Should I ask my cousin's permission??

lizznjohn

My HB and I have had nothing but problems with my engagement ring, so we are in the market for a new one.  (Want the story- see my previous post!)

I found a ring that I fell in LOVE with! Problem is: It's a $12,000 ring! Wayy out of buget.

So my HB had a great idea!

I am the youngest granddaughter of my mother's mom and the only grandchild of my father's mom and stepmom. As they passed away, I was left with all of their fine jewelry. Our idea is to have a piece from each grandmother melted down to form a new engagement ring for me.

My only hesitation: Should I ask my 2 female (only) cousins before I do this? The jewlery was left to me, but I don't want to step on any toes. My mawmaw was their mawmaw too. Any suggestions? Thanks!

divinemsbee

Were they left anything, or were they left things through whichever parent they have on that side? I'll admit it seems weird to me that all of the fine jewelry went to one grandchild, but, I don't know your family situation. 

As the oldest daughter of the second/youngest child (my dad), I realize that I probably won't see any of my favorite grandmother's jewelry, it will probably all go (or be taken by, long family drama story) my aunt (oldest child, only daughter) and given to her daughter and granddaughter. Your cousins have already probably made their peace or have tried/are trying to with however your grandmother's estate played out. While I think you're probably coming from a good place, there's no reason to bring it up to them. If they get their feelings hurt about it later, they probably would have still gotten their feelings hurt about it when you asked them. If they told you that they preferred you keep the jewelry intact, what good would it do you or them?  Unless you're offering some of it to them, it's yours and you should make it your own. The only other thing I can suggest is that maybe you don't melt the metal down and just reset the stones in a new setting, which would preserve them a little more. 

j-harvey

 

AurorasEnvy

Honestly, I wouldn't ask them.  The jewelry was left to you (not them) and I assume either way (whether you melt it down or not) they won't be owning any of it.  

I think it's a nice idea.  What about also melting down your current e-ring and then adding the pieces into that?  It'll cut down on the amount of jewelry you'd have to melt.

scstar17

I think making the ring is a wonderful idea and you don't have to ask your cousins. 

Just a question though, is it normal to be proposed to with a ring from your own family?  It seems it should be from HIS famiy.  Otherwise you already own it. 

Peledreamsofrain

Hrm, this is a tough one.  I think it depends on the dynamics of your family, to be honest.

If my sister/cousin did this with my grandmother's jewelry without giving me a chance to see if there was anything I wanted to preserve, I'd be crushed. 

Another option is to look into just having a ring re-sized for yourself.  My fiance had his great great aunt's engagement ring resized for me, and proposed with it.  At first, I was shocked, and didn't know what to feel.  I was overwhelmed by the age of it, and also felt a bit of mourning for the shiny standard engagement ring that I was expecting.

Now, I love it, and can't imagine having the standard engagement ring.  Every time I look at the beautiful ebony shield with the diamond triangle center, I feel the support of a successful marriage.  And everyone comments on it!