soon-to-be single mom) all the best luck in the world, but I don't like be asked to fund it.
I wouldn't like to be asked to donate to the hospital bills, either. Or to help pay for adoption services.

If I wanted to help in some way, even financially, I don't need someone to wave a charity form in front of me. It comes off as entitled and crosses all kinds of lines.

Maggie0829

I think this is horribly rude.

For those suffering fertility issues I feel horrible that they are having to go through that and wish them all the best in their endeavors, but just like buying a house, buying a car, or going on a vacation, it is the couples choice to go through the IVF process so it should be paid by them and only them.  They should not beg other people to donate to their cause.

lyndausvi

I would never donate to that "cause"

bridalmarch

I've never heard of this, but I'm sort of torn on it. While I agree that it's the couple's choice to try IVF, no one chooses to have fertility problems. With wedings, you can always go to  JOP. With cars, you can always buy used. With honeymoons, you can just do a weekend getaway or not take one at all. The entitlement in those sort of registries bothers me, which is why I don't donate to them. 

There is no..."you always could try ___ instead" for concieving a child. IVF is usually the last stop. I watched my sister struggle with fertility issues for years before she had her children, and each loss was heartbreaking to see her deal with. IVF comes with an incredible price tag and at the end you don't just get a wedding for one day, or a car for five years, or a week long trip. Parenthood is the most wonderful and life-long gift possible. I think that's a registry I wouldn't mind donating money to. 

DarDar510

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_donations-for-fertility-treatment?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:cb22c483-6781-48e8-bb79-9c5554c1f7f8Post:c265bf52-b5ab-4893-9ecc-74a38ccd5c79">Re:Donations for fertility treatment?</a>:
[QUOTE]To me this is no different than asking for people to donate to cover the cost of your child's birth or your regular medical care. It's horribly rude and I would never even consider it.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

<div>This.  Although I can sympathize with the couple and realize how difficult and expensive IVF can be, it's still no one else's responsibility or obligation to help fund but their own.  Everyone has their struggles in life, whether it be IVF, wanting to buy a house. in debt over their heads, etc.  Should we all go about creating funds asking for people to donate money to them as well?  </div><div>
</div><div>I just don't understand how people can find it acceptable to do these type of things.</div>

winelover123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_donations-for-fertility-treatment?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:cb22c483-6781-48e8-bb79-9c5554c1f7f8Post:2b2770d5-06a8-4a87-bcf9-4a3313deb3c1">Re: Donations for fertility treatment?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've never heard of this, but I'm sort of torn on it. While I agree that it's the couple's choice to try IVF, no one chooses to have fertility problems. With wedings, you can always go to  JOP. With cars, you can always buy used. With honeymoons, you can just do a weekend getaway or not take one at all. The entitlement in those sort of registries bothers me, which is why I don't donate to them.  There is no..."you always could try ___ instead" for concieving a child. IVF is usually the last stop. I watched my sister struggle with fertility issues for years before she had her children, and each loss was heartbreaking to see her deal with. IVF comes with an incredible price tag and at the end you don't just get a wedding for one day, or a car for five years, or a week long trip. Parenthood is the most wonderful and life-long gift possible. I think that's a registry I wouldn't mind donating money to. 
Posted by bridalmarch[/QUOTE]

I really don't want to come across as insensitive, but they could also try adoption. I'm not sure if that's a less expensive option, and I'm sure people have reasons for not wanting to adopt, but that is an option. I definitely agree that no one chooses to have fertility problems, which is why it took me a few minutes to think about what I would do. I don't think I'd donate, because it would be like asking your friends to help you with birthing costs, but I don't think I'd necessarily side-eye this like I would a buy-me-a-house registry.

McRogol

There are fundraising sites for everything these days...I just one for a FB whose son is ill at college and she is staying with him in the bay area.  The fundraiser it to help offset her costs while she stays with him.  It makes me wonder...Will the third party be taking a percentage of the donation?  How else would they make their money?  The whole thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth...So, I opt to not donate.  

JadziaDax

I would never be able to ask for donations for fertility treatments. It's not only rude, but why would someone want to put more pressure on herself to get pregnant? People would be checking in and asking if the treatment was successful and if it hasn't, I would just feel worse. At the same time, I don't find anything wrong with asking for donations for adoption.

lorihitched

I think all of you are being too judgemental, inconsiderate and uneducated about infertility. No one choses infertility. Adoption takes a MINIMUM of 9 years in Canada. IVF is the last option for most infertile couples. How is asking for donations to start a family any different than setting up a gift registry? That's what I find tacky. Hey, how about you buy me this kitchen table set or crystal wine glasses. Asking for materialistic things seems a lot more selfish to me than asking for help for a medical problem. Infertility is a medical problem by the way. It comes down to values; Some couples value family more than a bridal registry to FURNISH THEIR HOUSE. There is no difference between starting a home together or starting a family together. Your arguments lack logic, so they are invalid. I would donate to infertile couples in a second. Traditional or not, you won't find me furnishing your house! 

lorihitched

And by the way, adoption can cost considerably more than IVF treatments.

thejucheidea

@knotporscha, zombie thread.

doeydo

"How long does it take?
There's no set time. It all depends on which route you pursue. For instance, if you're looking to adopt a newborn in Canada, it could take you at least a year. Overseas, on the other hand, the wait will be longer. A lot will depend on you -- what kind of child you're interested in, how much time, money and energy you're willing to invest in your search, how anxious you are to become a parent, and of course, luck.
How much does it cost?
Once again, a lot will depend on what kind of child you're interested in adopting. For children adopted through the public system, for instance, there is usually no fee at all. Most private adoptions, on the other hand, range from about $15,000-$25,000 (for a child born in Canada) to about $25,000-$50,000+ (for a child born in the United States or overseas)." -http://www.canadaadopts.com/canada/faqs.shtml

"Q – What is the cost to adopt?

A – The cost of adoption depends on a number of variables: the type of adoption you undertake, whether you work with an agency, the province you reside in and any associated travel costs.  It costs very little to adopt through the public child welfare system in Canada.

Range of Adoption Costs

Public (foster care): $0 - $3,000

Licensed Private Agency: $10,000 - $20,000

International: $20,000 - $30,000
Q – How long does the adoption process take?

A- The process of adopting can range from 9 months to 9 years, depending upon what type of adoption you undertake.  If you are adopting internationally, the process varies according to the other country involved.  One way to help speed up an adoption is to be educated, informed and as proactive as possible." -http://www.adoption.ca/faqs

No, it does not take a "MINIMUM of 9 years in Canada" to adopt a child.   

RebeccaB88

And this was worth resurrecting from almost a year ago because... FWIW, as both an adopted child and a woman with fertility issues...no way in hell would I donate. If you want to go through all that, more power to you. But the cost is on you.

RebeccaB88

Grumble. DP