... Underwhelmed?

FutureMrsCoombs

So I went wedding dress shopping today, and put a deopsit on a dress that I think is great and very flattering. It got glowing reviews from my girlfriends who were with me. So why am I feeling. . .underwhelmed? Did anyone else not want to jump up and down with glee when they bought their dress?

On a side note, I am not a super bridey-bride. I am thrilled to be getting married and love my fiance, but our wedding is going to be a party with a wedding, and not the other way around. We're very casual and very excited about having a big celebration with all our friends and family, but I feel like we're already married. The marriage certificate/ceremony is more of an afterthought. We don't need it to know we're committed to each other.

I feel like I could torture myself for months over the dress, and not find anything like this. I guess I feel like I've hit an 8.5 out of 10. Do I shoot for the 10 and keep looking? Or check it off my list and move on??

meganb1977

I was underwhelmed by my dress at first too.  It fit me and the vibe I was going for with my ceremony, but it wasn't fancy or expensive and I second guessed myself a lot even though I LIKED the dress.  However, I LOVED it when it pulled together with shoes, veil, jewelry, etc.  So give your dress a chance with your accessories before you rule it out :-)

vicki0508

Can you afford to lose the deposit?  Will the bridal salon transfer the deposit to a new dress?

If you really can't afford to lose the deposit, I wouldn't continue looking.  What if you found something you did like better but couldn't afford it?  I think that would be worse than walking down the aisle in a dress you 8.5 liked.

FWIW I didn't get all emotional when I picked my dress.  I felt the best in it, so logically that was the best decision.

CaylaSummer

I was not overly excited when I bought my dress. I tried on lots to be honest and I eventually found one that I love the most. I got tired of trying on dresses and it was too time consuming apart from planning my wedding. It was the last thing on my mind to buy my dress.

So I'm sure you love your dress. sometimes your first choice is always the right one.

FutureMrsCoombs

Thank you, this has all been helpful. The deposit is not refundable, but I can use it toward anything else in the store, and they have tons of shoes, accessories and even invitations, so really no money lost there.

I also didn't love the veil I tried on with the dress but it's a great point that I may feel differently when it's all blinged out!

_Dagney_

iT'S A DRESS.  iT IS PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE TO NOT GO INTO HYSTERICS.

Sorry about the caps lock.  I wasnt really shouting.

starlite21l

I am underwhelmed with my dress.  My mom and friends think it is amazing.  I mean I like it and agree that it is very flattering but it doesn't make my jump through hoops, cry tears of joy or anything like that.  I just assume that once I put in the hair flower that I LOVE, get my hair done in the style I want, add some killer makeup and am standing at the alter that it will all come together.  I knew though that the dress wasn't going to be a life altering moment for me.   But to me the whole process was a lot of work when in reality it is a piece of clothing that does not symbolize what we are actually there for... marrying the love of our lives.

LoveMuffins

I think a lot of it has to do with personality. I ended up with a dress that a friend picked out, and when I first tried it on I was incredibly underwhelmed, although I thought it was very flattering. It also wasn't anything like what I originally thought I wanted. But my friends loved it and praised it over the moon, and the more I looked at myself in the mirror the more I saw what they were talking about. And the more I looked, after that dress, at other dresses the more I realized that I was comparing all of them to that dress. So it kind of snuck up on me and stole my heart away without me even realizing it... I didn't jump up and down or cry, but I definitely consider it my perfect dress.

Jookie77

I understand and felt the same way-- but I also think I would have been second-guessing any dress I bought. My mom said I am ruined by watching bridal-reality TV . Those shows are definitely not reality, for the most part.

Can you see yourself walking down the aisle in the dress? Marrying your love? Having fun at your reception? I did feel better once I found the veil, a stunning headband, and some jewelry.

HTH

edeeg043

I went shopping a whole lot before i picked my dress.  I was not going to settle for just ok in my eyes.  There  were some dresses that my mom and MOH cried over and thought were wonderful.  I knew it was not the one for me and I wanted to keep looking.  It took me 5 days of shopping at 8 different stores for me to find my dress and i love it.

My point is if you think you want to look more then i think you should! You may realize that you dress you bought is the one for you or you may find one that is better. Either way you will be happy with your choice. 

autumnbreeze26

When I got married the first time, I got "that feeling" when I put on my dress. Coincidentally, it wasn't a dress that I had picked off the rack, my MOH did. She said, "It's totally you!" but I didn't care for it in the bag. After trying on countless dresses, I tried on the dress she picked out. I literally cried when I put it on. I felt so stupid for crying but the lady at the bridal shop said lots of brides do that.

But this time, I never got that feeling or cried over any dress. I'm happy with the one I have and I think it will look gorgeous. But I guess I also have a different outlook on this wedding compared to the last one. I feel exactly how you feel - we already feel like we're married and are super casual, wanting a party with a wedding. The first time, I was all about the wedding itself.

beamer84

I felt the same way as the OP. I really liked my dress, and my friends and Mom LOVED it. I got it, and I grew to LOVE the dress. Plus, now it is/was MY wedding dress, which makes it very special to me.

[Deleted User]

I know I never had that teary feeling either, and my feelings about the wedding seem to be pretty much the same as yours.  We had been together a long time, and it was just time to get married and have a party.  I think my excitement was more about the total experience rather than any one element such as the dress, which was made for me and was gorgeous.  Our location was beautiful, my caterer did an incredible job, everyone I worked with made me feel like his/her favorite niece.  It was just a totally beautiful experience, and the dress was just one lovely part of it.  I feel I could have had the same experience in many other dresses. 

Personally, I think many of the brides on the wedding TV shows probably need to get a real life, and that's not just a cliche.  I'm going out on a limb here, but I strongly suspect that for many of those women getting married is the biggest event that ever has or ever will happen to them.  Most real women just don't get THAT  excited about any part of the wedding experience; it's just one really lovely event in our lovely lives.