Engaged 25 hours, where do I start?

1crazywoman

Obviously I am uber-excited. Was hoping for this but since nothing happened over the holidays I guessed he wasn't as ready as I was. haha

Before I go dump a bunch of money on books, planners and magazines, I thought I'd get some direction from you Knotties! My friend was addicted to this site while she was planning her wedding. I know I have tons of time but I need to channel all of this excited energy!!!

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Minimax052910

First of all....CONGRATULATIONS!!! How exciting!!! I wish you best of luck with your wedding plans...this is a fun process.

First thing you should do is to agree on a date. You and your FI should sit down and agree on a date, check on your parents/close family to see if the date works. Then you start booking reception halls and ceremony location. 

Do not get your dress right away, as appealing as it may sound, do not get your dress until after you decide on where and when you're getting married. Some ladies here have long engagement of 2 years, regret getting the dress they got soon after engagement, simply because their style/taste have changed over the years. However, keep in mind, that if you want a dress ordered, you should get one at least 6 months before your wedding date or you should go with "off the rack" deal. Some dresses take longer than 6 months to order. But do not go more than a year prior to the wedding.

Good luck and happy planning!

I <3 Seabass

Congrats! I was addicted to wedding magazines. They weren't that helpful but I enjoyed looking through them. As far as planners I didn't think they were really necessary with all the free checklists and info you can get online. 

As far as where to start I would start with budget. Setting your budget will help everything else fall in place as far as size of your wedding, setting the date, etc.

There are some good articles here about getting started.

http://www.soulfulengagements.com/

aerinpegadrak

The Knot's checklist is really useful.  You need to get a basic vision of your wedding first: Intimate, or everyone's invited?  Casual, formal, somewhere in between?  Church or somewhere else?  Get on the same page about these with your FI (and you may discover that he has very different ideas than you), and it will make the rest of your planning decisions much easier.

1crazywoman

Thanks for all of your advice ladies!

FutureMrsBoucher

congrats, doll! that is so exciting!!

first i enjoyed being engaged for a little while

then i went out and bought a couple interesting looking wedding magazines. i enjoyed skimming through them with the ladies of my family and collecting ideas. one really neat thing that i've read is if you find something interesting in a magazine, cut it out and paste it into a notebook of your liking [: 

FI and i decided on a date and budget. we already knew where we wanted to get married (my parent's home, which they are more than happy about), so that wasn't a big deal, they even have enough room for the reception! we figured out a rough guest list and have been working on making it more precise (we're keeping it small). 

so far as planners, i've sat on the floor in front of the wedding section in Barnes and Noble for hours and honestly, the planners are kinda silly since you can get most of the stuff online for free now. i have a plain spiral bound sketch pad (since i am an artist and happened to have an extra one on hand; they're uber cheap at walmart) i've been pasting stuff in there and jotting down ideas that come my way [:

i'm still trying to figure out whether i want to do DIY flowers or hire a florist. i cannot wait to make appointments to speak to florists in the area (i live about 3 hours away from my parent's home/wedding site). FI and i are on a VERY tight budget (under $1000) but i think we can do it [:

oh, and one more thing: sales! other than the DRESS, getting stuff along the way while on sale has been a blessing to me. i got a large keeper at walmart and have been slowly stocking up on stuff: centerpieces (heart shaped clear glass bowls for floating candles $1-piece walmart), print-your-own invitations/coordinating thank you cards ($4.99/box of 50 invitations/rsvp cards, $1.99/box of 50 thank you cards and all envelopes at Ollie's), will be ordering bubbles rather than rice on theknot.com and personalized napkins as well soon.

wow! this is what happens when i can't sleep... rambling postings on wedding forums!! haha! i hope i helped a bit [:

fairy_diva

Congrats!!! 

Now take a deep breath and enjoy engaged.  LOL.

Talk with your FI and set a date. From there you can set a budget and decide on a venue.  Depending on how far out your date is you may be able to sit back and relax. Personally I haven't bought any bride or wedding magazines, I think they are a waste of money with the internet allowing me to see anything I want too.  Most those magazines have budgets way beyond mine anyway.

Comb the forums, listen to thse ladies. Some married ladies still post and have lots of advice. 

