EEEK

Tabbie11

I got excited today when I got a call from the salon saying the BM dresses are in.... low an behold I find out that my MOH ordered her dress too small with the intent to lose weight.
Well my wedding is in 7 weeks and she hasnt lost the weight so she doesnt want to go try it on. I wasnt with her when she ordered it to sway her the other way like I did my other BM and now I am super nervous. I dont know how much she needs to lose, but I dont know how to politely ask and approach it. I am super nervous now because she ought to begin alterations within the next 2 weeks according to the salon.

How do I approach this without being a bridezilla? I've tried really hard not too, but it was a push to even get them to go shopping and they are both very sensitive to their weight.

csweaney

You need to be really honest with her about this. There is a fine line beteween being honest and being bridezilla, however. I would just say "You know "insert bridesmaids name here" I realize you ordered your dress smaller in order to fit you once you've lost weight, but we really need to start the alterations process here in the next two weeks so we can be ready in time for my wedding. So lets set a time and day to go together to try your dress on and meet with an alterations person."

Be firm. This is your wedding and she'd likely be angry if you did something like this to her when she was getting married. 

itzMS

Honestly? I would suggest you do/say nothing at all.

She is (presumably) a grown woman. If she wants to be in the wedding, she will find a way to make the dress fit or buy a new one.

theelusive1

I agree with PP, say nothing.  That is exactly what my daughter is doing.  Her BM and her mother went out shopping.  The mother said we ordered a size smaller because we have been working out.  I said smaller?  She said yes it will be easy.   My daughter says,  well if she does not show up in a dress that fits then she wont be in the wedding.  Easy as that.

mandi195

I wouldn't say anything about the weight/dress size, but I would make sure that all members of the wedding party know that any needed alterations need to be started within the next two weeks. If you make it a blanket reminder, and say it only once, you won't be a bridezilla, but you'll also know that you've done your part, and if she fails to get the alterations done, she has effectively removed herself from the wedding party.

amymaysa

My best friend got the sample size b/c the sample fit her, well it's too tight.

She didn't want to tell me, but what can we do. She's working on trying to tone up and looking into taking it out a bit. There isn't much more we can do and stressing doens't help.

Don't say anything to her....it can't feel good to be in this position.

Peledreamsofrain

Unless you want a whooooooooole lot of extra stress and drama right before your wedding, just don't say anything to her. 

If she doesn't take any action, she's just not in your wedding party.  It's not ideal, but it's her decision, and her ball to drop. If you try to interfere, you become the bad guy.

There is still a chance she will get a rush alteration done.  It is possible, and it is the most likely scenario here.

NOLAbridealmost

Don't say anything. 

Send a message to ALL BMs saying that "If they are planning to get alterations at the shop, they need to begin in 2 weeks." 

Some girls will want to use a non-salon seamstress for alterations for money reasons, convenience, or simply because they trust their own seamstress better than the shop's.  I am a BM in my friend's wedding and I will absolutely be using my own seamstress from when I got married because I trust her, she's awesome, she's quick, and she'll be a third of the price of the salon.  

Your BM might similarly have her own plan up her sleeves.   If she doesn't figure it out, she's removed herself from the BP.   

Tabbie11

Ugh thanks ladies...its just soo tough because I dont want to say something and make a mess, she is a grown adult, but I also have a nagging desire to say something becuase she is my BEST friend, not one BM amongst several, want to help her and I want her standing with me. I only have two BM and we are so close a 'mass' email would just seem odd..... but guess I need to take a step back from this one, cant control and do everything for everyone. 

msuprincess04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_eeek?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:586f9cbc-434d-45be-9051-bba98a5e3dd5Post:37c9cfa3-2c2e-4a2a-823e-04b5dffc6952">Re: EEEK</a>:
[QUOTE]Ugh thanks ladies...its just soo tough because I dont want to say something and make a mess, she is a grown adult, but I also have a nagging desire to say something becuase she is my BEST friend, not one BM amongst several, want to help her and I want her standing with me. I only have two BM and we are so close a 'mass' email would just seem odd..... but guess I need to take a step back from this one, cant control and do everything for everyone. 
Posted by Tabbie11[/QUOTE]

If you only have two  BM it wouldn't be totally unreasonable for them to be in different dresses when the times comes. If, and it's a big IF, it comes to that. Remember, she's your best friend, you want her up there more than you care about pictures or the "look" of your wedding, and a neutral color in her size will make everyone feel better.

Tabbie11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_eeek?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:586f9cbc-434d-45be-9051-bba98a5e3dd5Post:43f3d0f6-dec4-43f4-9b9d-eefbceabfdd1">Re: EEEK</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: EEEK : If you only have two  BM it wouldn't be totally unreasonable for them to be in different dresses when the times comes. If, and it's a big IF, it comes to that. Remember, she's your best friend, you want her up there more than you care about pictures or the "look" of your wedding, and a neutral color in her size will make everyone feel better.
Posted by msuprincess04[/QUOTE]

I agree I'd rather see her in a different dress and there than not be there at all.... but I am also paying for a good portion of the dress so I'll be a little upset if it doesnt get worn!