Are you and your groon having a private first look before the ceremony?

AngelaBaker87

I love the idea of having first look pictures before the ceremony. But then again it might be exciting if we waited to see each other until I walk down the aisle. I've heard that doing the first look beforehand and in private is best since there are all kinds of emotions and its kind of special to keep it private. I'd love to hear some thoughts on this! 

Bay21

this is a really great question. something my fiance and i will probably be debating almost right up until the day of!

While it's nice to think of that moment walking out and down the aisle toward your fiance and seeing that look on his face, I know that for my fiance and I it is going to be a seriously emotional moment. We know that we'll probably just wind up dissolving into tears of joy and we'll run into each others arms and kiss and just be kind of a mess: doing this down the aisle would undoubtedly sort of ruin that moment by me running to him and him leaping off the altar to me and probably cause people to laugh...not what we want...and then be just choking out our vows from our tears so nobody can understand us. 

For that reason (and since we may walk down the aisle together) we may wind up doing the first look. We'd rather not be total wrecks in front of everybody. We'll still obviously be emotional when we get to the walking down the aisle moment itself, but it will be more just pure excitement and smiles, less tears and blubbering joy. 

I think it really depends on how traditional you and your fiance are. If you're comfortable breaking 'tradition" and you know you'd rather keep that first moment for just you two (and the photographer of course!) then I say go for it. But, if you and he are a bit more traditional, and don't think you'll be total wrecks (unlike myself and my fiance) then maybe wait for the walk and just specify to the photog that you want that moment photographed thoroughly.

Just my thoughts! No clue if this helped you or not, hope it did! I'm curious to see what you decide and others say!

tldh

How does your FI feel about this?  DH was adamantly against doing a first look and his niece's assignment for the day was making sure we didn't accidentally bump into eachother in the B&B we were staying at.  He really wanted his first look of me to be me coming down the aisle.

missmckenzie2

We were planning on doing one, but there is a pretty large gap in between the ceremony and the reception so now there is really no point.

achiduck

We're doing a first look. Whether or not it will be 100% private is debatable. We're getting ready with the entire WP at a B&B so while I don't want them standing 15 feet away from us, I can't prevent them from looking out the windows.

jemmini6

I was against doing one until about 4 weeks before our wedding when we did our timeline with our photographer.  I decided that getting good pictures was more important to me than waiting till the ceremony to see each other, so we went with a first look.

I'm really glad we did, it was nice to see H to take away some of the nerves and have more time to spend together.  I have pictures in my bio of our first look, I loved being able to actually talk and hug and kiss when we first saw each other, which we wouldn't have been able to do during the ceremony.

I also didn't feel like it took anything away from my walk down the aisle.  I was still so happy to see him and still had that element of surprise for the rest of our guests.

mellimel19

I would like to do one. I've heard it's a beautiful moment shared between the two of you and that it gives you the opportunity for some lovely pictures. It also means that you don't have to spend the entire cocktail hour taking photos.

FI, however, is adamantly against doing a first look. He absolutely wants the first time he sees me to be as I'm walking down the aisle. As a compromise to still get some fun, creative photographs, I've been googling for some photos where people are on opposite sides of a door/tree/fence so you're still in the same shot, but can't see each other.

monkey0808

I've debated this too!! I really want that traditional moment of walking down the aisle and seeing my FI's face for the first time, so I think we aren't going to do a first look.  I always hear people say that it's a really sweet private moment for the two of you if you do one, though, so I came up with another way to achieve that private moment.  Before we leave the reception, we are going to have everyone leave the reception room to go outside and get all assembled for us to leave, and while they are doing that, we're going to stay in the reception room and have a private last dance.  It will just be us and the photographer, who will snap a couple of pictures in the first verse of the song, and then leave us alone.  I think it will be a good compromise....we'll get to have our moment alone, but still have the tradition of seeing each other for the first time when I'm coming down the aisle.

Wiscisbliss

We did not do this.  DH was set on not seeing me until I came down the aisle. 

We did have a few private minutes right after the ceremony that were really nice. 

