Stag n' Doe

rayschicky

Hi every one!
My MOH called today and is wondering how much to charge for stag n' doe tickets.
Any ideas? 5$? 10$?

Any advice would be appreciated.

RebeccaB88

Nothing.  Don't make other people pay for your wedding. That's your responsibility. 

(Yes, I know it's considered traditional in some areas. That doesn't make it right.  Begging for money is never appropriate.)

ChristineNB

I would be very insulted if someone expected me to help pay for their wedding under the guise of a "party."  Budget for a wedding you can afford, save more, etc.

katslack

Advice not opinions. to each is own. If its considered tradional then It is appropriate and people would expect it. Have fun whatever you do. Never heard of this but do what you want don't listen to the meanies.

vicki0508

$50 each. You're entitled to your dream wedding, and it's your friends' obligation to help make it happen.

emarston1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_stag-n-doe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:d9be65ff-b6f8-4c64-8846-9573afdde22bPost:7e36e66c-9ed8-41ec-ab06-168faae5592b">Re: Stag n' Doe</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Advice not opinions.</strong> to each is own. <strong>If its considered tradional then It is appropriate</strong> and people would expect it. Have fun whatever you do. Never heard of this but do what you want don't listen to the meanies.
Posted by katslack[/QUOTE]
1.  They did give advice, they told her not to do it.  Just because it wasn't the advice she asked for, doesn't mean it wasn't advice (and good advice at that.)

2.  Nope, not true but thanks for playing.

kristy888

Holding a fundraiser for your wedding is really very tacky and inappropriate. I would suggest that you not have one, even if it is common in your area.

em01092

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_stag-n-doe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:d9be65ff-b6f8-4c64-8846-9573afdde22bPost:7e36e66c-9ed8-41ec-ab06-168faae5592b">Re: Stag n' Doe</a>:
[QUOTE]Advice not opinions. to each is own. <strong>If its considered tradional then It is appropriate </strong>and people would expect it. Have fun whatever you do. Never heard of this but do what you want don't listen to the meanies.
Posted by katslack[/QUOTE]

<div>It is rude to ask your guests (or anyone, for that matter) to pay for your wedding. Period. Sure, parties like these are common in some areas and people are accustomed to them, but that doesn't change the fact that they are still rude and tacky. </div><div>
</div><div>OP, I would say not to have one of these parties. Politely decline this offer from your MOH. FWIW, I have no idea how much "should" be charged, because no one I know does these parties and I wouldn't know the normal price.</div>

ski2play

I had to google it because I didn't really believe it.  Ugh, unbelievable, and totally tacky.  By the way, after reading the information, my advice is DON'T DO IT!


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stag_and_doe

Hilraythebride

Im not sure what this stag and doe thing is but it seems like some sort of pre-wedding party that you get money from people to pay for your wedding, yea not apropriate.

So do they come to the party, pay to get in, AND bring a gift?!

[Deleted User]

Just no.

Gabrielle76

I had never heard of this, but charging for a party isn't really appropriate.  My advice would be not to do it. 

mbody

Never heard of this before. It sounds terrible. Fundraisers are for charity- not weddings. 

NcsuPsych

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_stag-n-doe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:d9be65ff-b6f8-4c64-8846-9573afdde22bPost:7e36e66c-9ed8-41ec-ab06-168faae5592b">Re: Stag n' Doe</a>:
[QUOTE]Advice not opinions. to each is own. If its considered tradional then It is appropriate and people would expect it. Have fun whatever you do. Never heard of this but do what you want <strong>don't listen to the meanies</strong>.
Posted by katslack[/QUOTE]

Aww that's cute. You're calling people names that would usually be used by a 2nd grader. Kudos.


