Skip the engagement ring?

maheygan

My fiance and I are definantly on a budget. We set a date and went and ordered wedding bands. I love my wedding band but I have had several people say so....you're not engaged? Are we the only ones to do this? Feel free to share pics of your wedding/engagement rings! I love seeing the beautiful variety!

Avion22

I don't have a pic of my ring to share....

...but people can keep their mouths shut:-)  If you have set a date and are planning on getting married, then you ARE engaged!!!   A ring doesn't make a couple engaged.  In fact, my parents bought their wedding bands with no engagement ring -- my mom didn't get a diamond until 7 or 8 years into their marriage when they could afford it (both were in grad school at the time).   Then she upgraded on their 30th anniversary, turning her old diamond into a side-stone on a three-stone ring (representing "the past.")

xobride

We're on a budget as well so we opted for lab created diamonds rather than real ones and will upgrade them in the future if finances allow.  I'm wearing my grandmother's wedding band from 1927 so we didn't need to buy one for me and his is going to be from Lois Hill in silver because he loves that designer and we have a story with the crosses from her line.  I don't really care one way or the other because you can't tell the difference and it's more about the sentimental value than how much the ring is worth.  Here's a pic of mine:

jagore08

There's nothing wrong with no having an engagement ring.  People are saying these things because it's the norm to have an engagement ring with the proposal.  Next time someone says the "So... you're not engaged?" statement, put a smile on and say, "Yes, we're engaged.  He asked and I said yes so that makes us engaged."

ETA: If you want to look at rings, the Just Engaged and Proposals board has a thread where a lot of ladies have posted their rings.

j-harvey

I've known people who have had non-diamond engagement rings, hand-me-down rings (their terms, not mine) in different metals than the wedding band, and no wedding ring - just the engagement ring.  I also knew someone who had a diamond wedding band and a family  engagement ring who replaced the engagement ring with an anniversary band several years later.  (That was a cool and very practical look for her lifestyle.)  You just need to do whatever feels best for you.  Until you get married you could buy a CZ ring (actually I like the ones from QVC) to keep people quiet or just have a standard reply, like, "We're not doing an engagement ring, but the Marriage License Bureau assured us our marriage would still be legal."

snuff9861

Agree with PPs, a ring doesnt make you engaged. The fact that you're planning a wedding and have agreed to spend the rest of your lives together, that makes you engaged. We're on a budget, so FI bought my ring online for $500. He scored pretty sweetly as we found out when we got it appraised for insurance it's worth $5000. If you dont want an engagement ring, dont have one. If you want one, then buy any ring you want. Doesnt have to be a diamond. As PP said, the just engaged board has so many pictures of rings. Here's my set. I had the band custiom made.

laurenoliveira23

whats funny is engagement rings didnt become common until the 19th century and diamond rings didnt until the 1930s. when the diamond companies wanted to make more money they put it on rings and advertised it as an engagement ring this became the new thing so everyone wanted one haha

i just learned this recently and of course was surprised of this because i wasnt born anywhere near the 30s

Cortney1982

I have an engagement ring but have no plans on adding a wedding band.  I like just the one ring.  I can always change my mind later and add a band for an anniversary.

Beads921

You definitely don't need an engagement ring if you don't want one. Lots of couples don't bother.

FI and I haven't bought our wedding bands yet, but I'm really excited to. I want one that I can wear without my e-ring because although I adore it, I don't want to wear it every single day.

random4180

My mother didn't have one because she disliked how men got judged by the size of the ring and how much it cost them- she got a diamond ring later, after they were married. I have one only because my FI gave me his grandmother's ring so we didn't have to buy it (only get it sized for me.) There's a matching wedding band that we're using as well and I like the heritage of it. His grandparents were married until death did they part and I appreciate that...I feel like the rings have good mojo! 

If this wasn't an option, I would have been perfectly happy without a ring (or with a cheap ring from Wal-mart if he wanted to give me something) and I told him as much when we would discuss marriage. Don't listen to anybody else who feels that you "need" a ring- like PP posters have said, if you're planning a wedding, you ARE engaged! (FYI- My parents have been married for over forty years so I don't think their lack of an engagement ring affected their marriage any )

egeurts

One of my friends is planning her wedding, already bought a dress... but is insisting that she isn't engaged because she doesn't have a ring yet. AND, once she gets it, he is going to make a big spectacle and propose to her as if it were a surprise *rolls eyes*... I understand wanting a ring, but to insist that you arent engaged unless you have one, or unless you have a proposal complete with a ring, is ridiculous. 

kateguess22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_skip-the-engagement-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:4c212217-62e8-44f2-b2d6-f88dff3648e6Post:8ba44bc8-bb70-4ec8-806b-48a025d9ef1b">Re: Skip the engagement ring?</a>:
[QUOTE]One of my friends is planning her wedding, already bought a dress... but is insisting that she isn't engaged because she doesn't have a ring yet. AND, once she gets it, he is going to make a big spectacle and propose to her as if it were a surprise *rolls eyes*... I understand wanting a ring, but to insist that you arent engaged unless you have one, or unless you have a proposal complete with a ring, is ridiculous. 
Posted by egeurts[/QUOTE]

Honestly I totally agree with you on this, buuuuut to be fair to your friend if she doesn't consider herself "officially" engaged then she's not officially engaged. Some people don't "feel" engaged until after the proposal/ring so to each their own. But like I said I totally agree with you- you don't need to have a ring to be engaged.

misssunshine17

My mother didn't have an engagement ring until her second anniversary. They were no less engaged or married without a ring. It is a physical symbol, but does not dictate to if you are or aren't engaged. Screw anyone that makes you feel like you "need" one to be engaged- it's a piece of metal, not the agreement of marriage. 

Kenneylynn3

I have just an engagement ring. I won't have a wedding band with mine, because I didn't want one. Plus my ring, looks like two rings offset. Sorry but I don't have a picture of mine.

bjackson0524

I think it's INCREDIBLE how self righteous some people can be. If you are planning your wedding and have discussed with your fiance that you want to spend the rest of your lives together, YOU ARE ENGAGED! Congratulations! And there are some cheaper options for rings, you can search online and find a ton. I told my FI that he could put a string around my finger and I would be perfectly happy. (he became determined and bought a beautiful ring) But if half the women in the world cared about their marriage as much as they care about showing off their ring, divorce rates would be significantly fewer. Good luck with wedding planning! And just politely smile and say very sarcastically 'What makes you think that a piece of metal defines my relationship and choices to be married?' The next time someone asks

MafaldaGamboa

I don't see any problem with not having a ring. When my fiance proposed he did his own ring and I can't use it much otherwise it will fall apart because it was no diamond ring, it was a copper string that he weaved into a very good looking piece of art. Afterwards we bought this "diamond ring":  http://charlesandmarie.com/een/diamond-rings-by-amt-1-8

I even find it funny how superficial people can be. If the question if you're not engaged bothers you then make a joke of it. We did that by getting a ring that looks so plastic that nobody can even call us cheap!

Caity619

You're being smart and not buying into the whole wedding industry bs! I love my ring and when my fi let me pick it out, I knew it would be the only one I'd wear. Technically it's an anniversary band, but it's my perfect engagement and wedding ring!

melb2013

Wow, people are ridiculous- how rude.  You are engaged because you have both made the commitment to marry as PPs have stated.

My grandmother never had an engagement ring and were married until she passed away 57 years later.  My parents didn't buy an engagement ring until way after they were engaged and almost married.