How to include stepfather in wedding????

chelseagriffin15

My stepfather and I are very close. He pretty much raised me. My dad and I speak but barely. My dads family is also very opionated and does not think my stepdad should have any part in my wedding considering he is not my father.

I still want to include my stepdad in my wedding somehow because he is like my father. How can I do that without offending my dad and his family???? Please help....

cassiecasey2012

Could you maybe have both of them walk you down the aisle? Or give them both a flower and say something small about what they both mean to you? I'm sort of in the same situation, and I'm having my younger brother walk me down the aisle so I don't hurt anybodys feelings. If you dad is still offended, then there's not much you can do. It's YOUR day. He should be happy for you no matter what. That's how I look at it.

meeshsparks

I had the same question cause my father whom I was very close to passed away 5 years ago, but Im also close to my stepdad.I did not want it to look like my father's place in my life was "replaced". so I decided to have my brother  and my stepdad  walk me down the aisle, and when I reach the altar, they can both  give me away

or you can have one do the giving away, and one do the first dance? 

JaxInBlue

My case is a lot like yours, and I think all of the above are good ideas.  You can have both your dad and your stepdad walk you down the aisle.  You could have one walk with you and one share a dance.  You might also think about asking your stepdad to do a special reading or, if he is so gifted, perform a song at your service.  I didn't really share a lot of the specific plans for the ceremony with people until the rehearsal - which was too late for anyone to argue about which family got to do more.

My stepdad is an incredible musician so he provided all of the music during our service.  He also wore a tux and boutonniere like my bio dad and was listed as a parent in the program.  I danced with my stepdad while my DH danced with his mom, after making sure they would be okay with us sharing the moment with them.  (My bio dad and I also danced together, but were only alone for a minute or so before the DJ invited other fathers and daughters up to the dance floor.) 

I know that it can be awkward to manage these situations but you can find a compromise that works for you and you feel comfortable with.  Good luck!

TiffannieF

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_how-to-include-stepfather-in-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:d80175e9-c6ca-47ad-9f07-2b85cc5359b1Post:4847ce9e-74c4-4068-bc9d-9c9b725fdecc">Re: How to include stepfather in wedding????</a>:
[QUOTE]What about walking alone?  You don't have to be given away, and you can walk with anyone or no one at all.  You could also have your mother walk you down the aisle and give you away.  You could even walk down the aisle with your fiance.
Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]

I like these options.  Although I know you are trying to avoid family drama, unless your father's family is paying for the wedding they really have no say...especially whom you include.

My first thought was to have your father walk you down and your step father escort your mother down.  But honestly, since he seems more of a father than you biological father, I would say he walk you down.  When the officiant asks "Who gives this bride away" the 3 of them (step dad, mom, and dad) can all say "we do".  You can also get him a boutonniere if you are getting them for the parents.

It's not your fault your father didn't have part of your life.

mrsjmp

My parents have been divorced for years. I was fortunate to have both my Dad and Step-Dad in my lives. I both love them equally and I don't want my Dad to feel like my Step-Dad is stepping on his toes at the wedding. Obviously I want both of them to be incorporated in my wedding so I am having my Step Dad walk me 1/2 way down the aisle and giving me to my father who can give me away. During the father daughter dance I am only doing that dance with my Father. Just remember this is YOUR day, you can't make everyone happy which I am learning in this wedding planning process. Do what makes you happy

KeptInStitches

@knotporscha, the zombies are playing ...

climbingsingle

@mrsjmp, you're responding to a post from Feb. 2012.