Bridesmaid dress disaster...HELP!

kwicks

So... our wedding is September 15th, about 7 weeks away. I got a call today from one of the bridesmaid who says she and another bridesmaid no longer feel comftorable in their dress because they have gained weight and while it fits, it isn't flattering. My stomach immediatly fell to the floor, as I want everyone to be happy and comftorable, but I also want to keep my vision. Also, there are two other bridesmaids who are happy with the dress. Not to mention the wedding is only 7 weeks away. They e-mailed me another dress but honestly, it was ugly. It looked like a dress straight off the rack from Target. Don't get me wrong, I wear target clothes all the time, but not in my wedding. What to do!!!

maribeth721

Well first off I will say, is the dress your BMs are wearing going to have any impact on your wedding day? Nope. I do think it's kind of lame they are just telling you this now. I've been in weddings where I hated the BM dress I was wearing, but it's not about me, so I let it go. Not everyone is that way unfortunately. If they are willing to purchase the second dress, I would let them wear it. Is it the same color/length/fabric as the other BM dresses? Can the dress even be ready in 7 weeks? If they would be more comfortable in it, I don't see the harm in letting them wear it if it fits the above criteria.

christinamarie325

Can the dresses they bought be let out? Can they get a larger size. perhaps used somewhere? Can they throw some spanx on? 

kmmssg

how long have they had their dresses?

Maggie0829

I want to know how long they have had the dresses as well.  I think it is a bit rude of them to bring this up now.  I understand wanting everyone to feel comfortable and beautiful but in my mind since they decided that the dress was good however long ago it was purchased but only now realizing that they don't like it isn't a great excuse for them to not wear it or get something similar.  Honestly, I have hated many a BM dress but I wore it because it wasn't my wedding it was my friends and if that is what they wanted fine, but not everyone is so easy going.

Before letting them purchase this other dress, I would see if the dresses can be altered so that they fit them better.  I would even offer to pay for alterations if it was within your budget.  If they can't be altered, I would work with them to find another dress that you all like.  And depending on where they get it from they may have to be willing to pay a rush fee to get it in quickly.

Elle1036

My response would honestly be something like "wear whatever dress [in the right color] you want" as long as I didn't have to be involved in choosing it.  But then, I wanted as little to do with those details as possible and I had never planned on having everyone in the same dress.
I can see why you're annoyed, but I agree with everyone else.  If the new dress they have picked out works as far as color and fabric, I would just let them wear it.  Honestly, there are other things for you to worry about.

QueerFemme

I would ask them to do alterations to make it more comfortable for them.  I wasn't very picky on what dresses my BMs could choose, but changing everything 7 weeks out would irritate the crap out of me.

EK2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_bridesmaid-dress-disasterhelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:1f86a10f-dea8-4c3d-8993-8e11987a84c7Post:96829589-d5f7-4be2-a087-773ccce087ce">Bridesmaid dress disaster...HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]So... our wedding is September 15th, about 7 weeks away. I got a call today from one of the bridesmaid who says she and another bridesmaid no longer feel comftorable in their dress because they have gained weight and while it fits, it isn't flattering. My stomach immediatly fell to the floor, as I want everyone to be happy and comftorable, but I also want to keep my vision. Also, there are two other bridesmaids who are happy with the dress. Not to mention the wedding is only 7 weeks away. They e-mailed me another dress but honestly, it was ugly. It looked like a dress straight off the rack from Target. Don't get me wrong, I wear target clothes all the time, but not in my wedding. What to do!!!
Posted by kwicks[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>What dress is it, and what do these two BMs not like about it? Because mostly likely, the problem they have can be fixed either with stable undergarments or a slight alteration, which would be cheaper than a second dress.</div><div>
</div>

JoeAnne2013

Tell them about the awesome invention called Spanx.

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_bridesmaid-dress-disasterhelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:1f86a10f-dea8-4c3d-8993-8e11987a84c7Post:949b0b0e-9d39-46f6-b53f-36c909857614">Re: Bridesmaid dress disaster...HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE]Tell them about the awesome invention called Spanx.
Posted by JoeAnne2013[/QUOTE]

at this point,I think this is the best solution

lumilumi

.....you could tell them 7 weeks is enough time to lose some weight    

searush

you can ask them to lose some weight, you are the bride and you have all the say in your wedding, and should stick to your original plan, ask them to wear shapewear or something similar to fit into the dress, and no one willl notice how the bridesmaid look on the day, only th bride is the star

smithanne196

if the dresses not fit, you may alter or buy new dresses, my  dresses took about 15 days from them  www.fashionwithme.com, and they did rush order for me

mrsmtothek

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_bridesmaid-dress-disasterhelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:1f86a10f-dea8-4c3d-8993-8e11987a84c7Post:a01b951a-3c0b-4a9a-a5d5-9e798e3e6513">Re: Bridesmaid dress disaster...HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE].....you could tell them 7 weeks is enough time to lose some weight  :)  
Posted by beverlyluis[/QUOTE]

<div>Totally agreed!!! These ladies need to quit being lazy and buck up. They agreed to these dresses a long time ago. It would've been one thing if they hated the dresses upon purchasing them, but to want a different dress just because they've gained weight? Just based on principle that is ridiculous. </div>

kwicks

Thanks everyone for your responses. We got the dresses back in March, so quite a while ago. I know it sounds silly, but the dresses kind of do have an impact on the wedding. It's a vintage carnival theame, and the dresses fit perfectly with everything.  They have tummy's, and they feel like they look pregnant/the dress isn't flattering. I asked if it was the size, and they said it was just how it looked. I think I am mmore upset because instead of talking to me about it a while ago, they went to the two other girls and tried to get them on board so I would feel pressured to change it. If they get another dress, I feel bad for the other two girls who will have to buy it, as I don't think the current dress is one that can be easily matched. My plan is to e-mail them offering alteration suggestion, spanks suggestion, and explain my position on wanting to keep the dress. If they still feel horrible about it,.... well, I don't want to think about that! Here is a pic of the dress:
 

kmmssg

Whatever you do, do NOT let those other two girls get talked into buying another dress.  I do think you need to take that bull by the horn and stop that talk in its tracks.

orangehills

That dress is really cute, keep that! If they don't want to wear it just because THEY don't look good, well.. I wouldn't even know how to react to that! I mean, 7 weeks to watch what they eat, and wear spanx is plenty. It's not like they need to look like models, as long as the dress fits, that is what matters. It is a hard situation though, because you don't want a dress to become a big thing between a friendship...

emeejeeayen

It's entirely healthy to lose 1-2 lbs a week if you simply exercise and eat healthy. If they're upset they gained weight I'm sure they wouldn't be upset about losing weight. They've had nearly 5 months to tell you they're uncomfortable with this dress; it's not fair to you or the other bridesmaids to try to change it now. If push comes to shove, I would just suggest that they're still bridesmaids but perhaps they don't stand up next to you during the ceremony? I don't know. 

MgnMr

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_bridesmaid-dress-disasterhelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:1f86a10f-dea8-4c3d-8993-8e11987a84c7Post:a01b951a-3c0b-4a9a-a5d5-9e798e3e6513">Re: Bridesmaid dress disaster...HELP!</a>:
[QUOTE].....you could tell them 7 weeks is enough time to lose some weight  :)  
Posted by beverlyluis[/QUOTE]

<div>Amen!  I would be more than irritated.  I agree with the ladies who feel the dresses should be altered, and reminded that 7 weeks is plenty of time to drop a few of those added pounds.  </div>