Scared of my honeymoon... I really need help sorry it's long

AmiG41209

I've been debating wether to write about this or not because it's embaressing but knotties are so awesome, maybe someone could help. I'm not nervous about anything related to getting married. I'm scared to death to go on my honeymoon because I'm terrified of flying. I've never flown before (how sad is that) because my fear is so bad. I feel like I'm going to throw up writing this now just thinking about getting on a plane. To make it worse, FI loves flying and traveling. He said he would undrstand if we needed to honeymoon close so I don't have to fly but I feel like that wount help anything. I can't keep going through life like this. I really want to get on a plane for him and for myself but I just don't know if I can do it. I've explored the medication route with my doctor, but if I'm worrying about it now, 9 mos away, I'm going to be a wreck when it gets close. I think I should see someone for a more long term solution, but I don't know how to go about doing that. Has anyone gone through anything similar or knows someone who has? I'm just really frustrated...

chayer227

I'd look into alternatives to medication, since that will just mask the problem temporarily, not fix it. I found a website that boasts about their amazing success rate with their video program - fearofflying.com  it's what they specialize in.  Another piece of advice would be to look for a local therapist - if you're willing and able to do so, insurance may even cover some if not all needed visits - who does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.  It's a form of therapy where you're taught to change the way you think about things, which therefore changes the way you react.  Flying is a strange thing, but it allows you to see and experience so many great things you'd miss out on.  If your FI loves traveling, he'll want to continue with you.  He's super sweet to try to make this easier for you, but I bet you'll be much happier in the long run if you're able to conquer this fear.  Good Luck!

[Deleted User]

I think you're right that medication isn't a long-term solution, especially if you are going to have a husband that enjoys travelling. Your doctor should be able to refer you to a behavioral psychologist for some counseling, or you could explore alternative things like meditation and yoga to learn ways to contol and calm your inner self. I think you have plenty of time to find a regimen that will work for you. It might be a combination of things that will do the trick, but it would be best to explore your options now so that you have time to work on this. I'm glad your FI seems to be very supportive with this issue. I'm sorry you're having to even feel like this. I wish you all the best.

ninnypooper

I flew for my first time the summer after my senior year of high school. I was SUPER nervous/scared and I was heading to California with 2 lay-overs. I made myself sleep the ENTIRE time and didn't eat anything but a bagel. Come teh 3rd flight, I made myself sick. On the way back I took dramamine. Since then I have flown a few times and hav been perfectly fine. All of that happened because of my nerves. I think finding things like pp, will definitely help you because otherwise your nerves will get the best of you. I flew alone my first time too. I'm sure FI/DH will help be a comfort as well. Try doing somewhere closer for your first flight...maybe the Carribean? Because getting a long flight for your first won't help either.GL and definitely don't feel embarassed to ask questions like this on here, because you're never alone!

candi516

I feel your pain!!! I HATE flying so much that whenever I have to fly, I pretty much down 2-3 glasses of wine (since I was also not able to get medication) and still get nervous but it definitely helps. I remember finally getting to our honeymoon spot and dreading the plane ride home It's not cool and can put a damper on things.  Since then, I've seen a doctor and was given an anxiety medication that is lasts only a few hours and I only need to take it in situations like flying. I would absolutely recommend seeing a therapist and talking more about your fear and where it comes from. This could be a big help in dealing with your fear. Don't be embarrassed, we're all scared of something. Good luck

danto

I used to fly weekly for work.  I once met a guy with a horrible fear of flying who also had to fly for work.  He had it well controlled with medication.  Every time he flew, I can't remember what he was one but he'd sleep, wake up, no side effects.  I don't think there's anything wrong with medicating for a flight.Can you try a shorter 'trial' flight (like to philly) just to see how you handle it - then you won't have to stress terribly for the next few months.I have a NO alcohol rule for the night and day before a flight (after a horrible hangover coming back from London).  I'd try medication - alcohol can really dehydrate you and, on longer flights, make you incredibly miserable.

AmiG41209

Thanks for the help ladies. FI is supportive but ist hard because he doesn't understand my fear, so it's kind of lonely. I'm glad to know some other people have dealt with it. I'm definitly looking into counseling for some help but I love the yoga idea too. The plan right now is to look into going to Bermuda because it's a 2 hr flight and somewhere FI hasn't been yet. Hopefully it all works out...