Wedding Dress Dilemma

rojo0814

Hello everyone, i met my sweetheart 24 years ago on a NY subway, i broke up to go to college and focus on school., we went about our lives and met on a train 24 years later and have been inseparable and completely in love.

I've been married 2 times, he never married. I'm torn about wearing white (even off-white), since all our guests know i've been married and i too have a been there done that attititude with a white or ivory dress... Meanwhile, he's never been married, and i want him to have the beauty of a bride in a wedding dress. Should i focus on him and make him happy or should i wear what i'd be comfortable in?

Our wedding is close friends and family.

Thank you
Third Times' The Charm, Indeed!

AddieCake

I don't see any reason why you can't wear a white dress just because you have been married before. If you don't want to wear one, that's a different story. What about something in a champagne or pale pink? That would still be somewhat "bridal" for him but not make you feel awkward. 

artbyallie

You can wear any color you want. A white wedding dress only symbolizes wealth, since it's not something you ever wear again. Before Queen Victoria started the trend, brides wore their nicest dress or got a new one that they would then wear as their best dress for other occasions. Blue is the color of purity/innocence/virginity, if that's what you're worried about.

rks421

I agree. You should wear what you want to wear. Your husbandto be will think you look beautifulk in whatever dress... he probably wont even know the color differnce anyways because you will look so beautiful he wont even notice.

gailpete

There are some beautiful wedding dresses available in champagne, blush, gold or silver right now.  You might find something you like that has color, but is still "bridal" in appearance.  Even if you do decide to where white or ivory, I don't think anyone would side-eye your decision.

Wear whatever you feel beautiful in.

rojo0814

Thank you for your response, I agree and am happy to get some positive motivation from this awesome Community Board.  The color suggestions are great, I didn't think of using a champagne, blush, etc.  The past is the past and the present is wonderful, I should celebrate our happiness!  All the best to you.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_wedding-dress-dilemma-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:4e879cae-9e88-47b2-b99a-d51587830d01Post:5f9fe23e-9be7-4c5b-b69d-c681070d331f">Re: Wedding Dress Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]There are some beautiful wedding dresses available in champagne, blush, gold or silver right now.  You might find something you like that has color, but is still "bridal" in appearance.  Even if you do decide to where white or ivory, I don't think anyone would side-eye your decision. Wear whatever you feel beautiful in.
Posted by gailpete[/QUOTE]

rojo0814

Thank you for your response, you are absolutely right, he'll be happy if I showed up in jeans and t-shirt.  I will focus on the happiness and present and leave the past behind.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_wedding-dress-dilemma-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:4e879cae-9e88-47b2-b99a-d51587830d01Post:100674bc-6f23-4521-8a46-73c9522f5a0a">Re: Wedding Dress Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree. You should wear what you want to wear. Your husbandto be will think you look beautifulk in whatever dress... he probably wont even know the color differnce anyways because you will look so beautiful he wont even notice.
Posted by rks421[/QUOTE]

rojo0814

Thank you very much, I was not aware of the distinction of colors, I feel more comfortable at the thought of a white/off-white dress now. 

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_wedding-dress-dilemma-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:4e879cae-9e88-47b2-b99a-d51587830d01Post:20a6c536-3fcb-4523-8236-286b21f27fc7">Re: Wedding Dress Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]You can wear any color you want. A white wedding dress only symbolizes wealth, since it's not something you ever wear again. Before Queen Victoria started the trend, brides wore their nicest dress or got a new one that they would then wear as their best dress for other occasions. Blue is the color of purity/innocence/virginity, if that's what you're worried about.
Posted by artbyallie[/QUOTE]

VeronicaHanG

Hi there...this is my 3rd and his 2nd. You should wear whatever color you like...I do feel like you though...My dress is a champagne color...simple, elegant... Good luck!

hockeywife10

This is my 3rd as well. The first time, there was the whole big wedding/reception. I was 19, he was 18 and it lasted all of a year, the second time I got married on a Thursday morning at the jop, because we had a baby, and I didn't want to wait. This time around I was iffy about a white dress, but FI has never been married, and was dead set against me wearing anything but white. The more I got used to the idea, the more I realized, hey, I am finally getting married to my soul mate, and essentially this is my first time, because its our first time. Everyone is so excited that I finally found a man who loves me for me, they would support me know matter what I wear. I hope this helps you a little

rojo0814

Thank you so much for your response.  You mentioned something that I feel very true to, even though this is my 3rd time, if feels like my first time, i supposed it's because the first 2, even I knew they would not work and my fiance is my 1, what a beautiful and different feeling, thanks again.

[QUOTE]This is my 3rd as well. The first time, there was the whole big wedding/reception. I was 19, he was 18 and it lasted all of a year, the second time I got married on a Thursday morning at the jop, because we had a baby, and I didn't want to wait. This time around I was iffy about a white dress, but FI has never been married, and was dead set against me wearing anything but white. The more I got used to the idea, the more I realized, hey, I am finally getting married to my soul mate, and essentially this is my first time, because its our first time. Everyone is so excited that I finally found a man who loves me for me, they would support me know matter what I wear. I hope this helps you a little
Posted by crystal&russl10[/QUOTE]

rojo0814

Thank you very much for your response, I feel so much more comfortable now that I've read so many great responses.

In Response to Re: Wedding Dress Dilemma:
[QUOTE]Wear whatever makes you feel beautiful.  It is not a faux pas to wear a white dress.  White was the color for celebration in many early societies, and they became popular for weddings because Queen Victoria wore one for her wedding.  Please come and visit us on the Second Weddings board.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

rojo0814

Thank you so much for your response, I will wear what I am comfortable in, I'm sure he will do whatever he can to feel comfortable and he wouldn't care what I'm wearing as long as I show up!

In Response to Re: Wedding Dress Dilemma:
[QUOTE]Hi there...this is my 3rd and his 2nd. You should wear whatever color you like...I do feel like you though...My dress is a champagne color...simple, elegant... Good luck!
Posted by VeronicaHanG[/QUOTE]

rojo0814

Thank you and you are right, he will be happy that I show up and am as happy as he is.  Best to focus on how wonderful he is and how great we are together

In Response to Re: Wedding Dress Dilemma:
[QUOTE]I agree. You should wear what you want to wear. Your husbandto be will think you look beautifulk in whatever dress... he probably wont even know the color differnce anyways because you will look so beautiful he wont even notice.
Posted by rks421[/QUOTE]