I asked all of my BMs a year in advance and had no issues with relationships. I also asked each about costs of BM dresses and their budgets at that same time. Not one expressed any issue about the cost of a dress from AA, ranging from $100-200, plus possible alterations costs. All was good.
One of my BMs, my oldest childhood friend, is in a bit of a tight spot money wise, but not due to job loss, illness, pregnancy, moving, etc. She simply isn't the best with money (never has been, I know that was a risk I took) and that's fine, it's her money, she can do what she wants with it and I know that, but I am worried she might tell me she can't afford it now and may even ask me to pay for it.
I have feared this since asking her, even though she assured me that the cost wouldn't be an issue, and I didn't want to not ask her assuming she couldn't afford it. I also hate for her to "drop out" because she can't afford the dress now, but I just don't think that's right for me to pay for hers and ask the others to pay for their own, KWIM? The dress is the one thing I asked of them to buy and I have tried to be so easy about it: an AA dress in Petunia, knee length, any style or fabric. I realize they all have to travel too, but again, had anyone mentioned the cost being an issue, I would have re-evaluated my choice of designer.
Should she ask me to pay, would it be awful for me to say,
"Friend, I would have loved to pay for all of my BM's dresses, but unfortunately FI and I did not budget for that. We still have several vendors to pay yet. Also, I totally understand times are hard, but I would feel wrong paying for your dress and not the other girls'. Everyone is having to penny pinch right now and I just don't think that'd be fair."
Please tell me if I am being irrational about this, because I have tried so hard to consider their needs and not be like the crazy girls that come here with ridiculous demands. For all I know, it won't even happen and she's got it covered, but I'd just like to be prepared and not make a hasty decision like agreeing to pay for it on the spot.