I bought a Martha Stewart wedding planner binder at Walmart on clearance for $9 just to keep everything together and organzied. Don't mind using used decor? Check the trash to treasure boards and eBay. Ebay is also a great place to get good deals on new stuff.  Etsy has handmade items.  I use my paypal plus card for my purchases, get my reward points, then pay off every payday.  I have a set amount I allow myself to spend every 2 weeks.  I have already gotten a $25 voucher I used toward my guest book, pen, basket & ring pillow. 

Becareful with rental prices, esp linens.  Most of us have found that buying our linens are cheaper than rental and we can resell after.  Check around  the above sitesfor used ones and if you need new go to www.linenablecloth.com

As for your dress, look and surf the designers websites, but don't buy one unless you are less than a year out.  I'm 9 months out and just started trying on dresses this month.

saisongbird

Again, congrats!

1) Yes, you need to pick a date, but ENJOY spending a few days/weeks on Cloud Nine.  I jumped right into planning because I knew we wanted a summer wedding but looking back it would have been nice to have relaxed and ENJOYED the new glow you're experiencing for a bit longer.

2) Set a budget.  Know what that budget is, and then...

3) Create a rough guestlist.  FI fought me on this one, he thought I was crazy, but you not only need to know what the money situation is but how many people you want to invite.  Money doesn't go as far when your guestlist is 200 rather than 75.

4) Decide on the feeling of your wedding?  Saturday night black tie in a hotel ballroom or Sunday on the beach will determine a LOT of your style choices.  Create a binder to keep track of everything,

5) Start looking at venues.  Depending on the length on your engagement, you may need to move quickly, but if your wedding is after Summer 2011 you may have time to wait on this one for a bit.  Anything sooner you may need to get a move on, depending on how venues in your area work and book.

After that, just pull pictures of things you like and bring those pictures when you meet with vendors.  Have fun!

goheels05

Congratulations!  Check out the Just Engaged board to chat with other ladies who are newly engaged, just like you!

Overall, great advice from the other posters, but I would like to throw in a word of caution about setting a date before choosing a venue.  My now husband and I got engaged in summer of 07 and wanted to get married in spring 08.  As we started investigating, we found out that every venue in and near town was booked every Saturday through August 08, so spring was a no-go.  Had we already "set our date" in stone, we would have been up the creek without a paddle.  

Instead, we decided to wait until Fall 08, and as we researched venues, we had in mind days we'd like and dates that were out of the question (for example, first Saturday of any month was out because my MOH is in the National Guard and she has drill those weekends).  It worked out that the venue we wanted had 2 weekends in the fall that worked for us, and then our date was set.  Had we gone the other way around, we might have had to settle for a 2nd or 3rd choice venue.

1crazywoman

Wow, lots of great advice! Thanks ladies!

kaelil

I'm sure you have already, but JUST in case, be sure to take the time to make the rounds to important people in your life and share the good news!
My fiance and I had to make about five house calls...but it was fun!

NBVitamine

Congratulations!!!
I waited years myself and know what you mean!
My advice, take the first week to let it sink in first!
My fiance and I announced it to everyone and then just basked in the romantic feeling of being newly engaged.
After about a week, we looked at a calendar and picked a date.
Then we set a budget... then doubled it, haha!
Then we called the church, reception venue, and started shopping and asking around for recommendations for other vendors in the area.

luckyme502

Our engagement is only six months.  We looked at venues before we set a date.  We knew we wanted a summer wedding, and a few dates in mind, but I agree with the advice of don't set a date in stone until after you make sure the venue you want is available. 
We planned what type of wedding we wanted, budget, then venue, then dress, and now I am working on florist, cake, DJ, and all of the little stuff.  
Congratulations!! 

emh777

Best advise I ever got - wedding magazines can be really expensive.  If you have a couple of hours - go to your nearest Boarders or Barns and Noble, take a stack of wedding mags., get a coffee and start flipping through them.  Buy only the ones that you really want - the ones with the best advise or the ones with the pictures that you really want to have and leave the ones that you don't need.  

Anthriel22

Congratulations!!!!  First and foremost you should figure out what your budget is going to be..as that will dictate all of your other decisions!  I agree with those who say to pick a venue first, with an idea of what time of year you would prefer to get married, and see whats available.  I did not have my heart set on a date, so it was easy for us once we found the location.  We just said, "whats available next summer?" and went from there!!!