OP. These kind of fundraising events are HIGHLY looked down upon, just as an FYI.
I think they're rude and obnoxious. I wouldn't charge a guest to come to my 'party' or 'shower', and I most certainly wouldn't charge a guest to come to my wedding. Which in turn, is exactly what Stag n' Doe parties are about (at least the fund raising ones). However, you don't have to listen to me, because that's just my opinion and I'm a meanie. . . .

rayschicky

No, no one is expected to bring a gift to the stag and doe. Thank you for all your advice so far (I know that stag and doe's are a hot topic on the knot lol) We will be having one however, as they are absolutely common place in my town (think small town Ontario), no one thinks they are tacky here (and people actually look quite forward to them). If people do not wish to support the event tehy are absolutely not required to come. I was just wondering though, for those who have been to stag and doe's or are from places where they are also common place, what was the typical ticket price?

lol re Vickey: excellent use of sarcasm lol

afeliz79

If everyone in your town does it, why don't you know what the typical ticket price is?

mbody

If they are common in your area and everyone does it, then wouldn't you already know what to charge for a ticket? That seems logical. What have you paid at one?

This entire thing baffles me. A guest to the wedding pays to enter a party as a fundraiser so the bride and groom can properly host me at their wedding? So, basically the guest is paying for a portion their food/alcohol. Then bringing a gift to the wedding itself.

NcsuPsych

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_stag-n-doe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:d9be65ff-b6f8-4c64-8846-9573afdde22bPost:e41129ac-5e56-45aa-a829-2c76ddf25d9c">Re: Stag n' Doe</a>:
[QUOTE]No, no one is expected to bring a gift to the stag and doe. Thank you for all your advice so far (I know that stag and doe's are a hot topic on the knot lol) We will be having one however, as they are absolutely common place in my town (think small town Ontario), no one thinks they are tacky here (and people actually look quite forward to them). If people do not wish to support the event tehy are absolutely not required to come. I was just wondering though, for those who have been to stag and doe's or are from places where they are also common place, what was the typical ticket price? lol re Vickey: excellent use of sarcasm lol
Posted by rayschicky[/QUOTE]

If its common then. . .

A. you should already know the price others charge
B. Since they're so common and accepted in your area, milk it for what it's worth. . . you're already smashing etiquette rules. Go for broke. . .

rayschicky

They are common, however I've never been to one back home because I am only 21, and moved away from home to go to University three years ago (before I was legal drinking age).The one I have gone to at University ticketes were 15$ entry, but I didn't know if this was typical or not.  I can understand how the concept would seem tacky to someone from a town where proper ettiquette is strongly maintained/enforced. However, in small town Ontario people don't read into it like that, it's just another chance to party with friends and help the bride and groom out. Cash bars are also extremely common here (I've never actually been to a wedding without one) but I know this is very much taboo in other places. There's probably some people that don't support it, but these are probably the ones who choose not to come, which is also totally fine.

Thanks again for the advice so far - and happy planning!

vicki0508

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_stag-n-doe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:d9be65ff-b6f8-4c64-8846-9573afdde22bPost:e41129ac-5e56-45aa-a829-2c76ddf25d9c">Re: Stag n' Doe</a>:
[QUOTE]No, no one is expected to bring a gift to the stag and doe. Thank you for all your advice so far (I know that stag and doe's are a hot topic on the knot lol) We will be having one however, as they are absolutely common place in my town (think small town Ontario), no one thinks they are tacky here (and people actually look quite forward to them). If people do not wish to support the event tehy are absolutely not required to come. I was just wondering though, for those who have been to stag and doe's or are from places where they are also common place, what was the typical ticket price? lol re Vickey: excellent use of sarcasm lol
Posted by rayschicky[/QUOTE]

<div>lol re: your ability to spell correctly.</div>

rayschicky

I also find my typos a source of amusement.
I wasn't trying to be mean earlier, I actually thought what you said was funny.
Not wanting to turn this into a head-butter like some other threads - thanks again for the replies everyone

Simply Fated

We know it's accepted in your area (because you said so) but how do you feel about them? You shouldn't say, "Well, they're common in my area so I'm having one" unless you support the cause.

You seem to be all for people raising money for you, so I think that's where we're having difficulty helping you. We don't want to encourage bad ideas.

Try your local board. We're not from your area so how would we know what the normal cost is to attend weddings in your area? People from your area will know better... or not.

Summer2011Bride

Just because they're common doesn't mean you HAVE to have one. If you know it's rude, tacky, and poor etiquette, then don't do one! Who knows, maybe your new trend will catch on and people will stop throwing these horrendously rude parties. Blech.

