Asking to borrow a dress... etiquette?

[Deleted User]

 One of my good friends has the most beautiful wedding dress and I would love to be able to borrow it for my special day but I feel weird about asking because it is such a personal thing. I have mentioned how much I love it and she hasn't offered. I don't want to put her in an awkward position so do I ask? I would offer her money to borrow it and have it dry cleaned and such. Another friend right off the bat offered me hers to use but I don't really like it! Any advice?? 

momofayden

Wedding dresses are pretty sentimental for alot of women.  If she loaned it to you and something terrible happened like spilling red wine all over it....BAD.  I would purchase my own dress. 

psichick

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_asking-borrow-dress-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:24f906d2-54f2-49a0-81e6-d10655fcf537Post:462d3832-79ee-4a7a-8096-b6e8a35f2965">Re: Asking to borrow a dress... etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]JIC? 
Posted by jlauren1[/QUOTE]

Just In Case. it's quoting someone just in case they delete their post later on. usually done on threads where the OP will get flamed.

aerinpegadrak

Also, people will usually quote an OP who has a low post count no matter what the subject, since eople with fewer posts are more likely to delete and leave late-comers confused.

You hinted, she didn't take the bait, so it's time to go shopping.  Don't press the issue.

noodle_oo

No, you can't ask to borrow a friends wedding dress.  It is extremely personal, probably expensive, and she may be saving it for her daughter or have other plans for it.  Unless she's specifically said to you that she's planning to sell it or get rid of it, do not ask.  It is just awkward for her.  Get your own dress!!! 

If she had offered, it would be different, but just because you like it is not reason enough to possibly offend her by asking for it.

[Deleted User]

Thanks for the advice. I do understand how personal it can be. I wouldn't have a problem with someone asking me but I decided that I will just leave it alone and see if I can find something similar. 

wifeandmommy0609

IMO I would never ask to borrow anyones dress. I would ask where they got it from and see if i can find another simpler but finding that right dress takes alot of time for most people and then just having someone ask to borrow yours is like a slap in the face. IMO.

I would be very offened if someone asked me to borrow my weddind dress unless i plan on selling it but if i wanted to keep it i would be offened..

If you know she is going to SELL it that is another situtaion. Ask her if you may buy it ONLY and ONLY if you know she wants to SELL her dress. She might even lower the price a bit.

anne.azano

I think the only time you can ask to borrow a dress is if it's in the family.  For example, my mother-in-law's dress was worn by her daughter and her son's wife.  She offered it to me as well, since it's kind of a family tradition, but it didn't really suit me, so I declined. 

Don't put your friend in a situation where she has to say no to you.  If she hasn't taken your hint, she doesn't want you to wear it.  Some people are really casual about dresses (trashing them, selling them, etc).  But, for others, they can carry a lot of meaning.  It sounds like your friend is in the latter category.