Keeping Your Dress a Secret

joleri23

I don't know why, but I want to keep my dress a secret from my guests. People keep asking me what it looks like and when I tell them I'm trying not to tell anyone, they look at me like I have two heads. Is it really weird that I want to keep it a surprise? Should I just give in and start telling people? I just want my guests to be blown away when they see me.

artbyallie

Most people are not really going to be able to picture it correctly from a description, anyway. It's not like telling them the shape or that it has lace or beads or tulle is going to give anything away, since there are so many wedding dresses out there.

misssunshine17

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_keeping-your-dress-a-secret?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:2c2c474b-690f-4beb-9f8a-0e44d719372ePost:665727d0-d4f9-41f3-9064-4a67b4dd21cb">Re: Keeping Your Dress a Secret</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Most people are not really going to be able to picture it correctly from a description, anyway. It's not like telling them the shape or that it has lace or beads or tulle is going to give anything away, since there are so many wedding dresses out there.</strong>
Posted by artbyallie[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto. Just be vague. I do think telling people its a secret makes it sound a little weird. Say something like, "Oh! I just love my dress. It makes me feel beautiful!" then change the subject, no details given. </div>

achiduck

I think as long as you don't show people pictures its fine. Any time someone has told me what their dress looks like and then I've seen it in person it's always different and not what I pictured.

AurorasEnvy

I agree, they won't be able to picture it, and by the time your wedding comes around I'm sure they will have forgotten all about what you said anyways.  Plus, it certainly isn't anywhere near as big of a deal for them as it is for you.

saacjw

I agree with pp's that if you describe it, it's pretty hard to picture- especially if your descriptions involve the word "thingie" as much as mine does. I actualy tried to keep it a secret and then I sent a picture of the dress to my FMIL, who proceeded to ignore my requests to not send it on, and emailed it to the ENTIRE family. (I really do love her, but there's a reason we don't tell her secrets). I figure, even though the picture is of me in the dress, it's not altered yet, my hair is not done, the accessories aren't in place and so by the time the wedding rolls around, the entire family is either going to remember it and think it looks nicer, or totally forget what it looked like. My FI's aunt is the only one who I really expect to remember it, and I'm pretty comfortable with that.

ejheart

IMO, it's kind of weird when girls want to keep it as this big secret. Personally, the only person that it needs to be a secret from (for me) is my FI. I mean, I'm not going to show the whole world, but I'm also not going to hide it from people who want to know (close family/friends).

My reasoning for this is exactly what the above poster said. By the time the wedding gets here, most likely, no one will remember it. Plus, even if they do, it's going to look completely different. Plus, as another PP said, no one really cares about this as much as you do. They're going to be blown away by you, regardless.

Sapphire1002

Actually,  I understand wanting to keep it quiet. It's your day and you should be able to keep that part a secret for sure...  As PP mentioned, be vague..

pgcp

I'm not trying to be mean, but instead help you maintain perspective.  Unless there is something really unusual about you dress, (bright color, super sexy, a really unusual fabric, it's some sort of traditional ethnic costume, it's so full you can barely walk down the aisle, it lights up...) it is unlikely your guests will be blown away be your dress.  I have never been blown away by a bride's dress, and I'm old .  The one bride that blew me away with her entire look was my ex-sil.  Her dress was extremely simple but the white against her Greek coloring, and the cathedral length veil with her almost black hair, was stunning.   But then again I am super fair and blonde.

Cookies Mom

Keep it a secret! A secret shared is no longer a secret - my friend shared info about her dress and her future SIL told the groom...I agree with the PP - be vague. Tell 'em you love your dress and change the subect

met16

It's all about what YOU want. If you want your dress a secret- do just that!

kleslater

My mom doesn't even know what my dress looks like. I had to do all of my dress shopping and fittings on my own. So I had tried on 4 dresses and took pictures and emailed them to a few family members asking their thoughts. Then I went back in and tried on the dresses again. And I told them I wasn't telling anyone, and they would have to wait until the day of.....

So I don't see anything wrong with not sharing!

Sydney91

I don't get the whole secret about the dress thing. My fiance saw my dress before I bought it and he'll probably be there when I pick it up and try it on again to make sure I ordered the right size.

kristinanddan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_keeping-your-dress-a-secret?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:2c2c474b-690f-4beb-9f8a-0e44d719372ePost:ae148d18-cae7-492c-9253-97a53fc41cd6">Re: Keeping Your Dress a Secret</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not trying to be mean, but instead help you maintain perspective.  Unless there is something really unusual about you dress, (bright color, super sexy, a really unusual fabric, it's some sort of traditional ethnic costume, it's so full you can barely walk down the aisle, it lights up...) it is unlikely your guests will be blown away be your dress. 
Posted by pgcp[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This. Aside from your groom, no one cares nearly as much as you think they do.

</div>

lyns86stc3007

My mom,grandma& FMIL are the only ones that have seen my dress. I want to keep it a secret so I'm going to, simple as that.

sanschag

I'm keeping my dress a secret too...I just give a vague description, as others here suggest, and then when people ask to see the photos I tell them that the photos didn't come out well because of the shop's lighting. No one is offended by that! The description keeps them happy and I agree with what others have said that what they picture won't be anything like your dress.

kaypea11

I totally know what you mean about keeping it a secret!  Aside from my mother and sister, nobody else knows what my dress looks like and that's the way I like it.  There are so few nice surprises in this world, so why not keep a few if you can?  It doesn't matter if the surprise/secret/ultimate reveal of the dress isn't a big deal to others, it is to YOU, so don't let people make you feel weird about wanting to keep it to yourself for whatever reasons you do.  My bridesmaids think I'm weird, too, for keeping it from them of all people, but I don't care and I want to have that special moment with my best gals all together the morning of the wedding when I finally get into the dress and they see it for the first time (great bonding moment), much like I will have when my groom first sees me walking down the aisle in it.  So don't be persuaded to give up the goods if you have always wanted it to be a surprise!

KRoark87

I only showed pictures because what the dress actually looked like when I was trying it on is completely different from what it's actaully going to look like. People will get the idea but the finished product - because I'm altering the waist line from natural waist to empire waist - is going to look really different. So I didn't have a problem with it.

islandmonkey8

I also am keeping my dress a secret from everyone except my two sisters and my mom who were there when I tried it on.

I don't think I always planned on keeping it a secret, I always thought just my fiance wouldn't know. But, then my dad said he doesn't want to see it until that day because he wants to be surprised like he was for my mom. So, since my dad doesn't want to see it, no one can. I don't want anyone else to see my dress or what it looks like before my family, so if my dad who means the world to me doesn't want to see it, then only my sisters and mom will know.

I don't think there is anything wrong with not telling anyone.

Anytime someone asks me, I just tell them that I'm not telling anyone because my father and fiance and even I want a surprise that day and I don't feel that anyone else should see or knows what it looks like before the two most important men in my life do.

cruz21311

No worries. It's your wedding day and your dress. I'm doing the same thing because I don't want anyone to change my mind about going vintage and I want to surprise them as well. Enjoy the giving them suspense no matter if they look at you sideways :P

smilenislandgirl

I am keeping my dress a secret too! Why not, it just adds to the excitement of the day, my mom doesn't even know what my dress looks like and she was totally cool with it.