cold feet???

soccerchica604

I have heard of guys going through this but is it normal for a girl to get cold feet?

We're months away and idk if it's all the stress and the arguments that are getting to me but I am like freaking out like "what if this is wrong?" and "what if it doesnt work out?"

My fiance is in law enforcement and all we see are people getting divorced left and right and I actually had an emotional breakdown the other night about how I don't want to end up like them.

We've been having arguments because there are certain people in his family that are trying to tell us how to do things and I'm just sick of it. I told him that someone needs to tell them to butt out, but he doesn't want to cause friction because one of these people is his God mother. He's starting to give into certain things not thinking about how he's not the one paying and doesn't understand what the big deal is if it gets his family to just "leave us alone".

I'm just frustrated. There's so much that needs to be done and unless I ride his @$$, he doesn't help with anything. He's one of those guys who's like "eh...this is your thing" but yet he complains if I do something he doesn't like...fricken men man!

Is this normal?

WeSayIDo

Cold feet are totally normal BUT, you need to keep a good line of communication open with your guy. My fiance' and I are both in healthcare (he's an MD and I'm an NP). We see a lot of tragic things everyday. In the process of planning our wedding, I've been working full time and going to grad school full time while my fiance' lives in a different state working on his cardiology fellowship. To say the least, it's been a struggle. I honestly think that what's saved us is that we talk about everything. Sometimes we're both happy, other time one or both of us are freaking out that we're going to become a statistic divorce case bc we're both so career driven. The fact is that marriage is what you make of it. If you decide from the beginning that failure isn't an option, then it won't be. You just have to figure out how to get through it, no matter what.

I just got over my latest cold feet fiasco....we're 24 days from our wedding. It wasn't pretty but, once again, I vented, I got it all out and he listened and now it's better.

The other thing is that if you're one of those people who feels like she has to do EVERYTHING for the wedding or it won't get done properly....take this bit of advise......DELEGATE!!!! I'm a total type A personality and I had to recently delegate to others bc otherwise I could see myself having a total meltdown.....it was VERY difficult but now I feel so much better and relaxed. Your day will be over so quickly.....make the priority about enjoying every minute and making it an amazing memory with your new hubby!!

ginabean82

My fiance wanted to elope.  I was the one that wanted the wedding, so he told me at the start that he wants nothing to do with the planning of this wedding.  That being said, there is a ton of pressure put on me, esp because I work way more than he does, so it's frustrating when it's 7:00 at night and I just got home from work and I have to work on wedding stuff, when he's been home since 4:00 and just sitting around playing video games.  I gave him two responsibilitys; his tux, and picking his groomsmen.  Guess what?  He hasn't done either yet and we have less than 4 months to go!

I think it's just a guy thing.  Guys just don't care about wedding stuff.  Try not to get too carried away with details, and try as hard as you can to enjoy it.  

And if you really think about it, if you guys already live together and have been together for a while, marriage is just a piece of paper.  A legal form that says you are bound forever.  Your lives really shouldn't change much.  

JadziaDax

I hope you can work things out. I think having cold feet is normal but I agree with MilkDuds when she said that things need to get straightened out before you get married. Don't approach him when you're angry. Try to relax and tell him how much he means to you but that you need his help with certain things. And if you keep worrying about "what if things don't work out" and how you don't want to end up like the people your fiance sees daily, this might become a self fulfilling prophecy.

GinaBean- my Fiance hasn't picked out his tux either and we're less than 2 months out so I feel your pain!