1. It absolutely boggles the mind to see people with a guest list of 300 and a budget of $5,000. Are you freaking kidding me? Why do that to yourself? Cut the guest list to 10. Seriously. Parents, siblings, and you. Then give them the best party they've ever had. You don't even know 300 people, and no, the mailman and your third grade teacher do not count. Your wedding is not the "social event of the season"; not everybody has to be there.
2. You are not Martha Stewart. You should not cook your own wedding food (if you expect the guests to actually eat.) You should not make your own cake or cupcakes. You should not ask anyone else to do so, unless you're paying them. Seriously, hire professionals.
3. If every day brings another problem with your FMIL, your mom, bridesmaids, and/ or vendors, the problem is you. You're a Bridezilla and you need to chill the F out.
4. You get one wedding. Not a quicky courthouse wedding, followed by a "real" wedding a month or a year later. If you are tempted to do this, consider this question: why not get married every month? Or every day? When you finally stumble on the right answer, you'll realize you've been a selfish jerk and change your ways.
5. There is no “great venue with a view” at a “reasonable price”. The reason things are expensive is because everyone wants one, and the vendor can charge more for it. If you really want excellence, prepare to pay for it. You don’t go to the Rolls Royce dealership and ask for something “stunning” at a bargain price. Likewise, you can’t expect to have an amazing loft space in NYC with a view of the skyline if you’re only willing to pay $1000. Won’t happen. Part of being an adult is accepting reality. If the reality is your budget does not allow you to afford the venue you dream of, you either need to increase your budget or change your dream. One is infinitely more malleable than the other.