Grandma in White

CurlsNpearls12

My Grandmother and I have a very close relationship. I just found out that she bought an off white/ Ivory dress for our wedding.

I'm not worried about what anyone wears, but I am worried about what our guests might think about someone else, especially my Grandmother, wearing some type of white to the wedding.

Do you think something should be said to her regarding this? Or should I just let it go and worry about more important things?

skurtz04

I agree. If it doesn't bother you then let her wear it. You will have to much going on that day to worry about what your guests think about your grandmas dress.

achiduck

I'd let it go. I don't think people are going to judge your grandmother for this.

calliopeia2013

Going to be the odd one out here- if there's a polite way to make sure that she knows it's a faux pas, it's worth letting her know. 

My dad's from a culture where certain colors are not considered acceptable at certain events, and my mom had a really hard time when they first got married because people would be judgy over what she was wearing because no one told her the rules in advance.  And I know I'd want to be told if I were planning on wearing something that was an etiquette faux pas.

If she knows and just doesn't care, though, and you don't care, then don't worry about it.

vgyurko

my friend's wedding... the MOB wore a white/ivory dress and no one thought badly of it... I think its more what you're comfortable with

Sydney91

I wouldn't worry about it. Depending on your grandmother's age, she may not have worn white when she got married. White was popularized in 1840 by Queen Victoria, but wasn't common until the 1950's when white became a symbol of purity/innocence for brides. My grandmothers wore yellow and brown when they got married. She just may not see the importance of white to brides today.

kraeuter2b

I would definitely metion to her *politely* that it is inappropriate.  It not only is a fashion faux pas, but also, you want everyone's eyes on you that day.  Even if it may not bother you, other people will be thinking about it.  If your grandmother is close to you she will understand.  Maybe even mention to her that she could wear to another event like your shower?

rlavach

If it was your sister or even your mother, then I'd say something. But grandma?? Eh, let her wear whatever she wants. Grandma's always get away with everything.

HannahK15

I know if my grandmother whore a white/off white dress I would be upset. I know If i went to a wedding and a grandmother was wearing I would notice and think about it.

I guess its up to you. If you don't mind then thats fine.

StephBeanWed61502

I'm going with "grandmas get a free pass" on this one.  If it's truly a cultural issue (i.e. she's from a culture where this is acceptable and would have no way of knowing that it isn't in the U.S.) it might not hurt to have one of her children mention it to her, but otherwise, I'd leave it alone.

AurorasEnvy

I know what you mean about being more worried about what people are going to think of her wearing white than what you think.

Maybe ask your mom if she thinks your grandmother would be horrified if she knew it was generally looked down upon?  If she doesn't seem like the type to care at all about what others think, I'd let it go - but if others' opinions really matter to her, I might mention it.

Grits8812

I wouldn't worry about it.  As long as they don't try to say something about it to her face, it will be fine.

KSwen719

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_grandma-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:5628d55f-e711-499d-af13-5f17692e91d1Post:01571a62-60d5-4a3e-912e-705d7fca0ca1">Re: Grandma in White</a>:
[QUOTE]Not in a million years would I tell my grandma that she couldn't wear the dress she bought for my wedding.  Yes, there's the old rule about wearing white, and if the person wearing it wasn't two generations older than the bride it might be a problem.  Nobody will mistake her for the bride. Also, keep in mind that getting out and shopping can be physically very difficult for older people.  Your grandma might have found very few possible dresses when she went shopping.  Maybe she was physically unable to shop any more.  Maybe she just thought she looked pretty in the white dress. <strong>If anybody dared to side-eye my grandma for wearing a white dress, they'd get the serious stink-eye from me.</strong>  And I'd wonder what I ever saw in that person.
Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]

<div>I totally agree with this!  Between my fiance and I, we don't have one living grandparent.  You're very lucky to have such a close relationship with your grandmother and that she'll be there with you on your big day.  My grandmother and I were very close but she passed away 15 years ago.  If she were here, I'd let her wear whatever she damn well pleased, and to hell with anyone who dared give her a sideways glance about it!</div>

HopefulLife

The grandma of one of my "cousins" wore white and I know some people talked about it among themselves but no one really worried about it and it never got back to the bride, groom, parents, etc.

Missiebean

It's grandma, let her wearit.  If you aren't too concerned about it, I wouldn't worry about what your guests think. I know it's like old-school rule to never wear white to a wedding but the weddings I've been to lately, I see a lot more people wearing white. MOB, BMs, even some guests I have seen have had balls to wear white-ish dresses, usually with some design on them though, not plain white. But in all those weddings, Bride was still center of attention and I didn't hear anyone saying anything.