help!!

HoneyBear226

OK, so I desperately need advice, and I need it fast because I am meeting with the other bride tomorrow to discuss this... here's some back story:
I became engaged in February, set a date by probably March.  My fiance then asked his best friend to be his best man.  Lovely.  Well then his best man gets back together with his ex and proposes shortly after... good for them!  They also make a point to say, 'we don't to steal thunder, we are thinking 2012, etc etc etc.' In the meantime, they have been scouting numerous venues (i heard "this is the one" more than once)... fast forward to a few weeks ago, they have fallen in love with another venue and they are going to go with its only available date.  Just so happens that this date is the Saturday immediately following my wedding.  Oh, and my fiance is also his best man and I am a bridesmaid. 
I expressed my conerns that if they do this, my future husband and i don't have the option of a honeymoon! furthermore, can't we just have a little time when it's just about us? (selfish, i know)... The other bride (and my good friend of course) wants to talk with me tomorrow because that's when she has to put down the deposit.   what are my options here? am I crazy for being upset? can i tell her she can't get married at this venue?? please help.. i'm torn up over this... sorry it's so long winded...

ichellemay1

I wouldn't worry about it.  Besides, it's the week after yours - no thunder stolen.

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:f8a63cad-86ff-431e-8b15-5a8347899462Post:ffbc63e1-c165-4ea6-b846-e46242411772">help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]OK, so I desperately need advice, and I need it fast because I am meeting with the other bride tomorrow to discuss this... here's some back story: I became engaged in February, set a date by probably March.  My fiance then asked his best friend to be his best man.  Lovely.  Well then his best man gets back together with his ex and proposes shortly after... good for them!  They also make a point to say, 'we don't to steal thunder, we are thinking 2012, etc etc etc.' In the meantime, they have been scouting numerous venues (i heard "this is the one" more than once)... fast forward to a few weeks ago, they have fallen in love with another venue and they are going to go with its only available date.  Just so happens that this date is the Saturday immediately following my wedding.  Oh, and my fiance is also his best man and I am a bridesmaid.  I expressed my conerns that if they do this, my future husband and i don't have the option of a honeymoon! furthermore, can't we just have a little time when it's just about us? (selfish, i know)... The other bride (and my good friend of course) wants to talk with me tomorrow because that's when she has to put down the deposit.   what are my options here? am I crazy for being upset? can i tell her she can't get married at this venue?? please help.. i'm torn up over this... sorry it's so long winded...
Posted by HoneyBear226[/QUOTE]

You get one day.  Not a week.  Not a month.  You chose the date and place that works best for you.  She did the same. 

Your options are:

1) delay your honeymoon for a week so that you can attend your GOOD friend's wedding.
2)  go on your honeymoon, and tell your friend that you are sorry that you won't be there for her wedding.

You do NOT, under ANY circumstances, have the right to tell her to change her date or to find another venue.  Period.

vicki0508

you posted this 4 times? holy cow.

trix1223

Tide is 100% right.  What makes you think that you have any right to dictate her wedding date?  Because it's inconvenient for you?  Really?

You can either attend the wedding or not.  You can go on a honeymoon or not.  You can be in the wedding party or not.  Those are your options.  There is not an option to tell your good friend that she can't get married when she wants to.

HKD817

How would you feel if your good friend was saying this to you and everything was the other way around. You cannot tell someone to change their wedding date because it doesnt suit you. I'm not calling you selfish i just think you are a little out of line here. Your wedding day is all about you..but only your wedding day.

Tula214

I agree with the others here. You don't have to NOT have a honeymoon, or even a short one. Nobody says you have to leave for your honeymoon the day after your wedding. It's just a matter of wanting to go to your friends wedding, or not.

kimp67

Yep, either delay your honeymoon, come back early from your honeymoon or miss the wedding.  These are your only choices.