CAB1217

We had a first look, since it would have been too dark outside to do it afterwards. We did not want to, but we also wanted to make sure that we got good pictures. It was a nice private moment (aside from the photographer taking pictures of it), and I don't regret it one bit.

AngelaBaker87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_groon-having-private-first-look-before-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:f7d48d7a-ba03-4f48-b773-e3dfa8401effPost:14dbfa30-c527-453d-aa98-c3debbd1bd3b">Re: Are you and your groon having a private first look before the ceremony?</a>:
[QUOTE]this is a really great question. something my fiance and i will probably be debating almost right up until the day of! While it's nice to think of that moment walking out and down the aisle toward your fiance and seeing that look on his face, I know that for my fiance and I it is going to be a seriously emotional moment. We know that we'll probably just wind up dissolving into tears of joy and we'll run into each others arms and kiss and just be kind of a mess: doing this down the aisle would undoubtedly sort of ruin that moment by me running to him and him leaping off the altar to me and probably cause people to laugh...not what we want...and then be just choking out our vows from our tears so nobody can understand us.  For that reason (and since we may walk down the aisle together) we may wind up doing the first look. We'd rather not be total wrecks in front of everybody. We'll still obviously be emotional when we get to the walking down the aisle moment itself, but it will be more just pure excitement and smiles, less tears and blubbering joy.  I think it really depends on how traditional you and your fiance are. If you're comfortable breaking 'tradition" and you know you'd rather keep that first moment for just you two (and the photographer of course!) then I say go for it. But, if you and he are a bit more traditional, and don't think you'll be total wrecks (unlike myself and my fiance) then maybe wait for the walk and just specify to the photog that you want that moment photographed thoroughly. Just my thoughts! No clue if this helped you or not, hope it did! I'm curious to see what you decide and others say! :)
Posted by Bay21[/QUOTE]

You make some great points here. I know it's going to be emotional either way. If we do a first look I think it will still be exciting and emotional when I walk down the aisle.. I mean we're getting married! =) I do want some picture of that special moment, I think that's a great way to capture the memory. =)

AngelaBaker87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_groon-having-private-first-look-before-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:f7d48d7a-ba03-4f48-b773-e3dfa8401effPost:32727802-b780-4b62-b3e1-e565d7007d8d">Re: Are you and your groon having a private first look before the ceremony?</a>:
[QUOTE]I was against doing one until about 4 weeks before our wedding when we did our timeline with our photographer.  I decided that getting good pictures was more important to me than waiting till the ceremony to see each other, so we went with a first look. I'm really glad we did, it was nice to see H to take away some of the nerves and have more time to spend together.  I have pictures in my bio of our first look, I loved being able to actually talk and hug and kiss when we first saw each other, which we wouldn't have been able to do during the ceremony. I also didn't feel like it took anything away from my walk down the aisle.  I was still so happy to see him and still had that element of surprise for the rest of our guests.
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]

I agree, I think it'll be nice to have a moment together before the cermony. Esp since we won't see eachother 24 hours before so that'll make it more exciting! =)

AngelaBaker87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_groon-having-private-first-look-before-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:f7d48d7a-ba03-4f48-b773-e3dfa8401effPost:ccae3a05-97c4-4a10-b7a7-3a5ecad19c32">Re: Are you and your groon having a private first look before the ceremony?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would like to do one. I've heard it's a beautiful moment shared between the two of you and that it gives you the opportunity for some lovely pictures. It also means that you don't have to spend the entire cocktail hour taking photos. FI, however, is adamantly against doing a first look. He absolutely wants the first time he sees me to be as I'm walking down the aisle. As a compromise to still get some fun, creative photographs, I've been googling for some photos where people are on opposite sides of a door/tree/fence so you're still in the same shot, but can't see each other.
Posted by mellimel19[/QUOTE]

Yeah I'd really love to capture that special moment! =) I also don't want to leave our guests for a long time to take pictures. I think if we were to wait until the ceremony, it might be too much! I don't want to be a reck and not be able to speak. =P

"I've been googling for some photos where people are on opposite sides of a door/tree/fence so you're still in the same shot, but can't see each other."

