MOH question

twihard08

So I have my cousin and my little sister both as my MOH's but my little sister isn't helping me with any ideas or planning, and besides wedding stuff she isn't really even in my life as a little sister. I know we live 6 hours away and at opposite ends of the state, but shouldnt she still be involved somewhat. I text her every other day to tell her I love her and miss her. And told her before if she wasnt going to be in my life at least somewhat she couldnt be a MOH. What should I do? Wait it out since it is a while before the wedding, or what?

Jackief11

Well since you already asked her to be a MOH, you should probably grin and bear it, unless something happens and the Fit hits the Shan, if you know what I mean. Hope this helps, and understand maybe she has other stuff going on that you may not be aware of.

vegasgroom

You only have 19 months left, you need to kick her out of the wedding party immediately and de-friend her on facebook; find someone else to be the co-MOH who will do the job correctly!

SarahPLiz

VG is joking.

This is PRECISELY why you shouldn't pick your wedding party more than 8 months from your wedding. Also, you should ASK those closest to you, not assume someone wants to be in it, and not assume that your wedding will bridge that apparent gap. 

You don't need ot be doing any planning 19 months out. Seriously. Stop stressing or it will be a LONG 19 months. AndPlusAlso, it is not your MOH's job to help you plan. That's your FI and your wedding coordinator's job. If you go "all wedding all the time" this far out, you'll burn EVERYONE out, including yourself. 

Plus, trends change in 2 years time. If you decide anything now, then you'll stress out changing your mind so much. 

Your WP should be there for you emotionally, buy a dress, show up clean and sober, and conduct themselves respectfully on your wedding day. Anything else they do is gravy.

Repeat this to yourself several times a day, and you'll be fine: " This is MY wedding. No one will ever care as much about MY wedding as I do. This is ok. Others have lives outside my wedding and I respect that. I appreciate any assistance offered by others but do not expect any from anyone not paid to provide a service"

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_moh-question-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:dcfb815f-ba15-4dea-a44a-7244ed332779Post:56f4feaa-5d3d-4ed5-a6ea-15e5d8b109e8">MOH question</a>:
[QUOTE]So I have my cousin and my little sister both as my MOH's but my little sister isn't helping me with any ideas or planning, and besides wedding stuff she isn't really even in my life as a little sister. I know we live 6 hours away and at opposite ends of the state, but shouldnt she still be involved somewhat. I text her every other day to tell her I love her and miss her. And told her before if she wasnt going to be in my life at least somewhat she couldnt be a MOH. What should I do? Wait it out since it is a while before the wedding, or what?
Posted by twihard08[/QUOTE]
What were you told in your other thread?  Grow up.  Seriously.  MOH is an honor that you bestow on your hearest and dearest because you love them.  It's not a prize to be won.  There are no "taksies backsies" because you want to punish someone for "not being there for you."   Hell, you're only 20; how old is your little sister?  I'm sure she's got a lot more going on in her life right now than trying to worry about YOUR wedding, which isn't for the next 2 years.

If you need help planning your wedding, that's what your FI is for.  If that's too much for the two of you to handle on your own, there are people that get paid to do that.  They're called wedding planners.  If you want a list of MOH duties, here is one from a reputable source; Emily Post. 

<a href="http://www.emilypost.com/attendants" rel="nofollow">http://www.emilypost.com/attendants</a>

You'll notice that no where does it have "help bride plan her wedding" or "throw parties for the couple" listed.  That's because those lists that DO include those things are products of the wedding industry (compare this list to the list on theknot.)  The more stuff that sites like theknot convince you need to be done by your bridal party is more money in their pockets. 

sister2groom

I've always been best friends with my little sister but once she hit high school she got much busier, had a lot less time for me. When we do talk we have great heart-to--hearts so I know someday we'll go back to being joined at the hip, but for now she's got other stuff going on.

Since doing crafts and things with my little sister always stresses her out, if I were you, I'd be focused more on missing quality time with my sister I love and less on how much man-power she can bring to things like DIY projects.

estlouis

Please vote for my FI and I (Erykah adnd Ricky) to win a free engagement session:
http://katiestoops.com/wedding/

Twihard08, I think you should just be patient with your little sister and pace your planning. Realize that no one is going to be as excited about wedding planning as you are—and that's okay. I also think you should identify 2 or 3 things that you know she can a really god job at and just ask her to help with those specific things. I'm sure she's not avoiding you on purpose, probably just has other things going on in her life that takes priority. Hang in there it will get better!

HobokensFury

Honestly the only real job she has as MOH is to show up!  Everything else is extra.

P.S. Estlouis you can't avertise here.  That's a sure way for people to vote for anyone but you.

NillaWafer10

I'm usually not the grammar police, but I noticed a common error on your blog.  In your pictures section, you state, "so and so and I."  The correct pronoun is "me."  It's a common mistake.

As for your issue, you need to consider what this is going to do to your future relationship with your sister.  Weddings have a tendency to cause family rifts for years.  

It's also good to remember that your wedding means the world to you, and only you.  To most everyone else, it is just a special day.  

jessienjeremy

I think you should give it some time. You still have quite a while until your wedding.  My BFF had her younger sister as her MOH. They have grown apart and she really hoped it would bring them closer together.  I think in the end she regretted it to a point but still wouldn't have had it any other way.  Maybe your sister is going through stuff and feels like you should talk to her about her and not constantly about wedding stuff.