what do i do when...

rambkennedy

When the wedding is a few months away and I am an excited brides maid, what do you do when the Bride is acting like its a big secret and does not feel I need to know anything.. litterally, times, places etc..

She gets mean about ever asspect of the wedding.  Even demeaing the groom infront of people.

How do I handle this?  No you cannot tell her anything.  And its depressing.

em01092

Ditto Edie. The bride may not know all of the details yet. As long as you know when and where to be for the R and RD (if they are having one) and the ceremony/reception, I think you're good. 

Are you/the bride having hair and makeup done? That's the only other thing I can think of that could be something you need to know for the day of. 

rambkennedy

yes and yes for hair and makeup.  but no times and the location is over 30 miles away.

em01092

Yeah I need to know when the wedding actually is taking place. If you're 3 months out, she may not have made the appointments yet. Chillax. I would think as long as you know a week or two out when exactly you need to be there, you should be fine. And 30 miles (I assume you mean from your home?) is not thaaat far. 

If you have some pressing valid reason why you need to know asap, please share. I assume you've already taken off for work, so I can't think of any reason you really need to know right this instant. If you're just a planner and she isn't, I get that, but there isn't much you can do. 

redheadfsu

You don't need to tell her anything.

But do you need to book anything (like hotel)? Then just ask and tell her you need to know by X date.

Anything else, I wouldn't worry about it until a few weeks before.

ChristineNB

I haven't told my own bridesmaids much.  Simply because they all live different places, and I don't really expect them to do anything.  I will figure out what colors/style they should wear and that's about it.  I am more of a "do-it-yourself" person anyway, although my sister, my maid of honor, has been very generous about offering to help as much as she can from 250 miles away. 

I'm just saying perhaps this bride is like me and doesn't expect her bridal party to be super involved.  As long as my bridesmaids show up, that is really all I expect.

ChristineNB

Oh BTW, normally when you post a question on multiple discussion boards you start a thread with "XP" so it doesn't look like you are just spamming up the boards with the same topic.

rambkennedy

Christine NB, thanks on the "XP" tip.  I just joined and am not a blogger.