Wedding vs Family Reunion

KatieK501

Ok - I need to get this out.  Don't we need a little drama on the boards anyway, since it's so quite lately?

FI's family is treating the wedding like a big family reunion.  They're excited that FI and I are getting married, but I'm pretty sure they're more excited that they'll all be getting together.  In a way, it's nice that they like to be together, but it's starting to really annoy me. 

FI's two brothers are in the military, and don't live close, so of course, FI is really looking forward to seeing them (and I am as well).  The oldest brother will be in town tomorrow, but the middle brother won't be able to come in until the day before the wedding.  The oldest brother just got a promotion, and the middle brother asked FI if we could do something to honor him while they're all together (FI and I are actually taking him and his wife to dinner and a concert to celebrate Thrusday).  To have them all three together to celebrate means it would probably have to be at the RD, which the IL's already decided they wanted to invite their entire family to (50+ extra people).

FI asked me if he minded if we did something to honor oldest brother, but he didn't specify when.  I said I wouldn't mind it at the RD, but not at the wedding.  FI thought I was crazy to have to mention not at the wedding, but then I explained to him a little how I had been feeling lately - like they're forgetting that I have family too and that this is about the two of us, not their family.

FI has been a lot more understanding about it since we talked, and said that they would probably do something after RD.  But I've noticed all kinds of comments of FB like these two from his cousin's:  "Can't wait for "FI's-last-name"-fest" and "We should have made t-shirts". I'm still little annoyed.

elizabethmae315

That doesnt sound like fun, but I'll bet that by the day of, everyone will be just as excited for the two of you as they are about seeing all the family. 

mekiakoo

Eh that'd bother me too. So your FI's entire family is invited to the RD, but yours isn't? I truly hope your FI's family keeps it low on the wedding day because, duh, WHO'S getting married? Not them. 

I mean of course it's wonderful that everybody is going to be together- but I hope they'll at least do it at a different time (after the RD, before the RD, the day after the wedding or something).

babeecutee

I'd be upset about it. Atleast they are excited for the wedding. It could be worst if they didn't want to come. I think it's easier to get them to tone down the reunion and focus on the wedding than to make ppl wanting to go to a wedding.

mrsmoxie

We're having the same problem. On my side and FI's side. Although it's helping that my mom is planning a BBQ with all of my side the day after the wedding - after we leave for our honeymoon so we don't have to worry about it! Maybe run that idea to FILs if that's do-able? However for my FI's side, they aren't planning anything like that... (Quite honestly I don't care) It's just a bit ridiculous that FMIL invited every relative she knows (even if FI has NO idea who these people are)

But keep on keeping your foot down! Good thing your FI understands your frustration. People seem to forget that this "Reunion" wouldn't be happening if it wasn't for your love to FI and your WEDDING. So they should be a bit more appreciative.

sunshine9779

I hear your frustration.  Both of my parents are only children so I have Mom, Dad, Sister and baby, Grampa.  That's my family.  FI is the youngest of TEN children.  I totally intend to use the power of the white dress and steal all the glorious spotlight available on my wedding day (with FI, of course)!

KatieK501

FI's parents are hosting a brunch on Sunday for all their family and friends - which, to be honest, I am thankful we will have to miss b/c our flight is early Sunday.  But with family starting to arrive tomorrow, I think they want to have some sort of get together every night from tomorrow until the 29th.  That's great - but I'm going to need some downtime personally...not to mention time to finish a few things...and to spend with my family.

I think FI's decided that since we're taking his brother and wife out Thursday to celebrate the promotion, his middle brother may have to celebrate with him without us - Sunday after the wedding.

I know you're right, Schatzi, that it is kind of par for the course.  And I love having everyone all together and getting meet those that I haven't yet.  I think why it's bothering me so much is that they're not treating it as a joining of TWO families; it's just about their side of the family.

lvissers

A lot of my Dad's side of the family was not invited to our wedding simply because they have issues and I haven't seem in over 15-20 years They got wind ofn my wedding and are offended they are not invited and are writing my dad nasty emails. So ridiculous! It is a wedding, not a family reunion!