mother and stepmother = ISSUES!

chadygrl

My mother and father have been divored for over 20 years, each are remarried (a few times between), and am very close to both my parent as well as my stepparents....the salon is work at is letting me use it as private salon for my wedding day with all my ladies. Being a makeup artist and hairstylist this is actually one of the parts i'm most excited about...well was...Until I was discussing with my mom how many people and who would be joining us in the salon on the big date, as soon as I mention my stepmothers name, my moms voice drops....she doesnt want to be getting her hair and makeup done in the same salon as my stepmother, she is worried about my stepmom seeing her without her hair and makeup done....she actually came right out and said my stepmother would be intruding...its not like I said I was going to ask my stepmom to help me into my dress. I just wanted everyone there enjoying getting pampered together, is that wrong? How is my father (who is paying for most of the wedding) going to feel when I tell "my mom says your wife can't be there?, but I do" but then again I dont want to hurt my mother.

Please help! 

ZeroOrchestra

IMO, your mom is putting you in a real crappy situation. She is an adult and should be able to act accordingly on her daughters wedding day. I would try to have a calm conversation with her about it and if she becomes too upset just let her know you hope she can put her differences aside and be there for you. The only concession I could see making is perhaps let your mom have her makeup started first so she feels a little more secure. I'm not saying you have to do that or approving of your moms attitude, but I can see where you are kind of stuck on this, so it could be a good bargaining chip.

lindsaynewbride10

After 20 years, you would think your Mother would have let go of such emotions and drama by now. She needs to.  She's putting unnecessary stress on you. You're all grown adults and need to act like it.

bunni727

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_mother-and-stepmother-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:d153ccbf-56ef-4937-a3a4-a4dc62807477Post:61864902-243c-4ffc-a9be-a22e5af794e0">Re:mother and stepmother ISSUES!</a>:
[QUOTE]IMO, your mom is putting you in a real crappy situation. She is an adult and should be able to act accordingly on her daughters wedding day. I would try to have a calm conversation with her about it and if she becomes too upset just let her know you hope she can put her differences aside and be there for you. <strong>The only concession I could see making is perhaps let your mom have her makeup started first so she feels a little more secure. I'm not saying you have to do that or approving of your moms attitude, but I can see where you are kind of stuck on this, so it could be a good bargaining chip.</strong>
Posted by ZeroOrchestra[/QUOTE]

I like this idea. Your mom could have the very first appointment, and be almost ready by the time stepmother arrives.

Sorry you have to deal with this.

Peledreamsofrain

The advice above is good.  Another alternative is to have her put on a really basic foundation layer before going to the salon.  They'll have to strip it off her before they can start, but that's something they can do.

chadygrl

Thank you all for the advice, and mostly for showing me that I wasn't just over reacting

We have talked about it a little, and I think its a lost cause, but we are going to make sure she is the first one in the salon chair and pampered and happy...hopefully a mimsa or two....before my stepmother gets there...and I did promise my mom she would be the one by my side when it comes to getting into the dress!

thanks ladies!!!