Madisonpenny

OP- I'm from Ontario too. They are usually around $5 a ticket. This is definitely a Ontario thing so most people on TK will think it's tacky to have a Stag and doe even though it seems to be okay to have a bridal shower, wedding gifts and engagement parties where guests bring gifts and therefore open their wallets and pay for the items that will fill the B&Gs new home.   None of the above mentioned parties are mandatory but optional including the Stag and Doe.  It's not mandatory to bring a gift to any of these parties either but everyone knows that those that didn't bring even a card will be talked about behind their back if they don't.
A stag and doe is NOT a NEW  TREND. They've been going on for close to a century, at least.

JoelandLeann

As a small town Ontarian, as well, I usually see the ticket at $10. However I refuse to go to stag and does because I think they are super tacky.

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_stag-n-doe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:d9be65ff-b6f8-4c64-8846-9573afdde22bPost:405ee859-6ae5-4ebb-ae9a-90ae2359c532">Re: Stag n' Doe</a>:
[QUOTE]OP- I'm from Ontario too. They are usually around $5 a ticket. This is definitely a Ontario thing so most people on TK will think it's tacky to have a Stag and doe even though it <strong>seems to be okay to have a bridal shower, wedding gifts and engagement parties where guests bring gifts and therefore open their wallets and pay for the items that will fill the B&Gs new home</strong>.   None of the above mentioned parties are mandatory but optional including the Stag and Doe.  It's not mandatory to bring a gift to any of these parties either but everyone knows that those that didn't bring even a card will be talked about behind their back if they don't. A stag and doe is NOT a NEW  TREND. They've been going on for close to a century, at least.
Posted by Madisonpenny[/QUOTE]

Yes, they are buying something that will be used to help the B&G start a life together, not to help them pay for their wedding.  Big difference.

zitiqueen

Very common in Ontario, except the one I was invited to (but couldn't attend) the money went to pay for the stag and doe party. Anything that was left over went to the bride and groom. These Canucks drink heavily -- not much was left over!

rayschicky

Thank you very much everyone for your input - you were all a big help. Also thankyou JoeandLeanne for your input even though you don't support Stag n' Does:) and to everyone else!. Kristy888 - holy crap I can't believe someone charged 50$! that I definitly have never heard of. I'm thinking if we make almost a grand we will be doing well lol. We are actually going to spend whatever money we raise on plane tickets for my FI's family who can't afford to fly here for our wedding (he is from the west coast) so that they could come, because as of right now his brother, and one set of grandparents cannot afford to fly/drive.

Thanks again everyone!

Madisonpenny

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_stag-n-doe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:d9be65ff-b6f8-4c64-8846-9573afdde22bPost:d8198d3b-ad9b-4890-b9f9-6746e411823a">Re: Stag n' Doe</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you very much everyone for your input - you were all a big help. Also thankyou JoeandLeanne for your input even though you don't support Stag n' Does:) and to everyone else!. <strong>Kristy888 - holy crap I can't believe someone charged 50$!</strong> that I definitly have never heard of. I'm thinking if we make almost a grand we will be doing well lol. We are actually going to spend whatever money we raise on plane tickets for my FI's family who can't afford to fly here for our wedding (he is from the west coast) so that they could come, because as of right now his brother, and one set of grandparents cannot afford to fly/drive. Thanks again everyone! :)
Posted by rayschicky[/QUOTE]

I think she was being sarcastic. 
A stag and doe is not hosted by the B&G. They are usually hosted by someone in the WP or a family member.

kristy888

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_stag-n-doe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:d9be65ff-b6f8-4c64-8846-9573afdde22bPost:02157e3b-8a5c-469d-97cf-7311a3d5c3b5">Re: Stag n' Doe</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stag n' Doe : I think she was being sarcastic.  A stag and doe is not hosted by the B&G. They are usually hosted by someone in the WP or a family member.
Posted by Madisonpenny[/QUOTE]
No, I was not being sarcastic. I have seen invitations to Stag and Does with $50 ticket prices and people in my circle have attended these things. I didn't say that the B&G hosted it, but they do walk away with thousands.