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Attire & Accessories Forum
HortenseEspinoza
member
SISTER-IN-LAW causing MAJOR upset over flower girl dress
Hi Gals!
I am getting married in November and have quite of large wedding party of 14 Bridesmaids, Ushers and 2 Maids of Honor and Best men. I also have 5 flower girls. Since I am 39, most of my Bridesmaid friends have daughters, so they will be flower girls. We had asked my fiance's brother's little girl, (she will be 3 by the time the wedding comes) FIRST to be one of our flower girls. Now that the wedding is coming, I was in my dress shop and the salewoman informed me that my Bridesmaid's dresses came in mini for flower girls. I immediately fell in love and got in otuch with all 5 moms of the flowers girls...my sister in law being one of them.
The dress itself is an Alfred Angelo A-line Satin Claret gown, spaghetti straps and an invory shawl to be appprpiate for church. My sister-in-laws response to my e-mail (before even seeing the dress) was the following, "I think having Annie match the bridal party and not the bride is not a good idea. In every wedding party through the centuries flower girls match the bride"
I was very upset by this...out of 14 woman and 4 mothers, NONE of them had an issue. They were only too happy to have this honor. My sister-in-law felt the dress was "inappropiate" and it should look more little girl like. After a few conversations, she went on to say, "If Annie meant so much to you – being your niece – you shouldn’t care if walks down your aisle in a paper bag – and that’s how I feel- that you’re putting a dress before your niece.”
My fiance had suffered a heart attack one year prior, his Dad was dianosed with stage 4 cancer, and we both were laid-off from our jobs...our stress level was through the roof, so I ha da hard time with this whole scenario. In the 17 weddding parties i've been in, the Bride & Groom chose the attire...becaise..well...it was their wedding. This dress I picked was simple and elegant (please see below) and furthermore cost a mere $85.00.
My sister-in-law (knowing full well all of our major stresses) went onto say to my faince', "Horatio, being that she is your niece you would rather not see her in it, but you would rather her wear the dress…that she is your blood – so you’re telling me that you would rather see Annie in your wedding party in that dress or not be in it – I wanna hear that from you – I wanna hear it Horatio – I wanna hear the words.”
Needless to say my fiance was pushed to the wall....and now his own blodd brother will not speak to him. I just don't know what to do...this is just awful. Help!!!
I am getting married in November and have quite of large wedding party of 14 Bridesmaids, Ushers and 2 Maids of Honor and Best men. I also have 5 flower girls. Since I am 39, most of my Bridesmaid friends have daughters, so they will be flower girls. We had asked my fiance's brother's little girl, (she will be 3 by the time the wedding comes) FIRST to be one of our flower girls. Now that the wedding is coming, I was in my dress shop and the salewoman informed me that my Bridesmaid's dresses came in mini for flower girls. I immediately fell in love and got in otuch with all 5 moms of the flowers girls...my sister in law being one of them.
The dress itself is an Alfred Angelo A-line Satin Claret gown, spaghetti straps and an invory shawl to be appprpiate for church. My sister-in-laws response to my e-mail (before even seeing the dress) was the following, "I think having Annie match the bridal party and not the bride is not a good idea. In every wedding party through the centuries flower girls match the bride"
I was very upset by this...out of 14 woman and 4 mothers, NONE of them had an issue. They were only too happy to have this honor. My sister-in-law felt the dress was "inappropiate" and it should look more little girl like. After a few conversations, she went on to say, "If Annie meant so much to you – being your niece – you shouldn’t care if walks down your aisle in a paper bag – and that’s how I feel- that you’re putting a dress before your niece.”
My fiance had suffered a heart attack one year prior, his Dad was dianosed with stage 4 cancer, and we both were laid-off from our jobs...our stress level was through the roof, so I ha da hard time with this whole scenario. In the 17 weddding parties i've been in, the Bride & Groom chose the attire...becaise..well...it was their wedding. This dress I picked was simple and elegant (please see below) and furthermore cost a mere $85.00.
My sister-in-law (knowing full well all of our major stresses) went onto say to my faince', "Horatio, being that she is your niece you would rather not see her in it, but you would rather her wear the dress…that she is your blood – so you’re telling me that you would rather see Annie in your wedding party in that dress or not be in it – I wanna hear that from you – I wanna hear it Horatio – I wanna hear the words.”
Needless to say my fiance was pushed to the wall....and now his own blodd brother will not speak to him. I just don't know what to do...this is just awful. Help!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: SISTER-IN-LAW causing MAJOR upset over flower girl dress
[QUOTE]Spaghetti straps aren't appropriate for a 3-year-old. I don't think they're appropriate for anyone under about 15. If the mom doesn't like the spaghetti straps, then it's her decision. I also think a floor-length dress for a 3 year old is a really bad idea. I don't agree about "matching the bride" though. I think if you could find a claret dress cut for a little girl, that would be fine. Or maybe a white/ivory dress with a claret sash or claret details? The color is you choice. But <strong><font color="#0000ff">the style does have to be approved by the girl's parents.</font></strong>
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]
Yup. Mom needs to be on-board with the style of dress for her 3 year old.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
I think that you set yourself up for drama by having such a large wedding party. It's your day and you can do whatever you want, but a party that big could only lead to some kid of drama somewhere in the process.
[QUOTE]<strong>Spaghetti straps aren't appropriate for a 3-year-old. I don't think they're appropriate for anyone under about 15.</strong> If the mom doesn't like the spaghetti straps, then it's her decision. I also think a floor-length dress for a 3 year old is a really bad idea. I don't agree about "matching the bride" though. I think if you could find a claret dress cut for a little girl, that would be fine. Or maybe a white/ivory dress with a claret sash or claret details? The color is you choice. <strong>But the style does have to be approved by the girl's parents.</strong>
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]
My flower girl was my MOH's (and BFF's) daughter. She and I chose the dress together because it was my wedding but her daughter, so I wanted her to have a say in it. We ended up with a very cute ivory dress with tulle and a blue sash to match the wedding party. She looked adorable, and perfect for her age. And it didn't have spaghetti straps. She's 3. Not 30.
[QUOTE]Thank you ladies, for all your opinions...and it's funny because I read not that a single one of you live in New York. $85 dollars for us is cheap...most Bridemaid's dresses I have bought have been upwards of $300. As far as spaghetti straps, I do like the idea of making them wider...but I do not at all agree with any of you who said a floor length gown or shawl is unmanagable. If you have the right seamstress...and a good seamstress, floor length is not an issue.
Posted by HortenseEspinoza[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>There is a difference between a grown woman paying $85 for a dress, and spending that kind of money on a dress for a 3-year-old. And it doesn't matter if the mother of the 2 1/2 year-old thinks the dress is okay. The 3-year-olds mom DOES NOT, and it's her child, so she makes the call. Hopefully one of the 7 other styles will work :-)
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andplusalso, a 3 year old will outgrow the dress in months!