| | So I asked my good friend from college to be in my wedding (this Saturday) to walk my godmother up the asile and read a bible passage during the ceremony. My parents are very fond of this friend, my mom even told me that he should be the one to walk my g-ma on the day of. I made it very clear how important this woman is in my life and how important he is to me, hence why I picked him.
We've been in touch about attire (just a suit not tux save him money) and times of the RD and day of.
Originally in college years ago (we graduated in 04) we joked about having each other on "our side" of the wedding such as he would be on my side in a tux with the BM's. As the years have gone on I've grown closer to other girls who I picked instead, but really wanted him to be a part of my day.
He never sent back his RSVP card to the wedding. His invitation went out to Mr. C. Jones. I had to call him and ask if he was coming...he responded yes and my date's name is A... None of my many other single friends are bringing dates because of our limited budget. We felt only because he is in the wedding that's it's ok to bring said date who I don't have a last name for nor never met. I dont care if I've met her, I just know that she's not a girlfriend or fiance or whatever ettique says you have to invite as a date.
I haven't heard from him in a while so I finally Facebook emailed him on Saturday because I know that he was starting a new job (only heard that through facebook not through him) asking if he's coming to the RD on Friday night or not and what time to be at the ceremony on Saturday. I included tons of love and miss yous, asking lots of questions about his new job I know nothing about, congratulated him on finishing his Masters a few weeks ago and letting him know how glad I am that blessings are finally coming to him (he's very spiritual).
The wedding is in NH on Saturday at 4pm, his job is in NJ or NY I'm not even sure as he has told me no details of his new job that I know he's been working really really hard to get.
He finally responded to me saying "I can't get Friday off, I still should be able to make it on Saturday" That was it.
I was so upset that 6 days before my wedding you're pretty sure you're coming and don't seem to be that excited to come to my wedding that I actually cried.
So my question is am I being a bridezilla or can I be legitametly upset? I know that starting a new job is tough and getting time off can be tough...but it's one day maybe two if you stay over night. I figure he's had at least 3 weeks with accepting the job and putting in his notice to contact me and tell me he can't come if he's that concerned to take time off this early, if it was 3 weeks ago I wouldn't be upset sometimes your job won't give you time off I get it, but at least ask! My MOH started a new job 2 months ago and doesn't have time to take off Friday to drive 4 hours to the RD and then have Saturday and Sunday to be at the wedding but she's making it happen. She even moved and had to work out getting dress fittings, come to my dress fittings and throw us a beautiful shower with the pressures of a move and a new job.
I guess I'm thinking if I was in a wedding I would have it on my calander and have that in the back of my mind. Other friends took work off MONTHS ago to make sure they would be there (I have a lot of retail friends).
My MOH knows this guy and said she's not suprised. Apparently he wasn't responsive at all for the shower or anything else. I get that you dont' have to go...but at least RSVP no when you are sent an invitation as well as sent a follow up email of are you coming for headcount purposes.
My mom was also really upset. Just knowing everything that this friend has done for me and my family she felt like he was blowing us off.
At this point I almost want to just say you know what stay home, but I'm not. I acted on emotion and emailed him back I know I should have called but we might have ended our friendship if I said this. I reminded him poliltey that we have paid x amount per person already for him and his date (non refundable), we've printed programs with his name in them and have the day set with the JP for him to be called up during the ceremony. I said if you can't make it I need to know ASAP so that i can fill your 2 seats and get a new reader...no response.
I'm going to call him tonight after work, but I really feel like if you don't care about the wedding and that it's of so little importance to you don't play such an important role. That's why I feel like a bridezilla. I get that the world doesn't revolve around my wedding but if you're that good of a friend you'll want to be there for this one day of my life right? I would for his wedding in a heart beat even if it was in a different country.
Thank for listening ladies and if I'm being a bridezilla I'm sorry, this just hit me like a ton of bricks from left field  ( |