Update: BM Removed Herself from WP

em01092

For those of you who read my post a few days ago about the BM not getting the dress yet, she finally got back to me. She says she has been trying to save and had a lot of things come up. I realized this like 2 months ago but was just waiting for the conversation neither of us wanted to have. I think she was hinting at getting me to pay/guilting me into it, but I'm sorry, I just do not think that is fair. My other 4 BMs managed to save as they all said the prices were fine, and I gave them over a YEAR to save and plan. They have bills, loans, etc of their own, so it doesn't seem fair for me to pay for her dress or even a part of it when Ididn't do that for the other girls. Now if there had been some kind of medical emergency, loss of job, accident, whatever, that's different. She just isn't good with saving money. 

Now, she got married last year and had a DW. She gave me 3 weeks notice and the wedding was 7 hours away, the day before I started back to college. Needless to say, I could not attend. I kind of feel like she is bitter about me not coming, just based off of some snarky comments she has made to me recently. 

I know it's her money, she's an adult, yadayada, but I feel hurt that she agreed to be a BM and then would brag about buying random crap on facebook one day (like a signed Lil Wayne poster and a PS3), then complain about being broke the very next day. It makes me feel like, put on the back burner, you know? I just feel like when you agree to be a BM, that's a serious honor and commitment, as far as getting the dress, and showing up. I'm not talking about showers and parties.I mean, I'm a BM in a June wedding and I'm ordering my BM dress next week. FI and I have already budgeted how much we need to save for gas, hotel, my hair/makeup expenses, etc for the trip to her wedding...Sorry if that makes me sound snobby but that's just the way I feel. I guess this is one of those times I have to accept not everyone does this. 

*vent over lol 

mybestfriend4eva

Awwww so sorry to hear honey. Hope you are doing okay and im glad you could vent here! Hope everything is okay and that its all smooth sailing from here on out for you. Dont worry you arent the only one who has had major BM issues as I had one as well. But I just kept thinking about marrying my guy and everything else just seemed so small in comparison.

meganb1977

I hear you that it was a tough decision, at least you somewhat expected what would happen and it's been resolved now so you can move on and finish up your planning.  Still stinks that she wasn't responsible enough to set aside something for her dress and any other expenses so she could stand in your wedding.  If she is still bitter that you weren't able to travel to attend her wedding given such short notice, that's her problem!

cgyvhu

I know it's her money, she's an adult, yadayada, but I feel hurt that she agreed to be a BM and then would brag about buying random crap on facebook one day (like a signed Lil Wayne poster and a PS3), then complain about being broke the very next day. It makes me feel like, put on the back burner, you know?

Sorry that happened, Erica but it's probably for the best.  One less stressful think to think about before the wedding.  As for the part I bolded, try not to take it personally.  There are a lot of people out there who just really suck at budgeting and saving money, regardless of how much they care about thing/people.  I agree that you were right not to pay the dress to be fair to everyone/yourself.  Hopefully this is the last of your wedding drama!

em01092

Thanks gals. Yeah I really just needed to let that out haha. And yes, I think it was for the best. At least now it is over with.