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Ugh

We got our first "added" RSVP last night. It was one of FILs friends and she added her daughter on to her RSVP. We didnt have her on the guest list because FILs never said anything about her. Now this lady is threatening to not come if her daughter can't (her daughter is 39 mind you) and FMIL is griping at me, saying she can have her seat and she'll just stand all night. Ummmm no, sorry, you're not going to stand through dinner and what not. Sorry Charlie...

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Re: Ugh

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    Angelface225Angelface225 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited February 2013
    Dear lord, FMIL sounds a little dramatic. Are you able to accommodate the extra person? There's part of me that would say no, just on principle. But it depends on if it's worth the drama to you.

     

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ugh-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:f80beaab-817c-4ac5-9e7d-4d343afd03d9Post:a37bf6fe-2ffd-4a7a-a854-298d4536777d">Re: Ugh</a>:
    [QUOTE]Dear lord, FMIL sounds a little dramatic. Are you able to accommodate the extra person? There's part of me that would say no, just on principle. But it depends on if it's worth the drama to you.
    Posted by Angelface225[/QUOTE]

    <div>This. How frustrating. Is FMIL paying for any of the wedding? </div>
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ugh-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:f80beaab-817c-4ac5-9e7d-4d343afd03d9Post:a37bf6fe-2ffd-4a7a-a854-298d4536777d">Re: Ugh</a>:
    [QUOTE]Dear lord, FMIL sounds a little dramatic. Are you able to accommodate the extra person? There's part of me that would say no, just on principle. But it depends on if it's worth the drama to you.
    Posted by Angelface225[/QUOTE]

    We actually lucked out because we got a "no" from FILs one set of friends last night, so we can squeeze the daughter in if we want, but it's still the fact of the matter.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ugh-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:f80beaab-817c-4ac5-9e7d-4d343afd03d9Post:666868ae-b8d6-4e5f-bf2f-381648c1d2c3">Re: Ugh</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh : This. How frustrating. Is FMIL paying for any of the wedding? 
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    Nope, we are paying for all of it ourselves. Well with the exception of the rehearsal dinner, they said it's their job to do that or we'd be paying for that too.
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    How ridiculous. And let me guess. You probably don't even KNOW this woman's daughter. Do you even know the woman?!  I am so grateful I never had to deal with any of these problems. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    edited February 2013
    Yeah... we had almost the exact same thing happen.  Auntie so and so just HAD to have her god-daughter along.  That one saw me have an irrational cry-fest on the couch because the guest list issues were stressing me out so badly.

    Worst part of wedding planning, imo, is the stupid RSVPs.  Wether they be blank, stuffed with extra surprises, etc.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

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    edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ugh-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:f80beaab-817c-4ac5-9e7d-4d343afd03d9Post:26539695-d65f-47b8-aad4-07aa83ea4c3b">Re: Ugh</a>:
    [QUOTE]How ridiculous. And let me guess. You probably don't even KNOW this woman's daughter. Do you even know the woman?!  I am so grateful I never had to deal with any of these problems. 
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    Nope, absolutely no idea who the girl is and I've met her mother twice in 3.5 years. FILs said they are both important to FI and have to be there (funny how the daughter wasn't on the original list) but FI has no idea who she is either, and doesnt even like the mom.
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    QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited February 2013
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ugh-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:f80beaab-817c-4ac5-9e7d-4d343afd03d9Post:adc8c42c-3f43-4e0d-97e0-4823b0a68316">Re: Ugh</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh : Nope, absolutely no idea who the girl is and I've met her mother twice in 3.5 years. FILs said they are both important to FI and have to be there (funny how the daughter wasn't on the original list) but FI has no idea who she is either, and doesnt even like the mom.
    Posted by shanding4787[/QUOTE]

    ha !!  I would honestly tell her that you are sorry you cannot accomodate the daughter and you understand that she won't be able to make it, and you'll miss seeing her at the wedding!</div>
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ugh-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:f80beaab-817c-4ac5-9e7d-4d343afd03d9Post:076a6d9a-20b0-405e-8bec-e41bd6c02059">Re: Ugh</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is obviously rude but just wanted to check on one thing. Does the guest know other people? Is it a long drive? Given the age of the daughter I wonder if she needs a companion for some reason. I mean if you gave singles a plus one then this really wouldn't be much different.
    Posted by scribe95[/QUOTE]

    This. My step-father has six sisters and we (the stepkids) are not close with any of them. My brother got married a few months ago and he did not invite the sisters, but invited my step-dad's mom. She does not drive at night so he extended the invite to anyone she would want to come with (not sure how he got that through to her...) so she ended up bringing one of her daughters and son-in-law.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ugh-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:f80beaab-817c-4ac5-9e7d-4d343afd03d9Post:076a6d9a-20b0-405e-8bec-e41bd6c02059">Re: Ugh</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is obviously rude but just wanted to check on one thing. Does the guest know other people? Is it a long drive? Given the age of the daughter I wonder if she needs a companion for some reason. I mean if you gave singles a plus one then this really wouldn't be much different.
    Posted by scribe95[/QUOTE]



    Yes she knows about twelve people that will be there and it's only a ten min drive from where they live.
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    I just got another one that added FOUR people on it. A coworker of FIs...wtf?
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ugh-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:f80beaab-817c-4ac5-9e7d-4d343afd03d9Post:951ceba0-e17d-41aa-bf48-2a7dfda7e9d3">Re: Ugh</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just got another one that added FOUR people on it. A coworker of FIs...wtf?
    Posted by shanding4787[/QUOTE]

    <div>And this is why I wrote in all the guests names on the reply cards. A little time consuming? Yes. But I had zero issues with people trying to add extras.</div><div>
    </div><div>I'm sorry you're having to put up with that. And yeah, adding FOUR people is absolutely ridiculous!!</div>
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ugh-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:f80beaab-817c-4ac5-9e7d-4d343afd03d9Post:af2bf07c-a5c5-46fa-825d-e60d26271344">Re: Ugh</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh : And this is why I wrote in all the guests names on the reply cards. A little time consuming? Yes. But I had zero issues with people trying to add extras. I'm sorry you're having to put up with that. And yeah, adding FOUR people is absolutely ridiculous!!
    Posted by Cackle6[/QUOTE]

    I knew I should have done that...
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    Jenni8412Jenni8412 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    edited February 2013
    In Response to Re:Ugh:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh:I just got another one that added FOUR people on it. A coworker of FIs...wtf?Posted by shanding4787And this is why I wrote in all the guests names on the reply cards. A little time consuming? Yes. But I had zero issues with people trying to add extras.I'm sorry you're having to put up with that. And yeah, adding FOUR people is absolutely ridiculous!! Posted by Cackle6[/QUOTE]

    Haha. This still would not have worked with some of our guests. My favorite one was an RSVP that said "possibly 6" when we had only invited 2... I didn't realize it was expected that you invite the best man's stepgrandchildren.
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    Ugh, this is exactly why we're printing our RSVP cards on our own something like this:

    2 places have been reserved in your honor.

    Guest 1: Jane Doe........Chicken_Steak_Vegetarian_
    Guest 2: John Doe........Chicken_Steak_Vegetarian_

    or

    Guest 1: Jane Doe........Chicken_Steak_Vegetarian_
    Guest 2: _______.........Chicken_Steak_Vegetarian_

    I know some people have serious b@lls and may still write in extra people, but I figure we can't make it any more clear than this.  It'll be a PITA to have to create these, but I'm thinking it'll save us some hassle in the long run.

    I just don't understand people who think it's appropriate to add extra people.
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