Me toO! I've seen some really cute shots where they are holding hands but aren't peeking!

AngelaBaker87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_groon-having-private-first-look-before-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:f7d48d7a-ba03-4f48-b773-e3dfa8401effPost:aaf24f61-77c6-4124-975a-94adc8d73280">Re: Are you and your groon having a private first look before the ceremony?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've debated this too!! I really want that traditional moment of walking down the aisle and seeing my FI's face for the first time, so I think we aren't going to do a first look.  I always hear people say that it's a really sweet private moment for the two of you if you do one, though, so I came up with another way to achieve that private moment.  Before we leave the reception, we are going to have everyone leave the reception room to go outside and get all assembled for us to leave, and while they are doing that, we're going to stay in the reception room and have a private last dance.  It will just be us and the photographer, who will snap a couple of pictures in the first verse of the song, and then leave us alone.  I think it will be a good compromise....we'll get to have our moment alone, but still have the tradition of seeing each other for the first time when I'm coming down the aisle.
Posted by monkey0808[/QUOTE]

Oh that's a great idea to have a special private dance before you leave! I love that.

Nina0528

Doing a first look was the single best decision H and I made. I love our pictures from those moments and it gave us a ton of time to take all of our pictures before the ceremony. We were also completely relaxed for the ceremony and enjoyed being able to spend all the time together (and with our whole wedding party) before the craziness started. It also enabled us to go to our cocktail hour and greet all of our guests (smaller wedding) so we could party the reception away.

ETA: ours wasn't totally private. Our wedding party was nearby.

J&K10910

We did, and I'm so glad we did.  We got to spend some time together before things got crazy.  We drove to the ceremony site together, which was awesome.  And I didn't even see him when I was walking down the aisle because I was crying the whole time because I'm a goon.  So...yeah, glad that we did it.

Bay21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_groon-having-private-first-look-before-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:f7d48d7a-ba03-4f48-b773-e3dfa8401effPost:ccae3a05-97c4-4a10-b7a7-3a5ecad19c32">Re: Are you and your groon having a private first look before the ceremony?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would like to do one. I've heard it's a beautiful moment shared between the two of you and that it gives you the opportunity for some lovely pictures. It also means that you don't have to spend the entire cocktail hour taking photos. FI, however, is adamantly against doing a first look. He absolutely wants the first time he sees me to be as I'm walking down the aisle. <strong>As a compromise to still get some fun, creative photographs, I've been googling for some photos where people are on opposite sides of a door/tree/fence so you're still in the same shot, but can't see each other.</strong>
Posted by mellimel19[/QUOTE]

<div>This is also a great idea if either the fiance or yourself winds up not wanting to actually "see" the other but still want to get those good photo's! <div>
</div><div>I've seen people blindfold the fiance too, and always thought that was cute because then you could still hug/kiss without having to reach around a doorway just to hold hands!</div></div>

Kate61487

we did not because H was adamantly against it.

To a degree I wish we had, but it's 99% because we missed a few expected photos and I imagine we'd have gotten them if we'd done photos before instead of rushing during cocktail hour. 

Walking down the aisle to see him was pretty amazing.  We both got teary-eyed, but had huge smiles and kept it under control.  He squeezed my hand when I got up there and whispered "you look beautiful" or something like that.  I imagine if we'd been alone we probably would have indulged it a little more, but frankly I'm glad that didn't happen.  My MUA wouldn't have been available to fix whatever I cried/rubbed off and I tend to get red/splotchy when I cry.  Better to keep breathing and hold it in!

Also, we got our alone moment after we walked back down the aisle.  We stepped into the sacristy and had a moment to just hug and kiss and say "holy crap we're married!" before the priest and our witnesses joined us to sign the marriage license.

Phoenixashes

When we visited the venue that we ended up going with, the woman actually suggested it. I had never even thought of it until then, but as soon as she described it FI & I both got a little misty-eyed and I definitely felt goosebumps.

