issues with best friend who is also my MOH

shaina925

So she flew in for the weekend (we live in different states) and we did a ton of wedding stuff as well as went out for dinner, chatted, ect.  So on the last day she was here I took her down to my venue to have lunch and she was using my phone for the gps since I wasn't 100% sure how to get there.  Little did I know she was going though my old text massages between me and my other best friend and she found a few where we said some mean things... not crazy mean, just about how we thought she lied about something, ect.  She was livid after reading these and I told her I was sorry but why was she reading my texts.  She said she wanted to see what that friend had said about the bridal shower... yet the texts she was referring to where from months ago.  She left very hurt and upset.  I appoligized to her and told her I did not mean what I had wrote those few months back.  She also found a text where I told the other friend I liked her more than my MOH... My MOH told me that she felt like the back up friend... I do not know what to do!

AbbynBrian13

Your MOH is supposed to be someone nearest & dearest to your heart. Why were you saying hurtful things about her? There's not much you can do other than say sorry. Whats done is done. On the otherhand I dont know why she was going through your messages. Weird.

MrsBarber2B14

Yea I have to agree with the other lady because that is very weird that she was going through your messages. -_- However, the MOH is someone is very close to you and all you can say is sorry. You seem like a very nice person, but just talk to her though.

renjon7798

I agree with pp. Either you are all very young and still stuck in HS bull roar or something deeper is going on. If you don't think enough of you MOH to confront her on what you and your other BFF were accusing her of lying about, then I have to question why she is your MOH and I'll bet she is too. Im with her on this one.

librababy

I don't know wth age has to do with anything but here's my 2 cents:

You are both wrong.  Personally if I were her I would be livid and probably would not want to be in your wedding anymore.  How could you talk so poorly about your MOH (someone who is supposed to be so important to you and so dear to your heart?)

However why would she go through your phone and read your personal texts? (even if she wanted to see what the other friend said about the bridal shower, she had no right to go through your phone.... she should have called the other friend to find out).

I suspect you guys are playing the nice card and aren't really as close as you both pretend to be.  She was suspicious of you and went through your phone.  You don't like her as much as you want and said some mean things about her to someone else.  Also, why would you save those texts if they are from months ago and you didn't mean it.  There is more to the story but I hope you guys do work it out.  Be honest with yourselves as well.  You need to apologize to her and go above and beyond to make it up to her and she owes you an apology as well.

shaina925

I am not very young, I am 28.  My MOH is no longer friends with the other BFF... so she is trying to also get me to  no longer be friends with her either.  MY MOH definitely snooped in my phone because these texts she read were from over six months ago.  I really didn't mean to say anything hurtful, all I really said was that I was annoyed how she didn't email me something when I asked her to and that her story didn't sound right about something.  I admit it was wrong for me to text those things, but the other BFF was egging me on a bit and she has a very powerful influence on me sometimes. 

I appoligized to my MOH for ever texting that and assured her she was extremely important in my life and I appreciate every single thing she has done thus far for my wedding.  I think she just needs some time to cool down.  She also really loves to start drama... and like I said she is not friends with that girl anymore so she interested in seeing our texts I guess.

shaina925

My MOH is usually very mature, she usually acts older than her age.  But, she loves the drama like I said and apparently she really wanted to know what was being said between me and the other girl.  I admit it was wrong on my part to text what I texted.

meg65

Whether or not I "like to start drama", I would definitely say something if I found out someone who was supposed to be my best friend was talking crap about me. To me, that isn't starting drama. 

That being said, maybe you were just frustrated with your MOH and venting to your other friend. It happens. Everyone's friends do weird things sometimes, and you love them anyway. Let her cool off, apologize profusely, hope she forgives you.

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_issues-with-best-friend-who-is-also-my-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:f775b75b-047d-4075-b94d-d884e96869aePost:5bad1202-4a86-4535-bec2-9b02ad01a3ba">Re: issues with best friend who is also my MOH</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>but the other BFF was egging me on a bit and she has a very powerful influence on me sometimes</strong>.  
Posted by shaina925[/QUOTE]
What? <div>I guess you need to learn how to make your own decisions then and not let "BFFs" influence your decision making.</div>

divinemsbee

Yeah. She snooped. I don't care why, she deliberately went through your phone. To me, that represents a huge breach of trust. If she thought something was up with your friendship then it was her responsibility to talk to you about it like an adult and not go back through months of text messages trying to find something to pin on you. It's not like the texts were just sitting there, she snooped, and she found the poison she wanted. Heck, it sounds like even if she hadn't she's have been pissed off at you for talking to the other girl anyway. If you snoop you deserve all you find because you couldn't just confront someone and talk it out. 

I have very good friends, but I'd be lying if I were to say that everything I had ever said about any of them was all sweetness and light and rainbows. Same with my family, or my mother, or even my FI, totally my nearest and dearest, but I'm not going to sit here like butter wouldn't melt in my mouth and say I've never said anything a little mean about anyone I care about. Nothing vicious, and I'm assuming that the texts OP was sending weren't. It happens, you get frustrated with someone and need to talk it out, you talk it out and it's over for you. I can't even think what I would do if confronted with a frustration I had with someone 6 months ago other than say, I'm sorry you found that, but I've been over it, hence why I have not brought it up to you.  All you can do is apologize, but don't ruin your friendship with the other friend just because your MOH wants you to. 

JordynLeighx3

You both need to have a talk and discuss what happened on both accounts.

shaina925

That being said, maybe you were just frustrated with your MOH and venting to your other friend. It happens. Everyone's friends do weird things sometimes, and you love them anyway. Let her cool off, apologize profusely, hope she forgives you.

.This exactly.  And exactly what divinemsbee said.