I previously posted back in feb about my MOH how she is my sister and she isnt helping and is huffing and puffing if i ask her to go with me anywhere or ask her to help me assemble anything. I also vented about how I offered to host her baby shower but she invited 90 people and it was a bit too much for me to handle. Well crap hit the fan last night...
Here is the whole story!
First of all she invited 90 people and expected me to do it all by myself. I told her that I needed help if she was planning on having that many people. So i suggested I will do all the food, plates, etc. Her friend Jessica can do decor, my mom will do the cake, and one of her bfs sisters do the games. She tells me that she is not going to ask his family for any help that its "too many chefs in the kitchen". Ok. So then she says Jessica is going to do the decor and the games. I say ok thats fine. Then I tell her where does she expect to have a 90 person baby shower? She suggests a park. I said and where do you expect all 90 people to sit? She said they can bring lawn chairs.
So after park after park after park, she tells me that she doesn't want to do it in the east or south part of town because she doesn't want her bfs family to have to drive so far. They live 2 freeway exits from my dad in the north side of town! its NOT that far its a MAYBE 45min drive! So we decide to go with a park that is in between. Only problem is it has a $70 rental fee for the picnic area. I ask her if she would go half of this with me.
While I was at my gmas last week my gma told me that my aunt offered to help and my sister told her no that I didn't need help! I was soooo mad!
We haven't even gotten to last nights drama.
So she emails me last night and asks if instead of people getting her cards that she just will throw away to get a book instead and write a message to the baby inside it. I told her that was an amazing idea! I wish I had thought of that with my children. Then she says do you think its too much for me to have a diaper raffle? I tell her yes that she is already requesting a lot from people with bringing a gift, a book, and now diapers. I told her that I got so many diapers without having to ask and she will get them regardless. She tells me that "diapers are kind important and that she needs all she can get." I tell her if she is "worried about diapers then she needs to start buying them now". She says "I just don't think that it's too much. People can participate in whatever aspect of the baby shower they want to. And I'm not really asking more because books and cards can be relatively the same price...and of they give me a used book the thats even cheaper for them. I just think its more of a unique aspect...instead of the same boring card (which honestly I throw away). Where as a book is useful." I reply with "i think a book is more personal then diapers. You want diapers because basically you don't want to have to buy them. I understand they are expensive. I just don't see why you have such a need for a raffle. and what do they win? I will have spent a lot on this shower and probably so will jessica so if you want to do a raffle you are going to have to buy the gift for the winner. I can't put forth anymore money then I am now. My unemployment ends this month and I still have a wedding to plan for."
Her friend jessica i remind you is doing ALL the decor ALL the games. 3 games. And the games my sister picked out are not simple easy games. She wants to play baby price is right which requires Jessica to buy baby items for the game. Then give them to my sister after the game is over. The 2nd game she wants to play is Pin the Sperm on the Uterus! I do believe you don't find that game anywhere and that you have to make it or search real hard for that. She doesnt account for the prizes that Jessica is having to put forth also because she is doing the games.
But the story gets worse...
She responds with "Fine. I'll buy the gifts. It's not really a big deal. Honestly, I'm getting really frustrated with you because you originally offered to throw my shower and now you are acting like its such a big deal for you. You have put a lot of aspects of the shower on OTHER people. I understand you guys are only living off one income and you are planning a wedding but if it was going to be such a big deal you shouldn't have offered to throw it in the first place". I write "i knew you were going to do this f****** throw it in my face" She says "I'm not throwing it in your face but you're making it into a big deal when it doesn't really need to be. And I honestly find it tacky that you asked me to pay for the venue and the prizes for my OWN shower"...I reply "I am doing what I can. but when you invite 90 people and then you want me to do games, food, decor, prizes all by myself off 1 income you are being inconsiderate and the fact that you told our aunt NO you don't need help pisses me off. I need all the help i can get K. I don't have a job right now I'm planning my wedding and i don't have extra money to toss around I paid for my own f****** shower every god damn penny of it. you 2 both have jobs and you can't lift a f****** finger of help because you are so damn selfish."
She says "I asked you what you needed help with. You said games and decorations. So I asked someone else to do them. Aunt asked me if we needed help and I said no because I thought all you needed help with was the games and decorations and I already gave that part to someone else" I say "any little help is ok just because jess is doing decor doesn't mean a few more decors won't help."
I then tell her that I will talk to her later because she has pissed me off.. then she posts on facebook for everyone to comment on "I was unaware that when you had a shower (whether it be a baby or bridal shower) that the person(s) of honor were supposed to pay for things...wow! So frustrating." And all her little friends are commenting. Here are a few direct comments..
"No there not friends and fam is supposed to pay for it WTH tell em what's up!, No they arent!! I never payed for anything for mine..,I'd be disappointed if I had to pay for my own shower. I didn't bring a single thing nor would I expect anyone else to if it was their shower.seriously who's rules are those? Ive never heard of such a thing you are getting ripped off!!"
after speaking to my best friend matron of honor about this whole crap last night she finally commented on my sisters post. She said she needed all night to think about what she wanted to say to my sister "FB was not the best place to post this. How can you let all these people bad mouth your sister? She is doing her best. If you're going to post stuff you need to post the whole story. She isn't asking you to pay for every thing. Yes she offered to throw your shower but that doesn't mean you can get every thing you want Love. 90 people is a lot. Food, drinks, etc. will be expensive and Melissa is trying to plan and pay for her wedding as well. Try to compromise or ask Edgar's family to pitch in."
I don't think its really that hard to pay $35 and a damn prize! Her and her bf have a job and throw their money around like its nothing! In the last 3 months they have bought jerseys, kindles, a wii, going to casinos and yet she expects my family and myself to bend over backwards for her. her boyfriends family doesn't have to life a damn finger.
So after about 2 hrs she then sends me this email :
Idk what to say. If you need help, then I don't know why you can't just pick up the phone and ask for help from someone other than me. A shower is supposed to be thrown celebrating someone (in this case me and the coming of baby). That person shouldn't have to be involved in the planning/paying if they don't want to be. I wouldn't ask you to help with the games and prizes for your bridal shower..I just think its rude. Yes, I do want to have a diaper raffle to get as many diapers as possible...is that such a wrong thing...??? If you don't want to throw the shower or be involved, then just let me know and I will handle it.
She obviously doesn't get it. ITS NOT ABOUT THE DIAPER RAFFLE!!!! She is so ungrateful, so selfish, always with her hand out with a gimmie gimmie gimmie attitude. She has been this way her whole life! She treats my mom like crap yet expects my mom to fix her car, give her money, and help her when she needs help.If my bridesmaids called me and asked me to put forth money, an item, food, whatever for my bridal and bachelorette party I would do it in a heart beat!!!! No questions asked.
All over $35 and a $20 gift card... I am at the point where I don't want to do this anymore because I feel taken advantage of. I feel hurt. I feel sorry for her. I don't like who she is as a person. I feel like I'm so caring, compassionate, understand, willing, grateful, appreciative and I shouldn't help someone who doesn't see that.
Another aspect is she HATES my fi, yet she wants us to fork over the money he worked hard for to please her.