Now being familiar to the idea, I love it. It's a chance to have an intimate one on one, a moment to step outside the events of the day and take each other in before being wed.

jacki8788

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_groon-having-private-first-look-before-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:f7d48d7a-ba03-4f48-b773-e3dfa8401effPost:4f14e9f3-62eb-424c-af9e-abb1df45f6cb">Re: Are you and your groon having a private first look before the ceremony?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Are you and your groon having a private first look before the ceremony? : This is also a great idea if either the fiance or yourself winds up not wanting to actually "see" the other but still want to get those good photo's!  <strong>I've seen people blindfold the fiance too, and always thought that was cute because then you could still hug/kiss without having to reach around a doorway just to hold hands!</strong>
Posted by Bay21[/QUOTE]


LOVE the blindfolding idea and the photos on opposite sides of a door etc! Thanks so much for sharing. FI is really against a first look but I think it would be fun and would definitely help ease the nerves... I'm going to see if he's open to one of these ideas! :)

amymaysa

We are doing one. A) b/c I think it will be nice to have that moment before and 2) b/c we want to do a good amount of pics before the ceremony due to timing, travel, etc.

FutureMrsSheeler

We are doing a first look, as well as taking most of the pictures before the ceremony. The ceremony is in the evening, so it just makes sense for us to do it that way.

Plus, we both wanted a first look to capture our expressions and feelings privately with the photographers

pinkaurora

FH and I have been wrestling with this as well since our reception is literally right across the street from the church and starts right away.  I don't want to spend a lot of time taking formal pictures after the ceremony (and I'll probably cry during the ceremony so it would take some time to fix myself up) I'm concerned my guests will feel rushed out of the church and then have to "stand around waiting" at the reception.  I think "first look" pictures could be amazing but FH is still not sure.

Michellea86

FI and I have been debating this as well, then I went to the bridal show and was talking to a photographer and when I mentioned our venue and timeline he said we should definately do a first look. I wasn't sure so I went home, explained the way it works to FI and he said he wouldn't mind it.

'm excited for that private moment as well, but I'm so traditional and no one in my family has ever done it this way so they're all looking at me like i'm crazy when I mention it. (especially my sister/MOH)

All in all, since FI and I are both okay with it, I think we are going to end up doing a first look!

EMarie777

I'm going to have my groom blindfolded and we will do "first look" without the looking lol  We will be doing like a last photo of us kissing before we are engaged, and if he wants to touch the dress he can lol But he won't be looking at me until I'm walking down the aisle.  That's our creative solution...I don't know if anyone else already posted that or not...

angele4200

We did not do one but I wish we had; DH did not want to do one. What we didn't realize (idiots I know) was that by the time the ceremony was over, it was dark out and there wasn't any place I knew of inside the reception venue to take pics without people seeing us. Knowing all this I would have tried harder to convince H.

Leah&JP

I am so glad that my husband and I had a first look.  It was such a special moment for us and honestly the ceremony was such a blur and went so fast I'm glad that we had that time before.  We had about 5 minutes of private time to just hug and kiss and "OMG, we are doing this!!!"  before taking pics with the rest of our bridal party and family.  Then we were able to enjoy the entire reception with our guests which went by WAY too fast, so I'm glad we didn't miss a minute of it for pictures!!

[Deleted User]

We're going to, for two reasons: One, both he and I are in the processional, and two, our schedule is tight enough that we're going to want to take pictures before the ceremony. Incidentally, we'll be able to have a little bit of pre-ceremony couple time as the guests are arriving and we're hiding out in the choir room :-)

naomikb

No, we didn't do a first look.  We slept at our house the night before, showered, and went our separate ways to get ready - me with the girls and my family, him with the boys and his family.  We didn't see each other all dolled up until walking down the aisle.  It was important to him, he was excited about seeing me coming down the aisle so I didn't want to mess with it.

cwaggoner07

We are debating this as well. Basically most of our wedding arguments (while monr) stem from me wanting traditional and he wanting artsy (he's a photographer). He wants as many good pics as possible, so he is all up for a first look. I still need some convincing....

daniandron

We're having one, due to lighting and timing. There of course are fans for either camp, but I have heard that a first look doesn't take away from the moment you walk down the aisle, in case that was your concern.