Help!! Im Paying for EVERYTHING for my wedding party...

shekellie

I am paying for Everything for my wedding party....  Including shoes, dresses, acessories, and their rooms at the resort...  The only thing I am not paying for is there hair, but I am also giving them the option of doing it themselves or having it done and it will only be 40 to have it done (Thank God for friends!)....   It is the same for the groomsmen...  overall we are spending about 400 on each... When I think about this, I become very torn on getting them gifts or not. I dont want to be that person but I feel as though I have saved them A LOT of money as it is, for things that they can all use again... (Everything is very cute and resuable!!) Any help or advice?!

Avion22

I get that your budget is really low....but it's not difficult to find a cute picture of you with each of your bridesmaids, put it into a nice photo frame, and hand-write a really nice and thoughtful note telling them how much their friendship and support means to you.   

You need to thank them SOMEHOW.  It doesn't have to be expensive, but it should be personalized (like something you would give them for their birthday), and should NOT be related to the wedding.   Hand-made stuff is greaat.  

csweaney

Like the previous post, I think it might be nice to get them something nice and inexpensive (like a photo frame) just to show your appreciation for their support on your big day. Doesn't have to cost more than $10 per person, but they will appreciate the thought and sincere note.

maxaroni81

When I've been a BM and MOH, I had to pay for the big stuff like dress, shoes, hair, and makeup.  And while I spent a lot of money to be part of the bridal party, I didn't mind because it's what you do for your friends.  And while each bride thanked me with a gift, to be honest,  I don't even remember what I got.  I think I got to keep the jewelry?  I would have rather had my dress, makeup, accessories, and lodging be taken care of.  

samantha24p

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[QUOTE]When I've been a BM and MOH, I had to pay for the big stuff like dress, shoes, hair, and makeup.  And while I spent a lot of money to be part of the bridal party, I didn't mind because it's what you do for your friends.  And while each bride thanked me with a gift, to be honest,  I don't even remember what I got.  I think I got to keep the jewelry?  I would have rather had my dress, makeup, accessories, and lodging be taken care of.  
Posted by maxaroni81[/QUOTE]





Every time I've been a BM same thing I payed for my dress shoes hair makeup, and had gotten a piece of jewelry as my gift, I think you've done plenty for them. That being said if you want to get them something small you can get them a bracelet or pair of earrings for like $10 at a Clair's or something.

devilishangel61401

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_help-im-paying-for-everything-for-my-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:1f90978d-ccd1-4c6b-8cac-d6a0eb8b6c91Post:e49edfbd-8e35-477e-b0d2-eb5f8a603cda">Re: Help!! Im Paying for EVERYTHING for my wedding party...</a>:
[QUOTE]When I've been a BM and MOH, I had to pay for the big stuff like dress, shoes, hair, and makeup.  And while I spent a lot of money to be part of the bridal party, I didn't mind because it's what you do for your friends.  And while each bride thanked me with a gift, to be honest,  I don't even remember what I got.  I think I got to keep the jewelry?  I would have rather had my dress, makeup, accessories, and lodging be taken care of.  
Posted by maxaroni81[/QUOTE]


This in spades totally agree with this post.<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />  I do think its really generous and sweet of you to take care of the expsenses. I've been a bridesmaid something like 6 times I think I've lost count and I've always had to pay for my own attire, jewlery, hair etc. I dont remember what I got as a thank you either, but I would've prefered to have help paying for my dress and such

shekellie

Thank you all for your input! They dont know about the jewwelry yet, so I thought about giving that to them as part of their gifts, and I've also seen tutorials for the personalized hangers that I have thought about doing...

The two weddings I have been in I didn't get a gift in one, and still paid for all my stuff (which I didnt mind) and the other she used our jewelry, dresses and shoes as our gift...

I am not on a low budget by any means, but with 9 attendandts on each side I have already put a lot into it... I think the hangers, or even like and 'BM emergency ki't and a TY note (thank you for the suggestion on that) will do it! Thank you all!

