Newly engaged

greenturtlelove

Hi everyone! I'm new here,my boyfriend JUST proposed!!! I was going to golooking for a dress tomorrow, any tips?

futurepivko

first off, congrats! very exciting!

i know its tempting, but before running off, i suggest you take a few days and start looking up ideas. what do you want for a venue? seasons? theme? even dresses....what you dont and do like. most important.......set a BUDGET. dont run to a store, try on a $5000 dress, fall in love with it, then realize you havent set your budget. talk to other people, like your mom or friends, and see if they can come along and give you opinions and support, and make a make an appointment.

i have a BFF whose engaged (got engaged 6 months after me, and getting married 6 months after me) and she was going to have her wedding on the beach. she ran out the day after she got engaged, brought her FI along (yeah....Im SURE he wanted to go) then bought a dress that was "beachy" that was "perfect for the beach." now she isnt having her wedding on the beach due to the costs, and because she wanted a big wedding (and this would be ultimately, a destination wedding). So now she has this unwanted dress she has to either sell or keep it, but cant buy another dress until she sells it and she already went over-budget with this "beachy" dress.

What I am trying to say is PLEASE. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE wait a few. Let it sink in, do your research then go shopping, so you dont make a costly mistake.

[Deleted User]

Congrats! Enjoy your engagement.

greenturtlelove

Thanks for the tips, I don't have a budget because my dad is paying LOL I've been looking online for a while now and can't wait to try on dresses

futurepivko

i was fortunate in that way also, but i wasnt allowed to go to crazy. they were like 'show me a price and we will decide', but im not selfish and didnt go crazy. ended up finding 'the dress' at davids!.

take a group of people with you who will be honest, but not mean. also, dont invite TOO many people.

take one of your own bras with you, but they may also offer you one...however, that one has probably been tried on by many people and that can cause them to stretch out. just bring it to be safe.

go with an open mind, even though you have done research, let your consultant suggest ideas too. oh, and most importantly, have fun!

Habs2Hart

Did your dad tell you that you have no budget? 

My dad is also paying, and I have a budget.  If you don't have some sort of guideline, then you will likely end up spending TONNES of money on unnecessary things that could be useful, like down payment and stuff. 

Sit down with your dad and get a figure.

greenturtlelove

 My dad said $10,000 is OK, I might go to Kleinfelds had anyone gone there? The bra thing is a good idea I don't want to wear a used one eew

Manwaithiel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_newly-engaged-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:0c3883ff-444f-41e0-8257-7e82d78fbe9dPost:36372e5e-a1cd-4e6c-90a6-58dbe5a7e68d">Re: Newly engaged</a>:
[QUOTE] My dad said $10,000 is OK, I might go to Kleinfelds had anyone gone there? The bra thing is a good idea I don't want to wear a used one eew
Posted by greenturtlelove[/QUOTE]

Ummm, kay. So you DO have a budget. I can tell you right now that it's not a big one and I think Kleinfeld's is probably out of your price range. Most of the their dresses start at $1000 at the least. That's 1/10th of your budget.

soontobeschooley

$10,000 for the wedding?  Or $10,000 for the dress?  That makes a HUGE difference!

I would listen to Futurepivko before jumping into buying the dress.  Its just a few days.  What's the rush?

naomikb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_newly-engaged-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:0c3883ff-444f-41e0-8257-7e82d78fbe9dPost:727bc7c8-4874-4384-ae0d-a245d283997c">Re: Newly engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Newly engaged : Ummm, kay. So you DO have a budget. I can tell you right now that it's not a big one and I think Kleinfeld's is probably out of your price range. Most of the their dresses start at $1000 at the least. That's 1/10th of your budget.
Posted by Manwaithiel[/QUOTE]

I think there was a misinterpretation here... she said $10,000 budget, not $1000 so she should be fine at Kleinfeld, assuming that is the dress budget and not the wedding budget.  Enjoy!  With $10K you can get a gorgeous dress!  You're lucky to have your dad buying it and giving you such a budget... make sure to thank him huge!

greenturtlelove

Oh I know how lucky I am believe me! I did mean $10,000 for the dress. Thanks for the advice, maybe I will wait a little bit and look around before buying. I was just soooo excited last night about the proposal.

mkrupar

I can't believe your father's willing to throw away $10,000 on a dress for an 18 year old bride.

Manwaithiel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_newly-engaged-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:0c3883ff-444f-41e0-8257-7e82d78fbe9dPost:22988d42-65a6-4fee-bc0d-c44b060e4311">Re: Newly engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Newly engaged : I think there was a misinterpretation here... she said $10,000 budget, not $1000 so she should be fine at Kleinfeld, assuming that is the dress budget and not the wedding budget.  Enjoy!  With $10K you can get a gorgeous dress!  You're lucky to have your dad buying it and giving you such a budget... make sure to thank him huge!
Posted by naomikb[/QUOTE]

Oh. For the dress.

That was about as clear as mud, but whatever.

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_newly-engaged-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:0c3883ff-444f-41e0-8257-7e82d78fbe9dPost:2bc541ba-7ca0-45a9-9ef3-075ed08c7c57">Re: Newly engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Newly engaged : Oh. For the dress. That was about as clear as mud, but whatever.
Posted by Manwaithiel[/QUOTE]

It's ok Manwa, she's not really clear at all. Try reading some of her other posts.

greenturtlelove

I don't see how my father finance's and how generous he chooses to be is even an issue here.