As for checklists, the Knots is great!!!  I LOVE signing on and checking off to-dos!  Makes me feel like I am moving in the right direction.  I also bought a wedding planning book/keepsake.  I use that book to keep all the business cards for my vendors (it has a spot for that), and to keep all my paperwork for various things organized.  It has pockets for reception, photographer, attire, etc.  Of course, I am sure you can mangage something without the book!!

Have fun!!!!

skpaxton

well i know everyone is saying pick a date. but thats hard to do. I picked my date & no one had that date open as a venue so of course i changed it. I got a budget on a venue first thing. Looked & Booked a Venue & went from there. Venues will have lots of ideas on other things to. they recommened a GREAT photographer. then I went dress shopping so I knew how fancy my wedding would be. booking a Venue is a must do 1st thing! they book up so fast!

lharri12

Congratulations!  First, you need to soak it all in, be excited, be happy, and enjoy the moment!!  After that, I agree with a lot of the other brides, the first things you should do are: set a date, estimate your budget, and book the reception venue.  In most areas of the country, you need to book the venue about a year before the event, and in order to do that, you have to know your date and how much you want to spend.
Some other things you should do early on are decide on how many guests you want to have and how formal you want the wedding to be.  You don't neet to get your dress until about 8 months before the wedding, unless you want to buy one off the rack.
Have a blast!!  You don't want to look back and regret that you spent a lot of time and energy stressing!  I also recommend using theknot.com for the budgeting tool and to-do checklist.

adrenalin939

Congrats! )

First: enjoy being engaged! Celebrate with friends and family, and soak it all in! This time definitely flies by very quickly.

From personal experience, I wish I had worked on a guest list earlier because we found an amazing venue with a price we could swing with an available date.... we booked it and the limit was 120 people (we don't even know that many people... right?!). Wrong. Now we are working desperately to cut where we can because it turns out we know a lot more than 120 people. I know it doesn't sound fun, because it's not, but if you are looking at venues with maximum capacities, work on your guest list earlier than us!

GL!

Cricket127

Hi and congratulations!  I remember the initial feeling of excitement and the first thing I did (after catching my breath) as hit the library.  There I came across a book called How to Have an Elegant Wedding for $5,000 or less and for me, it was of immense help!  Once you decide on when you want your wedding (don't do it around any major holiday--prices go UP!) and what your budget will be, planning a wedding doesn't seem so intimidating.  It's also a great place to locate music and anything else related to the wedding!

If there is one thing you CAN and ought to do, be creative!  Is there a good photographer in the family or as a close friend?  Can you and your friends create your own table centerpieces such as wreaths and candles?  Do you know of someone who is good on the computer and could do invitations?  Depending on what your budget is and what you want to do, you might be able to steer the $ to where it really is important; the dress, food, and photos--the kinds of things you want people to remember. 

If you need more help, try some of the shows on We such as Rich Bride, Poor Bride, Say Yes to the Dress, and Amazing Wedding Cakes and you may get some inspiration from them.  Also, don't forget to excersize as it's a great way to blow off some steam/anxiety.

Be a stickler for the budget which I know is a downer but you don't want to be in the poorhouse either.  You want to relax and have a good time! 

Be well and happy planning!
Sarah 

mortgageman1212

I know there is lots of helpful resources out there but I would tell you to look into getting a wedding planner ours as already saved us her fee with the connections she has.

pjseabee

GUEST LIST.... if even just a rough draft.  Finding out who it is that's important for you to have present at your wedding is going to be a determining factor in what size wedding you'll have, which will then help narrow down your ceremony & reception venues options.  Guest list first, and then talk budget with each set of parents, then figure out a date once you know what you're working with.

vegetara

I'm going to mostly agree with the advice on here, but, will add more details.

The first two things should be your wedding date and your budget. Unless you have a reason to hurry up, I'd recommend an engagement of AT LEAST one year.

Secondly, your budget. Set this before you start looking/shopping. Talk to your parents and see if they are able to contribute, if not, then, it's whatever you can scrape together.

On here, there is a really great tool for recommendations on how to work your budget. It will tell you, for example, what is the recommended cost for your dress based on your overall budget. This is important to figure out BEFORE you go looking at dresses so that you can look at only ones that fit into your budget and not fall in love with something that's just not affordable. (Of course, you don't want to buy the dress until you have an idea of the venue because some dress styles are more or less appropriate for different settings.)

I got a wedding planning book free from JC Penney department store just for registering. It has pockets and forms, etc. and was very useful.