Avion22

Yeah, but a "Bridesmaid Emergency Kit" is something they'll only use for one day (if that).  It's not personal AT ALL.  Neither is jewelry if it's someting that you pick out for all of them and it's something they HAVE to wear for the wedding.

It is really nice of you to pay for all of these things.  But at a MINIMUM you should write a personalized note of thanks to everyone.  To me, that would be way more meaningful than the same tote bag that 8 other girls got....

mbrischoux

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[QUOTE]When I've been a BM and MOH, I had to pay for the big stuff like dress, shoes, hair, and makeup.  And while I spent a lot of money to be part of the bridal party, I didn't mind because it's what you do for your friends.  And while each bride thanked me with a gift, to be honest,  I don't even remember what I got.  I think I got to keep the jewelry?  I would have rather had my dress, makeup, accessories, and lodging be taken care of.  
Posted by maxaroni81[/QUOTE]

I've never been a bridesmaid, but if I was, I would absolutely feel appreciated just by having these expensive, one-use items taken care of and save myself a whole lot of money rather than having a gift.  The stress relief of not having to shell out so much would be a gift within itself.

Cortney1982

If the bride was paying for my dress, shoes, accessories, and resort, I would not expect anything more.

lpowers1118

If you are spending that much I think it is completely understandable to not spend another 10 bucks on some inexpensive item that will most likely get tossed in the end.  I think your generousity has been more than enough to overlook a gift. 
To be honest, I have never had this offer myself and would have loved that instead of a tote bag with my initials on it.   GL in your decision.

CMJC10

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[QUOTE]If the bride was paying for my dress, shoes, accessories, and resort, I would not expect anything more.
Posted by Cortney1982[/QUOTE]




Couldn't agree more! I'm not getting my girls a gift.. I'm buying everything just like you are & I think that's more than enough. I've never had that done before & I'd appreciate that more than a little gift..

KrynnerBear

Try and personlize the jewlery, like with a monogram charm. You could also do little bath kits. I've been a MOH and all my expenses were paid for which was nice, but I would have at least appricated a card saying thank you as the bridal party take on a lot

As for your groomsmen, try and work with your groom unless your super close to them as well. They are much harder then girls to shop for but consider gift cards with a card

Hope that helps! Good Luck!

Red2111

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_help-im-paying-for-everything-for-my-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:1f90978d-ccd1-4c6b-8cac-d6a0eb8b6c91Post:e3b1eb78-2073-4c39-b8bd-64c3864424ea">Re: Help!! Im Paying for EVERYTHING for my wedding party...</a>:
[QUOTE]If the bride was paying for my dress, shoes, accessories, and resort, I would not expect anything more.
Posted by Cortney1982[/QUOTE]

^ this.  especially on the Bridesmaid side.   you said they don't know about the jewlery so imo you could claim that as the gift if you really feel the need to give one.

also, instead of a thankyou note, you could also just tell them thank you instead and not waste the money on a little card thats gonna be thrown away after 5 seconds of reading.

if you want to get them something more, a $10 gift card to Bath and Body Works will go a long way and their body sprays and soaps are soemthing that majority of girls love.

for the groomsmen, i'd say either go with a pocket knife, pocket multi-use tool or a multi resturaunt gift card *nods* 

babe915

The only thing I paid for for my BM were their jewelry. For their gifts I'm making them clutches that are all the same but personalized everything else. One is a writer so shes getting a journal and a nice pen and her box im putting it in is shaped like a book. My MOH loves cheetah print, shes getting a cheetah box with some cheetah candles(on sale for .66 ea), etc. They are under $40 each and unique to each girl. I was going to do just the jewelry but i think its so much more fun to make it personal. I would really do one thing that is personal for each girl since what you are already doing is awsome enough, it could even just be a candle in their favorite scent.