How to go about......No Jeans allowed....

ejahlas

My fiance & I want our wedding to be classy & elegant. So we want to make sure no one wears jeans to either the wedding or reception. We don't want it to be a black tie affair, just ppl to look nice, no jeans, jean shorts skirt.  Does anyone have an idea of how we can let ppl know that jeans aren't allowed and that they should be dressed up so to say?

LesPaul

You cannot tell adults how to dress.  Don't worry about what your guests wear - it does not reflect poorly on you if they wear khakis, or jeans, or whatever.  My uncle wore jeans and a tshirt to my wedding, because he wears jeans and a tshirt everywhere.  I didn't really notice or care.  Let it go.

dizzinea

set the tone with more formal invites and have family subtly spread around that the wedding is semi formal, but this is all you can do

BlueBoxBride

Can you put on your wedding website "semi-formal attire suggested"? 

baboox

On the invitation and website I would simply say Cocktail Attire. 

eveoneverything

I did a FAQ section on my website and put a "What should I wear?" question.

srkropf

I totally have the same fear-- and I think I'll use the Cocktail attire idea

LesPaul

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_aboutno-jeans-allowed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:50f56c79-44ad-4615-87a2-b108a69f28fePost:c344b620-02ca-4bfa-ac2a-731a043b9b7f">Re: How to go about......No Jeans allowed....</a>:
[QUOTE]On the invitation and website I would simply say Cocktail Attire. 
Posted by baboox[/QUOTE]

Telling your guests how to dress does not belong on the invitation.

opalsky007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_aboutno-jeans-allowed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:50f56c79-44ad-4615-87a2-b108a69f28fePost:b4b020dd-cade-4081-aa9d-b5cf8b2cea18">Re: How to go about......No Jeans allowed....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to go about......No Jeans allowed.... : Telling your guests how to dress does not belong on the invitation.
Posted by LesPaul[/QUOTE]

<div>Agreed. It is not polite to tell people how to dress on an invitation. Only the style and formality of the invitation will dictate this. Combined with the formality of your venue, that's enough information for an adult to decide how to dress appropriately.</div><div>
</div><div>I promise, people really do know how to dress for weddings. My sloppy cousin showed up in a 3-piece suit. And what's more, if they do not dress appropriately for some reason, it just plain doesn't matter. How does someone else's lack of taste affect how you enjoy your day, or how you look in the eyes of your guests? It doesn't.</div>

aerinpegadrak

I had a blurb on the FAQ section of my website about attire, but that was really more to assure everyone that all other weekend events were casual as to inform them that the wedding itself was formal.  A few people came to me with various dress code questions, which I dealt with one-on-one.  I agree that nothing about attire should ever go on the invitations barring true black/white tie or a venue restriction (i.e. they'll be turned away at the door without a jacket and tie). 

A couple of people on DH's side were somewhat underdressed for the wedding; looking at the photos I see an uncle in a flannel shirt and his stepbrother in an untucked short-sleeved shirt with no tie.  I want to say that I noticed at the reception, but in a fleeting sort of way, and it didn't affect my enjoyment of the party one bit.

Fineporcelain

To me, I wouldn't care if they were dressed in jeans. the only thing that would mater to me in the long run, was that they were there to share my special day with us.

sarahcallie

I don't think there is anything wrong with putting "Cocktail Attire" at the bottom corner of your invitation if it is important to you. If that makes you uncomfortable, put something on your website under the details of the wedding day that says cocktail attire or semi-formal attire. I don't think it's inappropriate at all and some people might think the way they are dressing is perfectly appropriate even though it's not.

It might not bother you if someone shows up underdressed the day of the wedding, but it might look blaringly obvious in your pictures if everyone is in cocktail attire and then one person is in jeans and a short-sleeved button down shirt. Go based on how important the issue is to you.

ring_pop

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_aboutno-jeans-allowed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:50f56c79-44ad-4615-87a2-b108a69f28fePost:d7590f8d-0592-4fc8-88b4-4823d35324fc">Re: How to go about......No Jeans allowed....</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think there is anything wrong with putting "Cocktail Attire" at the bottom corner of your invitation if it is important to you. If that makes you uncomfortable, put something on your website under the details of the wedding day that says cocktail attire or semi-formal attire. I don't think it's inappropriate at all and some people might think the way they are dressing is perfectly appropriate even though it's not. It might not bother you if someone shows up underdressed the day of the wedding, but it might look blaringly obvious in your pictures if everyone is in cocktail attire and then one person is in jeans and a short-sleeved button down shirt. Go based on how important the issue is to you.
Posted by sarahcallie[/QUOTE]

It is not proper etiquette to indicate a dress code on the invitation unless required by the venue (like a country club that requires jackets). Etiquette assumes that your guests are considerate and intelligent. It also assumes that if they cannot discern from the style of the invitation, and the venue, what the proper dress code is, they will ask.

Just because something is "important" to a bride, it does not give her license to be rude to her guests. Who cares if it's blaringly obvious from the wedding pictures that someone is underdressed? In 5, 10, 20 years when you look through pictures of all of the friends and family that came to support you on your wedding day (and everyone's attire looks horribly dated anyway) - you'll hopefully be reminiscing about what a happy day it was for everyone... not the jeans that Uncle Ernie wore.

sarahcallie

It is not proper etiquette to indicate a dress code on the invitation unless required by the venue (like a country club that requires jackets). Etiquette assumes that your guests are considerate and intelligent. It also assumes that if they cannot discern from the style of the invitation, and the venue, what the proper dress code is, they will ask.

Some people might think that what they are wearing is appropriate for the occasion and venue even if it isn't. Again, if it is important to the bride, it is not considered rude to subtly put in small writing at the bottom corner of the invitation "Cocktail Attire" in order to avoid people showing up in jeans. I wouldn't be offended if I received an invitation that had that on it.

My wedding takes place at the beach in the evening and my fiance pointed out that people might think it's appropriate to wear a "nice" t-shirt. I reminded him that the reception will be indoors inside the hotel and cocktail attire would really be more appropriate. We will simply be indicating this on our wedding website, in a FAQ section. After that, if someone insists on coming to the wedding in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt, I won't freak out, but it would be pretty rude. The hotel doesn't necessarily have a dress code, but that person would feel out of place there. Just my opinion on the issue...

sugrrrplum

The previous posts are right on. You can't tell people how to dress.  You can put it on a website, on an information card, spread it around verbally...  but people are going to do what they want to do.  I had many people show up underdressed.  I noticed, and I still notice when looking at pictures.. but there is nothing you can do about it.  Put out the suggestion and pray people "get it".