NatandIsaac

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_newly-engaged-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:0c3883ff-444f-41e0-8257-7e82d78fbe9dPost:82e29f14-6076-44d7-af95-3c203a66c253">Re: Newly engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]I can't believe your father's willing to throw away $10,000 on a dress for an 18 year old bride.
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>If he's paying for a wedding instead of college, then it's a steal!</div>

artbyallie

Honey, your wedding is in 2013!!! STOP all planning right now and DO NOT go dress shopping. Seriously. You have almost 3 years before you get married so take a chill pill already. Your tastes will change, the styles will change, and your size might even change. So, hold off on the $10k dress, please. (I'd love to have that much for the entire wedding...)

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_newly-engaged-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:0c3883ff-444f-41e0-8257-7e82d78fbe9dPost:171ea465-8f44-4425-9836-9c45aa954c7a">Re: Newly engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't see how my father finance's and how generous he chooses to be is even an issue here.
Posted by greenturtlelove[/QUOTE]

Because we've read your other posts.

greenturtlelove

I understand you've read my other posts, but how much my father chooses to spend on me have nothing to do with tips for dress shopping. I hit 2013 on accident, we are getting married in 2012 and I know that's still a long ways off but I have every right to look and even buy if i so choose, you don't have to be mean.

Habs2Hart

Your wedding is over a year away.  Styles may have changed drastically.  You can go look if you want, but I wouldn't buy right now.  Wait until a year at least out.  The 2012 spring/summer lines of all the designers will be out and you might find something you love more.

greenturtlelove

Thanks I am probably going to wait like I said earlier.

aerinpegadrak

I think it's a mistake to start shopping for a dress more than 18 months from the wedding, and that you should wait to order until as late as you possibly can to avoid having to pay extra alterations fees.  And that's advice I'd give anyone, not just a crazy 18 year old with Daddy's credit card.

calindi

Everyone has a budget.  In this case, your father wants to pay for things.  Great!  And he is willing to spend a lot of money.  Great! 

But there's still a "budget" - you don't want to get a bunch of vendors and a venue locked down and find out that he thinks you're spending too much money.  What would he say if you hit $100,000?  I have a feeling he'd say that's a bit much.  Even if he doesn't want to give a firm number, it's a good idea to work on a set budget together of what you both think is acceptable. You can readjust it as you go, but it's good for planning purposes to at least have discussed a set budget.

greenturtlelove

I do have a budget for the dress if you read all the posts. I don't however have a budget for the entire wedding. My father is extremely well off and has told me that I don't have to worry about prices of things but he did cap me at the dress. I just noticed you were on the other board, what are you following me?

oceana919

Based on your other posts, at this point in your life (considering your age and exhibited level of maturity), I think you should be more concerned with looking for prom dresses, rather than wedding dresses.

figment23

The only time you should own a dress that far out from a wedding is if it is an heirloom or there was some sort of special circumstance.

In my case, my mom was dying of cancer and it was her wish that she get to see me choose a wedding dress and she wanted to buy it for me. I don't care if I don't wear it for 10 years or the dress is out of style because my mom got to help me pick it and that is much more important.

That is, however, a little different than just wanting to have a dress RIGHT NOW. You don't get to leave with it anyway, you won't see it again for 6 months.

Just wait, you're in designer price range and every designer's collections will be totally different next year. You don't want to be seen wearing LAST YEAR'S dress, do you? (note sarcasm, other posters.)

calindi

GreenTurtle, most of us regs skim all the boards.  When there's someone acting a bit crazy, we tend to click their name to see their bio.  Then it says where they've posted.  So yeah, I clicked to see what other crazy you were spewing.

What I just offered was honest, good advice.  It wasn't critical of you - a lot of people have parents who don't quite want to set a budget, but later on it becomes stressful because eventually you do have to know how much you're going to spend.  You spend a certain percentage on this, a certain percentage on that.  It can be tweaked, of course, depending on your preferences, but it really does a lot of good to know where your Dad would draw the line.  Just sit down and ask!  Let him know how grateful you are, and that you're trying to figure out how much you're going to spend on each aspect so it would be good to have a ballpark figure for the whole thing.

For what it's worth, my family's rather well off, too, and my parents have already told me that they'll be honored to pay for my wedding.  But that doesn't mean they want to spend their entire retirement savings on my wedding, and nor should they.  By getting a reasonable number that they expect to spend, it helps you in planning out what's important to you in terms of budget.

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_newly-engaged-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:0c3883ff-444f-41e0-8257-7e82d78fbe9dPost:2869a037-93b8-4692-b55d-bafb4dc4de15">Re: Newly engaged</a>:
[QUOTE]I do have a budget for the dress if you read all the posts. I don't however have a budget for the entire wedding. My father is extremely well off and has told me that I don't have to worry about prices of things but he did cap me at the dress. I just noticed you were on the other board, what are you following me?
Posted by greenturtlelove[/QUOTE]

Yes, we all are actually because you're posting bad advice for other knotties, you're an 18 year old who wants to go buy a $10,000 dress, you think your FMIL shoud "just butt out". I mean c'mon, if you were on the outside like us you'd be following this trainwreck too.

tlbattaglia

I just want to say thanks for all the good entertainment today.  This girl needs to get a clue before the following:
1. dress shopping
2. giving advice
3. planning...ANYTHING. 

Thanks again.  My work day has gone by fast reading your posts.

greenturtlelove

I don't care if you don't agree with some of my opinions or whatever but I don't see how my budget is any of your concern. I am waiting to buy the dress, I appreciate the advice and as I said before I was just suuuper excited about being engaged that I wanted to do everything right away.

aerinpegadrak

Actually, many people post on multiple boards.  I haven't responded to your posts on any board I don't check on a daily basis.  And if your budget isn't our concern, don't mention it.  People have every right to respond to anything and everything you say in a post.